For Past Brides - any regrets or mistakes?

I am not sure if this was a topic already but... Are there any major regrets/mistakes that you want to make sure current brides don't make?

Please share :)

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Posted by MrsDrinkh20

Not doing what I wanted as far as my bridal party...I listened to everyone in my family and did 'the right' thing and regretted it. Choose who YOU want to stand by you on the most important day of your life!

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I've already made that mistake.

That's pretty much what prompted me to post this topic - I listened to my mom and asked a girl that I've been friends with for a few years but we've lost touch... I didn't even think to ask her until my mom mentioned her and after I did, regretted it hard core...

Turns out that she's too selfish of a person to be able to give the spotlight to someone else... You know, you think you know a person and then they show their true colors lol

hhmmm.
Bridal party choices is on that list too for me.

Also, I had a trolley and a rolls. the trolley was for the wedding party and the rolls was for us. I liked arriving at the church in the rolls. but I wish I took the trolley to the royalton with the BP. Some BP members got a bit too wasted on the trolley (IDK what they were thinking... some were drinking like there wasn't top shelf open bar at the reception). If we were there it wouldn't have been so out of control. Also It would have been a fun ride... I see the pics of the trolley ride with everyone on it and it just looks soo cute. I wish DH and I were sitting on one of those benches too!

Hmm.. other than that... I would say.... I almost wish I didn't let my mother invite as many people as she did.

OH and a HUGE one for me.... we got married in a church... and didn't want a mass. We were forced to have the mass by our families. We did it to appease them. And It was long, boring and drawn out. And IMHO because of that, I felt it kinda took away from our wedding. I remember sitting there thinking... wow this is the longest shiz ever... will it ever end? That's not what you should be thinking at your wedding!!!! Then when I got the video and watched it..... I thought about how we shouldn't have had that LONG mass!! It was just toooo long and the video shows it!!! So I would DEF change that in a heartbeat!!!! NO MASS... I should have put my foot down.

there were many times that I didn't fight for things because I figured 'OK... if this is what this person (not me or DH) REALLY wants... we can just do it... it's not a big deal and make them happy'. But we SHOULD have just been more selfish about a lot of things and done what WE wanted to do.

And one more... we started to go around all the tables in the beginning of the reception. While there was some good music playing. And while we were going around... I just wanted to run on the dance floor and party. But we kept going around the tables... finally I had enough and I just ran away to the dance floor. In hindsight... I wouldn't have even bothered going to ANY tables... we didn't even make it half way. Each table wanted to stop and take pics and pose and talk and talk and when there's 18+ tables and about 12 pple at each table... it just EATS time. It was just too time consuming. I say... let them meet you on the dance floor!!!!!!

HA! The more I think... the more I come up with.
It's hard because you don't know the things you would have done differently until your day is passed... and by then it's too late to change things.

Oh and about bridal parties.

Usually those people that you end up putting in for purposes of 'doing the right thing' or appeasing someone else (usually a family member) or just to be nice... they don't work out. Those are usually your 'dead weight' bridal party members. Go with your gut and don't listen to anyone else. don't even bother putting them in. Trust me... they probably don't really care about being in it at all anyway.

You want to ONLY have those that ARE close to you AND care a lot about you! If it's super small and you just have 2 or 3 REALLY fabulous people... so be it!! It's a lot better than having 8 or so girls who most of them couldn't care less about being there.

The bridal party really comes into play more on the year of your wedding and increasingly so as the day approaches. So don't pick your BP when you first get engaged. WAIT!! things change. Pick maybe a year ahead of the date. I wish I waited to pick my BP.

I really had some interesting BP members!!!! the things some of them did would shock you!!!!!

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Posted by KerriJohnS

Oh and about bridal parties.

Usually those people that you end up putting in for purposes of 'doing the right thing' or appeasing someone else (usually a family member) or just to be nice... they don't work out. Those are usually your 'dead weight' bridal party members. Go with your gut and don't listen to anyone else. don't even bother putting them in. Trust me... they probably don't really care about being in it at all anyway.

You want to ONLY have those that ARE close to you AND care a lot about you! If it's super small and you just have 2 or 3 REALLY fabulous people... so be it!! It's a lot better than having 8 or so girls who most of them couldn't care less about being there.

The bridal party really comes into play more on the year of your wedding and increasingly so as the day approaches. So don't pick your BP when you first get engaged. WAIT!! things change. Pick maybe a year ahead of the date. I wish I waited to pick my BP.

I really had some interesting BP members!!!! the things some of them did would shock you!!!!!

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Oh gosh, haha now I have to hear the horror stories... If not to only feel better about the situation one of my girls left me in :(

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Posted by MrsDrinkh20

Not doing what I wanted as far as my bridal party...I listened to everyone in my family and did 'the right' thing and regretted it. Choose who YOU want to stand by you on the most important day of your life!

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Not a past bride but, I've already made that mistake

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Posted by coldasice217

I regret actually trying to 'keep up with the Joneses' so to speak, and by that, I mean blindly following what other LIW girls were doing, who they were using, etc. I made a few vendor choices that in the end disappointed me, and I chose them because of the glowing LIW recommendations. Had I gone my own way, I might have chose differently, and the outcomes could have been different. That's not to say I wouldn't have been unhappy with another choice as well, but definitely don't fall in to that trap. If you find a vendor that you like, and no one else here is using them or you can't find any reviews on them...that's not necessarily a bad thing. Pick who you want because you feel good about them, not because 'everyone who's everyone' is using them, so you should too.

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Definitely the best advice so far I've read and 100% true. I try not to read too much into the LIW recommendations because I almost booked a hair/makeup lady that everyone raved about but made me look like a Vegas stripper!!

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Posted by KerriJohnS

You want to ONLY have those that ARE close to you AND care a lot about you! If it's super small and you just have 2 or 3 REALLY fabulous people... so be it!! It's a lot better than having 8 or so girls who most of them couldn't care less about being there.

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Great advice and I'm def following this. I am only having 1 MOH and 2 BM, and only around 50-65 guests. No co-workers and no friends that I havent talked to in ...like ..10 years..

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Posted by coldasice217

I regret actually trying to 'keep up with the Joneses' so to speak, and by that, I mean blindly following what other LIW girls were doing, who they were using, etc. I made a few vendor choices that in the end disappointed me, and I chose them because of the glowing LIW recommendations. Had I gone my own way, I might have chose differently, and the outcomes could have been different. That's not to say I wouldn't have been unhappy with another choice as well, but definitely don't fall in to that trap. If you find a vendor that you like, and no one else here is using them or you can't find any reviews on them...that's not necessarily a bad thing. Pick who you want because you feel good about them, not because 'everyone who's everyone' is using them, so you should too.

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That's really great advice.. Thank you for sharing!!!

BM or MOH give a speech at the wedding...

I would have reviewed the speech before hand....Husband's brother/BM gave such a LONG and embarrassing speech...i regret having him do it!!! That was probably the worst part of the wedding...otherwise everything else was perfect!!

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Posted by cberry109

BM or MOH give a speech at the wedding...

I would have reviewed the speech before hand....Husband's brother/BM gave such a LONG and embarrassing speech...i regret having him do it!!! That was probably the worst part of the wedding...otherwise everything else was perfect!!

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I was thinking about that! and then thought it might sound rude to ask them to 'proof-read' it hahahaha... just kidding, my thought process went more along the lines of 'i want to be surprised' but after reading your advice I think I'll stick to reading it over first ;)

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Posted by KerriJohnS

Oh and about bridal parties.

Usually those people that you end up putting in for purposes of 'doing the right thing' or appeasing someone else (usually a family member) or just to be nice... they don't work out. Those are usually your 'dead weight' bridal party members. Go with your gut and don't listen to anyone else. don't even bother putting them in. Trust me... they probably don't really care about being in it at all anyway.

You want to ONLY have those that ARE close to you AND care a lot about you! If it's super small and you just have 2 or 3 REALLY fabulous people... so be it!! It's a lot better than having 8 or so girls who most of them couldn't care less about being there.

The bridal party really comes into play more on the year of your wedding and increasingly so as the day approaches. So don't pick your BP when you first get engaged. WAIT!! things change. Pick maybe a year ahead of the date. I wish I waited to pick my BP.

I really had some interesting BP members!!!! the things some of them did would shock you!!!!!

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Totally relate with that. I don't expect much of mine other then to show up with their dressed on, but good thing that's all I expect bc that's bascially what I'm getting. I didn't want a shower, though my mother would have thrown me one, so they got out of that but other then that ,there has been 0 done...

hmm. .. I wish I had a friend videotape part of our ceremony . dont really regret not having a videographer but wish I had part of it on film

also just regret getting so anxious about a difference between having a few more guests etc. . we got so stressed about money it ended up being should we invite them. . or not. . and in the end 10 more wouldnt have mattered in a year you know? though I think I was totally happy with the amount and people who were there. .

but other than that I don't regret anything. ..i loved our wedding and was so happy I splurged on our band and loved all our vendors. ..literally there was not ONE I would have changed.. . but I think overall just make your decisions for YOU and FH . . family/friends might voice their opinions but in the end they will live and be happy with whatever happens!

I regret paying that much for the rolls to take us to the bowling alley waste of money and completely unnecessary since we didnt even get pics of us in it or anything.

I wish I thought more about the type of video I really wanted...I thought I was ok with just a simple video when I should have just went all out.

I wish I had thought more about the logistics that morning and planned it out better.

Oh well...