Vendors Helping Brides ™ - LIWeddings.com- problem with this board

michele31 Posted: Jun 04, 2002 04:04 PM

LIWeddings.com- problem with this board

It is allowing brides to post responses. Just to let you know.,

LIWeddings Posted: Jun 04, 2002 05:09 PM

Re: LIWeddings.com- problem with this board

It's designed that way

Music by Michael Posted: Jun 04, 2002 05:38 PM

Re: LIWeddings.com- problem with this board

LI Weddings...

Perhaps I am the one who is confused... Are Vendors not supposed to post replies on the 'Bride' side and 'Brides' not supposed to post 'replies' on the 'Vendor' side? I believe this thread came out of the post on 'a photography question - small budget...' where even on the 'vendor' side, a bride was critical of a vendor response.
I do recall reading that there was a problem for some Brides when a vendor responded to negative criticism on the 'Bride' side. Brides posting 'responses' on the 'Vendor' side does appear to create an inequitable situation. I do not think brides would benefit if fewer vendors decided not to respond out of concern that every post they make would be countered with critical remarks from a bride. I would think that brides opinions are best placed on the bride side.

Just my thoughts....

Suzanne Posted: Jun 04, 2002 06:53 PM

Re: LIWeddings.com- problem with this board

i personally like brides being able to post on this board.. if i read something a vendor responded to and want to add my own comments or questions i have to start a new thread.. this was is much more convienient..

Music by Michael Posted: Jun 04, 2002 09:22 PM

Re: LIWeddings.com- problem with this board

Bride 02...

I guess the issue for me isn't really questioning or commenting but more the manner in which one expresses the content. My only point is that I believe it to be obvious that in the post in question, one bride's comments were unquestionably negative without due cause. Of what significant value were the comments? Of course, every bride assesses their financial situation and chooses whomever fits the bill. I guess my concern is that I think that many brides have benefited from many vendors who provide responses. Some vendors no longer post and I think it is obvious why they no longer do so... I'd like to think that most brides benefit not only from what other brides post, but what vendors post as well. I think it would be disappointing if the negativity discourages vendor participation.

Best wishes to all!

michele31 Posted: Jun 06, 2002 11:11 PM

Re: LIWeddings.com- problem with this board

I don't think that brides should post on this site actually. I find it confusing. Vendors are allowed to post any ad type material they want on this side, and even though I hate self-hype posts, brides should NOT be allowed to critized posts here. Just my opinion, of course.

tarakinspa Posted: Jun 07, 2002 12:30 AM

Re: LIWeddings.com- problem with this board

Professionals should be able to handle constructive criticism of sales tactics, my comment was not made to start a banter of controversy but to help a bride, (who appreciated my comments) so I like that i had the opportunity to respond. It may get a little confusing though I actually hadnt even realized I was posting on the vendor side oops.

tarakinspa Posted: Jun 07, 2002 12:33 AM

Re: LIWeddings.com- problem with this board

btw the photographer who the comment was in repsonse to in the first place was professional about it by not responding negatively as you sir.

bnjoyful Posted: Jun 07, 2002 08:46 AM

Re: LIWeddings.com- problem with this board

LI Weddings-
Brides should not be able to post on the vendor board. Why bother having a separate vendor board then?
I agree with Music by Michael. It's bad enough when vendors post on the bride's board...they get attacked and probably justifiably so. But to have brides post on this board too gives the vendors no open forum...they will constantly be wary of brides attacking them and possibly not use the site often. I think it would be counterproductive to allow brides to post here.
What is your reasoning for allowing brides to post here? I'm curious.

Angelica Studios Posted: Jun 07, 2002 08:47 AM

Re: LIWeddings.com- problem with this board

Yes Tarakinspa, your comment did not need a response from me because what you said was absolutely true (for those that it applied to.) Obviously, I only want to work with those people who are so thrilled with our work that they are willing to adjust their concepts of how to budget for it (since it DOES cost more to have two qualified photographers and 1000 proofs.)

One problem with these chat boards is that either we have to be so careful so as not to offend anyone that we become boringly generic, or we understand that some people will love, some will hate, most won't care, and it's impossible to say just the right thing that will please everyone; and so we must understand that people WILL misunderstand intent or misinterpret details or judge unfairly and jump to conclusions that may or may not be justified (I've sure had my share of all of it!)

I've learned to be more careful in expressing my personal views (although appreciated by some; judged negatively by too many) and to realize that my communications (which are mostly meant to be received by those that appreciate what I have to say) are misinterpreted too easily by those who wouldn't hire me in the first place (although I don't understand the anger and resentment that are often expressed by people who simply aren't in my client base and choose not to hire me.)

There is, of course, a photographer (or any vendor) for everyone. Not all of us appeal to everyone and most of us have a niche that we specialize in.

What 'Music by Michael' said is absolutely true. When we are attacked for expressing our opinions or sales tactics or anything (again, not your comments Tarakinspa) the ensuing negative comments are downright horrifying! That's why this Vendor Board was created. I've learned not even to comment or respond and it eventually dies out (even when the comments are extraordinarily unfair and unjustified and sometimes prompted by an innocent simple unconscious misinterpreted slip that is not meant to harm in any way and yet is reacted to with extreme resentment by someone who's buttons were inadvertantly pushed.)

The bottom line is as Tarakinspa and Michael both said. We should all welcome comments and viewpoints that are menat to help either the brides or the vendors. The key word here is “help.” (rather than attack and harm)

michele31 Posted: Jun 07, 2002 09:49 AM

Re: LIWeddings.com- problem with this board

Just to clarify- I didn't start this thread because of any previous threads on the Vendor board. I honestly started it because I have been using liweddings.com for almost a year and brides were never allowed to post on the vendor's board before.

I think there was some controversay somewhere about this, and I was not replying because of that.

But I will say for the record that I love when vendors offer real advise and not advertisments. For instance if a bride asks for help picking a place in Eastern Suffolk for formals answering 'please look at our website for wonderful examples of our photographers in Eastern Suffolk' is not an answer to the question. The name of the park you use is.

Anyway I am going to let liweddings.com make their own decision about this matter.

Music by Michael Posted: Jun 07, 2002 09:58 AM

Re: LIWeddings.com- problem with this board

Tarakinspa,

As you felt the need to provide your comments on the vendor side, so too may a vendor 'desire' to reply on the bride side. Vendors, for the most part, do not because they respect bride's wishes to keep that side truly a 'bride's helping bride's' forum. I simply believe that the same courtesy should be afforded to the vendors on the vendor side. As indicated in my original response, my thought is that commentary and/or criticisms are best placed on the bride side. I would like to address your comment about 'accepting criticism.' I have no problem accepting criticism nor do I believe that my colleagues have a problem with such expression. My reason for participation on this board is to provide assistance when I can and offer potential brides an opportunity to explore my offerings as many have been interested in my product. Each vendor has a different personality, style, expertise, etc. and this is what makes this industry so interesting. I've been serving this industry over twenty years and realize that my offerings/opinions/style, etc. are not best matched for every bride, nor do I desire to work for every bride that walks through my door. It's about finding a match... and this board is quite helpful to many brides. I hope it stays that way.

Regards,

Michael

Sonicstef Posted: Jun 07, 2002 10:36 AM

Re: LIWeddings.com- problem with this board

I think brides should be able to reply on the vendor board - merely because of logisitcs.

If I start a thread and 2 vendors reply, I might have some additional questions to them that I would like answered in the thread.

There is no way to automatically disable a brides ability to post when she is posting negatively or attacking a vendor - so I think leaving it as is with the hopes that everyone will be on their best behavior makes the most sense. Just my opinion.

Music by Michael Posted: Jun 07, 2002 11:49 AM

Re: LIWeddings.com- problem with this board

I would agree with Sonicstef that a follow-up 'question' could be helpful and I would certainly have no objection... It's the personal 'commentary/opinion/criticism' that I believe is best placed on the 'bride' board.

tarakinspa Posted: Jun 07, 2002 12:25 PM

Re: LIWeddings.com- problem with this board

Well you are right, this board is mean to help brides...not vendors, so I do think it makes sense for vendors not to comment on the bride side but if a comment is to be made following a particular post following a vendor it wouldnt flow if it was placed seperatly on the bride side.

Second, the customer is always right.
as long as there are no personal attacks etc.
I was not attacking anyone, it was an opinion meant to be taken as so, the comment made was to the bride, and to maybe make vendors more sensitive to the fact that we arent made of money and it is very hard for some of us. I am surprised that professionals would even go to this extreme when the young girls are the ones it would be more fitting to do so. Mark obviosly understands where I was coming from and also understands how it feels to be attacked for making a comment. I made no mention of the quality or personality of this vendor who I have no experience with anyway, that would be out of line but my comment was a generalized statement and not directed toward a particular vendor more just addressing the issue at hand and was warranted.

I like having the opportunity to voice my opinion and should continue to have the opportunity to do so.

Sonicstef Posted: Jun 07, 2002 01:45 PM

Re: LIWeddings.com- problem with this board

I think this whole thing has blown out of proportion....

We are all right!

Yes, this board is meant to help brides. And having vendors participate thoughtfully does help brides. So if brides come here and attack vendors - that is not in the general bride population's best interest since the good vendors won't participate.

Having said that, I don't think that means that all brides should be excluded from commenting. Just as we have to put up with an occassional vendor acting inappropriately on the other side, there might be a case where a bride acts inappropriately here.

We are all adults. Limiting access seems like it might complicate matter unnecessarily. No sin has been committed, just a series of misunderstandings. Nww that its all cleared up I don't think there will be further problems.

Ok - off my soap box :D

Music by Michael Posted: Jun 07, 2002 02:08 PM

Re: LIWeddings.com- problem with this board

I'll offer one final comment on this topic in response to Tarakinspa...

LIWeddings.com is in all likelihood a business venture, not an altruistic service to enlighten brides. Vendors pay fees to advertise and this revenue supports activities of the board. I would bet that it would cease to exist without vendor support.

I beg to differ with the comment that 'the customer is always right.' It is never really a question of right or wrong, just a difference of opinion. That is what truly makes this world an interesting place to live. Don't think for a moment that every vendor is interested in every offer that comes across a table. If I feel that a bride is seeking something that I cannot or prefer not to offer, I will make a referral to another vendor who I feel will best meet the needs of that potential bride. For me, it's not about the 'sale.'

Allow me to recant a brief experience... At a recent showcase I had a bride attempt to engage me in an argument because she asked about negotiating a price and I responded that my fees are non-negotiable. She continued on in an agitated manner, shouting that I was supposed to negotiate my prices and that is why brides attend these showcases... to get the best deal possible. Well, when she finally got it out of her system and left, the remaining five or six brides who witnessed this began laughing, amazed at what they had just seen. None of these brides felt that the agitated bride was 'right' but conversely made a fool out of herself. It was my calm response that secured several bookings that evening.

This bride had every right to want to negotiate my fee. I have every right to decline. The point is that I recognize that my style or personality may not match all brides and that is okay. I have no interest in changing my principles, methodology, etc. for the sake of booking a wedding.

Based on what I've been reading, I recognize that this response may be viewed by some as 'arrogant' but it is intended only to inform. I can appreciate that those offended will probably not be considering Music by Michael if they have yet to make their entertainment plans... so be it...

Best Wishes to All...

Photography by Verdi Posted: Jun 10, 2002 11:29 AM

Re: LIWeddings.com- problem with this board

Just wanted to say that I too agree with the statement that many vendors do shy away from printing anything at all for fear of retaliation by brides. If you say something that goes against the norm, you can create a situation where you are black balled. I believe in freedom of speech. If someone posts a question and a vendor wants to reply, you read his post and you make a decision for youself as to whether this fits you or not. When the bride asked for options from vendors, in this case, photographers, a photographer posted his solution to her problem. She could read it, agree with it, or disagree. I didn't think the following comment made by the bride was necessary either, because it didn't give this bride a solution, but rather just knocked what the photographer was offering. The bride asked for options. Early on, my husband posted on the bride's side by sheer accident. We had just started advertising and he didn't realize what side he was on. He was criticized over and over again by brides for what truly was an accident. He hadn't even said anything offensive, just answered a question. After that, we stayed away from responding. Vendors work very hard to build up a business from referrals. I know many vendors who carry extra things with them in case of accidents on 'the day'. Not for any reason other than to be helpful to our brides and grooms. We want nothing but the best for them. We take our business very seriously and truly enjoy what we do. There was a post on the other side labeling all, in this case, photographers, sleazy. That is not a fair comment, and we feel does not help anyone. Like Sonicstef said, let's behave maturally and help one another. There is enough work out there for everyone.