What do you guys think about pregnancy before owning a home?

What do you want more, kids or a house?

Fh and I had this debate and decided to rent a house until we can afford one. We want to have kids sooner than later.

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Posted by MayBride06

Why is our generation like this? Years ago you built a life around family and then material things came with time. Many of our parents did not own a home when they got married. It makes me want to scream when I hear people say they want to get a house first before they have a family. Well guess what...it's OKAY to not have a house and have a baby. I am not getting any younger and I would hate to say I waited too long to have my family. What good is having a big house if you are unable to fill it with children because you waited too long??? Okay...vent over!!!!!

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I agree. I would chose the baby before the house...a baby will bring a kind of love that NO house could ever bring...and trust me once the baby is here..you will eventually get a house too..if thats what you really want..youll get it

i want the stability and financial security of a house before i get pregnant

that being said - if that doesnt happen within two years ( which doesnt seem likely) i am going for the baby first!

the 'problem' that my brother AND sister have encountered is that my sister and SIL had to stop working - so they are 'stuck' in apartments. . .

they both said that if they could do it over again they would have struggled, bought a house THEN started having kids. . . that is why i definitely want a house first BUT i am not 'putting it all on hold' forever!

also - my parents came from another country AND got a house before they started their family, we all grew up in a house with a backyard - and i want to provide the same for my children some day! if its not right away, i will be disappointed but that is life!

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Posted by ant n tilde

i want the stability and financial security of a house before i get pregnant

that being said - if that doesnt happen within two years ( which doesnt seem likely) i am going for the baby first!

the 'problem' that my brother AND sister have encountered is that my sister and SIL had to stop working - so they are 'stuck' in apartments. . .

they both said that if they could do it over again they would have struggled, bought a house THEN started having kids. . . that is why i definitely want a house first BUT i am not 'putting it all on hold' forever!

also - my parents came from another country AND got a house before they started their family, we all grew up in a house with a backyard - and i want to provide the same for my children some day! if its not right away, i will be disappointed but that is life!

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How old are you? Are you in your twenties? I think I would hold off a bit if I was younger but since I am not...it's a much different story.

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Posted by MayBride06

Why is our generation like this? Years ago you built a life around family and then material things came with time. Many of our parents did not own a home when they got married. It makes me want to scream when I hear people say they want to get a house first before they have a family. Well guess what...it's OKAY to not have a house and have a baby. I am not getting any younger and I would hate to say I waited too long to have my family. What good is having a big house if you are unable to fill it with children because you waited too long??? Okay...vent over!!!!!

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i think it depends on your age and priorities, which generally change with age.

for me, i of course want a stable job (or some sort of stable income) before i have kids so i can provide the basic necessities for them. after that's secured i'd like a house first. it'd be nice to have some time to just me and fh in our own house. then i want kids. of course i'm only 22. i don't think i'm ready to have kids yet. once i feel ready for kids, i'll go for it whether i have a house or not.

you post was a little... i dunno, i was kind of insulted a little. just because people want a house first doesn't make it wrong. if they have the time and drive, go for it. i wouldn't not have kids b/c i was renting, but if you decide to wait a few years you shouldn't be shot down.

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Posted by betani

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Posted by MayBride06

Why is our generation like this? Years ago you built a life around family and then material things came with time. Many of our parents did not own a home when they got married. It makes me want to scream when I hear people say they want to get a house first before they have a family. Well guess what...it's OKAY to not have a house and have a baby. I am not getting any younger and I would hate to say I waited too long to have my family. What good is having a big house if you are unable to fill it with children because you waited too long??? Okay...vent over!!!!!

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i think it depends on your age and priorities, which generally change with age.

for me, i of course want a stable job (or some sort of stable income) before i have kids so i can provide the basic necessities for them. after that's secured i'd like a house first. it'd be nice to have some time to just me and fh in our own house. then i want kids. of course i'm only 22. i don't think i'm ready to have kids yet. once i feel ready for kids, i'll go for it whether i have a house or not.

you post was a little... i dunno, i was kind of insulted a little. just because people want a house first doesn't make it wrong. if they have the time and drive, go for it. i wouldn't not have kids b/c i was renting, but if you decide to wait a few years you shouldn't be shot down.

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Not meant to offend you at all and if I did...I am sorry. But that was not the point of my statement. It's just that being in my early thirties and having people make comments all of the time about waiting to have kids until we have a house...it is just ridiculous. How you want your life to be no one should judge no matter what. If you are able to get a house before you plan a family, more power to you! You are lucky, time is on your side!

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Posted by MayBride06

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Posted by betani

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Posted by MayBride06

Why is our generation like this? Years ago you built a life around family and then material things came with time. Many of our parents did not own a home when they got married. It makes me want to scream when I hear people say they want to get a house first before they have a family. Well guess what...it's OKAY to not have a house and have a baby. I am not getting any younger and I would hate to say I waited too long to have my family. What good is having a big house if you are unable to fill it with children because you waited too long??? Okay...vent over!!!!!

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i think it depends on your age and priorities, which generally change with age.

for me, i of course want a stable job (or some sort of stable income) before i have kids so i can provide the basic necessities for them. after that's secured i'd like a house first. it'd be nice to have some time to just me and fh in our own house. then i want kids. of course i'm only 22. i don't think i'm ready to have kids yet. once i feel ready for kids, i'll go for it whether i have a house or not.

you post was a little... i dunno, i was kind of insulted a little. just because people want a house first doesn't make it wrong. if they have the time and drive, go for it. i wouldn't not have kids b/c i was renting, but if you decide to wait a few years you shouldn't be shot down.

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Not meant to offend you at all and if I did...I am sorry. But that was not the point of my statement. It's just that being in my early thirties and having people make comments all of the time about waiting to have kids until we have a house...it is just ridiculous. How you want your life to be no one should judge no matter what. If you are able to get a house before you plan a family, more power to you! You are lucky, time is on your side!

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eh, it's ok. i sorta knew what you were saying but still got frustrated. ah moodiness... =0P sorry if i offended you. =0)

but yeah, i would never put my life on hold for something like that, but if you have the time/money/etc. go for it. =0)

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Posted by betani


]

Not meant to offend you at all and if I did...I am sorry. But that was not the point of my statement. It's just that being in my early thirties and having people make comments all of the time about waiting to have kids until we have a house...it is just ridiculous. How you want your life to be no one should judge no matter what. If you are able to get a house before you plan a family, more power to you! You are lucky, time is on your side!

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eh, it's ok. i sorta knew what you were saying but still got frustrated. ah moodiness... =0P sorry if i offended you. =0)

but yeah, i would never put my life on hold for something like that, but if you have the time/money/etc. go for it. =0)

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No offense taken sweetie!!

I did EVERYTHING backwards.

I will admit that I didn't get pregnant on purpose... but I figured that if I wait until everything is 'ready' I may never have kids!

Two children later we finally were able to buy a house. And we did.

NOW we are getting married.

I have known too many people who wait...

until they have a nice house
until they have enough money in the bank
until they have a different job
until they can travel to every country in Europe...

Then they wake up... at 45... and say 'I AM READY!' but their body doesn't want to cooperate anymore.

Do what feels right for you. Life has a way of working with you.

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Posted by rojerono

I did EVERYTHING backwards.

I will admit that I didn't get pregnant on purpose... but I figured that if I wait until everything is 'ready' I may never have kids!

Two children later we finally were able to buy a house. And we did.

NOW we are getting married.

I have known too many people who wait...

until they have a nice house
until they have enough money in the bank
until they have a different job
until they can travel to every country in Europe...

Then they wake up... at 45... and say 'I AM READY!' but their body doesn't want to cooperate anymore.

Do what feels right for you. Life has a way of working with you.

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Thanks everyone! I actually just turned 26, so it's not really a super rush... But I am so excited to start a family... it's just hard because I want to save for a house. It feels like I have to pick one or the other since they are both so expensive. I won't be putting my life on hold for it, but I would have thought that after a year of renting, we would have been at least closer to buying house. We are in the same position as we this time last year, only we weren't paying rent before we got married! I mean how are we supposed to save for anyhting when we pay rent, school loans, car loans, insurance, etc. UGH!

I am waiting to have a house first, which will be in about a year. I personally don't want to rent and have a family if I don't have too. This is why we will be in my In-laws house for the next year, to save money. It stinks not living on our own, but it is worth the wait.
We are both 26, so I think waiting 2 years is okay. Of course if we had an accident, it would be fine.

The houses on LI are so expensive. With or without children its going to take us a while to save up enough for the one we want. So we decided not to put our life on hold. It really does not matter IMO. BTW, we both have great jobs... NYC fireman and teacher. Though they dont pay very well, were doing quite alright!

We have a great apartment, and 2 incredible kids and are very happy.

If we waited to own a home, we would be ready to be grandparents!!!

Not only do we rent, but our landlord wants to move back to our house in April, when the baby is born... So we have to find a new place to rent after the holodays - 3 bdrms, since he has 2 daughters from his 1st marriage....