to gift or not to gift?

DH's friend is throwing a first communion party for his son (he's 12 years old, i *think*) AND a high school graduation party for his daughter on the same day .... we aren't going to the actual communion at the church, just the party afterwards.

Do we need to bring a communion gift? If so, what is a good gift idea? i don't know how these things work at all!

What's a good graduation gift for the girl?

I know it's pretty cheap-a$$, but we only want to spend around $20 on each kid.

TIA

absolutely need to bring a gift for both

$20 is a bit low in my opinion (dont hate me)

the minimum i would do is 50$ each..on a visa gift card or something

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Posted by grkbarbie

absolutely need to bring a gift for both

$20 is a bit low in my opinion (dont hate me)

the minimum i would do is 50$ each..on a visa gift card or something

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I agree-- I would do at least $50 as well. Either a gift card or check is good.

i totally agree that 20 is not enough .... but we just can't afford to go if we need to give $50 to each .... do you think we should just rsvp no?

This is DH's really good friend but, because of weird & crappy schedules, they haven't seen each other in motnhs ...

I totally understand where you are coming from.

I would def give a physical gift instead of a gift card. You might be able to find something on sale and then no one needs to know how much you spent on it.

maybe you can find a gift card that's like discounted? LIke -a $50 gc but you only pay $35? they have websites for that.

but yes, it should be $50/child.

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Posted by AwaitingAugust

i totally agree that 20 is not enough .... but we just can't afford to go if we need to give $50 to each .... do you think we should just rsvp no?

This is DH's really good friend but, because of weird & crappy schedules, they haven't seen each other in motnhs ...

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Yeah, I'd probably just RSVP no. I hate to do it, but you can't do everything!

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Posted by jilliibabii

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Posted by AwaitingAugust

i totally agree that 20 is not enough .... but we just can't afford to go if we need to give $50 to each .... do you think we should just rsvp no?

This is DH's really good friend but, because of weird & crappy schedules, they haven't seen each other in motnhs ...

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Yeah, I'd probably just RSVP no. I hate to do it, but you can't do everything!

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what if i buy them something that SEEMS expensive but isn't? Like get the girl a necklace from ruelala or something? (though i don't see any good jewelry right now anywhere) .... perhaps taht'd work? i'd really like to go, but just don't want to break the bank

How about something like this for the girl

necklace

and its only $15

and the boy - maybe you can get him a Game Stop gift card

ETA- you can probably get some kind of silver jewelry for the girl for $20

I agree with the others. Definitely $50 cash or check for the communion. As for the graduation, you can get a necklace and personalized frame or something. Communions, in my family, can compare to a wedding...

If you can't afford gifts, which has happened to all of us, than just RSVP no and send a little something when you have it

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Posted by CarolAnn721
Communions, in my family, can compare to a wedding...

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i totally understand but i don't think these people feel that way since it's at their house, not an RH

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Posted by AwaitingAugust

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Posted by CarolAnn721
Communions, in my family, can compare to a wedding...

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i totally understand but i don't think these people feel that way since it's at their house, not an RH

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Compare it to a Bar Mitzvah. But you can totally get away with gifts instead of cash

I know it's not $20 but for the communion kid you can get them a $50 savings bond...then you're just spending $25.

I do agree with Barb that $20 is a little low to spend but hopefully they understand your financial situation.

For the girl I would say any kind of gift cert would be PERFECT!

I think you should give them something you think they'd like in the price range that you can afford. They're your friends. They invited you because they want you there, not because they want to collect gifts for the kiddos.

I'm sure if the tables were turned and you invited them to a party at your house, and they were not able to spend as much as they'd like to on a gift, you wouldn't be bothered in the least!

You give what you can give. I think the other girls had some great suggestions for nice and affordable gifts.

If the girl is planning to away to college, maybe get something for her dorm from BBB and use a coupon?

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Posted by kris_gets_hitched

I think you should give them something you think they'd like in the price range that you can afford. They're your friends. They invited you because they want you there, not because they want to collect gifts for the kiddos.

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ITA

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Posted by grkbarbie

absolutely need to bring a gift for both

$20 is a bit low in my opinion (dont hate me)

the minimum i would do is 50$ each..on a visa gift card or something

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I agree!

I agree that $20 each is really low... For baptisms/communions/confirmations I usually do $50. HS Graduations I always give at least $100, more depending on who it is. If you can't swing that I would either RSVP no or do a Savings Bond for at least $50 each so it would only run you $25 each.

I wouldn't do jewlery for the teenager because everyone's taste is different and you don't know what she likes/doesn't like. I remember being younger and my aunt always gave me jewlery and I HATED it because she didn't know what I liked.