What the Reception gratutity actually goes towards??

My friends brother has a job parking cars at a well known reception facility . He said they get their paycheck and whatever tips guests give them - but they never see anything from what's 'included' in the 17% grat. He said same goes for bartenders.

What does this HUGE chunk of $$ cover?

I'm tipping the maitre 'd, bridal attendant, & now valet & bar (so there are no tip cups & guests don't pull out their wallets)...

...it seems like we pay ALL this $$ plus built in grats. & still have to pay more $$...ughh

Oh! And when I called my facility they said the vallet, waiters, bar staff... is all included...but I've heard otherwise from the staff?

I'm so confused!

This kind of thing is a pet peeve of mine.

First of all, if it is not optional it is NOT a 'gratuity,' it's a mandatory additional service fee.

Here's Merriam-Webster:

Main Entry: gra·tu·ity
Pronunciation: gr&-'tü-&-tE, -'tyü-
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural -ities
: something given voluntarily or beyond obligation usually for some service; especially : TIP

You are never under any obligation to tip anyone, no matter what anyone tells you, on this board or anywhere else. Tipping is optional, and should be a reward for good service.

In American culture we tip a lot, but there is much much less tipping in Europe. (By the way I'm the most generous tipper I know, but that's another story.)

I really think brides and grooms can be taken advantage of because you are excited and often inexperienced with business negotiations. People who quote a price and then hit you with such a 'gratuity' are playing not-nice games with you.

So- If you've signed the contract and it says you pay this 'gratuity,' you are stuck. What management does with it is pocket it, or most of it, and you can't do anything about that.

If you have not yet signed this contract, you can walk away or demand that the 'gratuity' be removed, on the grounds that you have evidence that it is not being used for its implied purpose.

People in negotiations for anything -- cars, houses, wedding services -- need to be alert to the possiblity of tacked-on fees. Try to clarify all of that before you ever sit down to sign.

My two cents!
--Karla.