.

Thanks for the advice girls

Re: I hate how duplicitous this seems BUT

i think that's a bit awkward to write that ... could you just write something like 'we didn't see a card from you and just wanted to touch base to make sure it wasn't lost or whatnot' ... obviously, also mention that a card is not required, but you just wanted to make sure.

Re: I hate how duplicitous this seems BUT

i would just send a thanks for coming card. after they receive it, they might ask if you got your gift or if they gave you a check, they would obviously be wondering why it wasn't cashed.

Re: I hate how duplicitous this seems BUT

this is an ackward situation. and you need to decide how you want to deal with it

i was going to mention something to one person, but then i decided against it

but its really upto you. i think the idea about the gift is not a bad one tho...too bad i didnt think of that 5 months ago. LOL

shyt, maybe ill still do it now! hahahahaha.

Re: I hate how duplicitous this seems BUT

oo that stinks-- i wouldnt send anything JMHO- they should have made it their business to give it to you at the wedding and if they forgot then mail it to you. I think it is rude - its not about the money or greed- its common courtesy.

Re: I hate how duplicitous this seems BUT

I am still waiting for my 3 no shows to call and congratulate me or something...

Re: I hate how duplicitous this seems BUT

I wanted to do that but never did. . I actually didn't get gifts from a LOT of folks and a few that I really thought would have given something (and a bunch of bum relatives I wasn't surprised about )

I just sent the card saying thanks for coming to the wedding and nothing about a gift and assumed they would say something if they had meant to give something. . and NOTHING

so. .. . .

Re: I hate how duplicitous this seems BUT

i havent said anything to anyone that didnt give us a gift...

Re: I hate how duplicitous this seems BUT

40 seems like a lot! i still cant get over that. is it possible that some got lost?

if they were indeed lost, you might get a lot of calls in a month or so from people asking when you're going to cash their check.

that happened to the 1 card that was 'lost'. he said he was going to send out another but that was a month ago;

Re: I hate how duplicitous this seems BUT

I wanted to do the same, because one person told me she was so excited to give me my gift and talked it up and I never got it, and there were other two people who would 100% give a gift, it still doesn't make sense as to why they didn't... I felt like I had to say something... but everyone told me don't. i wrote all 3 of them (as well as all of my other many non-gifters, non-carders) thank yous hoping they'd realize it said thanks for coming and not thanks for your gift... but it didn't work. I can't believe the people who didn't gift! So frustrating... I had 8 non-gifters and I have given all of these people generous gifts before. Many of them are way more financially stable than me. but I didn't want to address it. I addressed it with my maid of honor because I was a little pissed at her considering all she did the entire process was buy the dress... and she brought a date whom I had never even met before... but ok.

Re: I hate how duplicitous this seems BUT

I think its rude and comes off as asking for a gift....send a TY for coming and move on.

Re: I hate how duplicitous this seems BUT

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Posted by alli3131

I think its rude and comes off as asking for a gift....send a TY for coming and move on.

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'move on' .. wow - well said.

Re: I hate how duplicitous this seems BUT

i would totally ask...if it was 6 months down the line i'd maybe say no but do it how you said you would. it would be self satisfaction if anything (for myself too lol)

Re: I hate how duplicitous this seems BUT

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Posted by Alyssa79

i would totally ask...if it was 6 months down the line i'd maybe say no but do it how you said you would. it would be self satisfaction if anything (for myself too lol)

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Im not even mentioning it to any of the other guests but this one I KNOW 100% would have gave something .. I went to his wedding gave him $400 Ive worked with him for 8 years - hes my business partner .. I feel awkward writing a thank you for coming and never referencing a gift because what if he did give something and it got lost in the mix or something .. what a shyt situation haha.

Re: I hate how duplicitous this seems BUT

I wouldn't go there... I would just send the Thank You card saying 'thank you for coming...'

If I received a message like that and hadn't sent a gift I would think the couple was fishing for one.

Re: I hate how duplicitous this seems BUT

totally see your point! I think that you should just send the Thank you card. I think that they may actually trigger to send a gift. I have gifts still coming from people that were at the wedding in the mail of my registry. Check your registry and see if things went missing off of it recently (unless it's cleaned out).