A question for all Newlyweds...

A few questions:

1. How long before you and DH (or DW) want to start trying for kids?

1a - If you don't want kids, why not (if you choose to share with us)

2 - Why are you starting when you are (or why are you choosing not to have kids). Money, Career, Family, Feelings, etc

3 - Do any of you feel pressue from family members.....

I'll start..

1. Probably around our year anniversary if not a little bit later....

2 - We have the money and home...just want to enjoy life being married for awhile.

3 - YES!! From both sides....we are the first on his side to be married and i am the youngest on my side...but we refuse to let that become our reason for it....

Re: A question for all Newlyweds...

1. How long before you and DH (or DW) want to start trying for kids?

Probably about 5 years. I'm only 25 and need to finish grad school and start my career.

1a - If you don't want kids, why not (if you choose to share with us)

2 - Why are you starting when you are (or why are you choosing not to have kids). Money, Career, Family, Feelings, etc

Money and Career.

3 - Do any of you feel pressue from family members.....
Nope, they realize we're young and don't think we have the money to have kids right now.

Re: A question for all Newlyweds...

1. In about a year or two

2. Money, we are trying to save for a house.

3. Oh god yes!!! We are both the youngest and the 1st to get married and there are no grandchildren yet. Since we've gotten married, MIL is always asking if I am pregnant. Little does she know how hard it would be to get pregnant on the pill.
I usually try to laugh it off or make a joke out of it but it can get annoying at times.

ETA: Even if I was pregnant I would want to wait until I felt ready to tell them so I hope I stopped getting interegated soon!

Re: A question for all Newlyweds...

1. How long before you and DH (or DW) want to start trying for kids? we are going to start in mid 2005

1a - If you don't want kids, why not (if you choose to share with us)

2 - Why are you starting when you are (or why are you choosing not to have kids). Money, Career, Family, Feelings, etc
we just bought a house and are re doing it i want it to be completely finished and to be able to recover a lil from all the expensses


- Do any of you feel pressue from family members.....
no i am oen of 5 and my mom has grand kids already and dh has a sister that has two kids
so there is no pressure on either side for us to have children

Re: A question for all Newlyweds...

1. How long before you and DH (or DW) want to start trying for kids? We started trying on our honeymoon. I think I want to wait til about March 2005 now because I don't want to be so pregnant over the summer

1a - If you don't want kids, why not (if you choose to share with us)

2 - Why are you starting when you are (or why are you choosing not to have kids). Money, Career, Family, Feelings, etc- My DH husband is a little older than I am. I also want the option of having a lot of children so I should start pretty soon. We are homeowners and have good careers so I don't feel the need to wait.

3 - Do any of you feel pressue from family members..... Nope.

Re: A question for all Newlyweds...

1. How long before you and DH (or DW) want to start trying for kids?

About 2 years

2 - Why are you starting when you are (or why are you choosing not to have kids). Money, Career, Family, Feelings, etc

We are still looking for the house and we also want to enjoy being married w/o children (we would wait the same amout of time if we had already found the house)

3 - Do any of you feel pressue from family members.....Not at all. My mother completely agrees with our decision (they waited 5 years to have me for the same reason).
My SIL thinks we'll be pg within the first year. But that's only because she thinks that I'll get the baby itch since we're married now. (I think that's what happened with them.)

I do feel like having a baby now at times, but it passes. I really enjoy living with my DH for the first time and getting to know each other (in the way that you can only do when you live together). A baby would complicate that.

Re: A question for all Newlyweds...

1. How long before you and DH (or DW) want to start trying for kids?
At least 3 years, as long as 5. I am 23 so I want to try to have at lease 2 before I am 30.

1a - If you don't want kids, why not (if you choose to share with us)

2 - Why are you starting when you are (or why are you choosing not to have kids). Money, Career, Family, Feelings, etc
Well, we just got our house and are in the process of fixing it up. Then we still need some time alone together for vacations and stuff like that. Also I want to be able to stay at home at least p/t if not f/t when we have kids so that might mean me changing careers (something like a nurse so I can work three 12 hour days), but I am not sure about any of this yet!

3 - Do any of you feel pressue from family members.....
Not pressure, but both sets of parents make it known that they can't wait for us to have kids, but they know we want to wait and are OK with it... excpet for my grandfather. I am the oldest of his grandchildren and some of his golfing buddies granddaughters and pregnant. he keeps saying that he wants to be a greatgrandfather too, and can I try to make him a greatgrandfather before he dies He is kinda joking but that makes me want kids sooner, you know?

Re: A question for all Newlyweds...

1. How long before you and DH (or DW) want to start trying for kids?
ABout a year and a half..more or less.


1a - If you don't want kids, why not (if you choose to share with us)

There was a short while, where i didn't want to have children. I see the stress and pressure it puts on people and that scared me sooo much. BUT after watching one of my best friends have her son..I changed my mind..

2 - Why are you starting when you are (or why are you choosing not to have kids). Money, Career, Family, Feelings, etc

We want to get a house first! I don't want to be pregnant here in our condo or while we are moving and fixing up our new home
Plus we want a year to be 'married'. Just ebing the two of us..

3 - Do any of you feel pressue from family members?
Not from family members but EVERYBODY ELSE!! I get the most pressure from people at work and some from friends. I am 31 and the general feeling is that i should be starting ASAP..
This actually is a very sore subject for me

Re: A question for all Newlyweds...

1. Probably 3 years
2. School, Career, Money, House
3. No

Re: A question for all Newlyweds...

1. How long before you and DH (or DW) want to start trying for kids?

I am 29 and DH is 30. We are thinking maybe in 2 years or so. I am not really sure. I don't have the 'maternal feeling: at all, hopefully that will come in time.

2 - Why are you starting when you are (or why are you choosing not to have kids). Money, Career, Family, Feelings, etc

I would say we are not starting because we both don't have the feeling that we want to start. Also,we want more of a nest egg to fall back on, so saving over the next 2 to 3 years is important.

3 - Do any of you feel pressue from family members.....
No, not really.

Re: A question for all Newlyweds...

A few questions:

1. How long before you and DH (or DW) want to start trying for kids? 3-5 years. I am 26, and want to finish my doctorate first, which I will in 3 years. I also still feel too young--there is too much I want to do for me first, before I have kids and they will be a priority in every aspect of my life (as I know I will treat them when I do have them--I want to be as good a mother as my mother was to me--there constantly, and we were always a priority). We also want to travel extensively, and I know we won't have the time or money to do so when we have kids. We also live in a one bedroom condo, and I want to have a nest egg and at least a 3 bedroom house before we have kids.

2 - Why are you starting when you are (or why are you choosing not to have kids). Money, Career, Family, Feelings, etc

See above--feelings, money, career

3 - Do any of you feel pressue from family members.....

My family actively wants us to wait because they want me to have the opportunity to finish my doctorate since it was something I always wanted, as well as have the money to have a decent life when we do have kids, and provide them with the opportunities I had (my mother is already saying 'you will have to send them to private school' ) . Actually, they would think I was an idiot if I got pregnant now. There was some talk of it/pressure from his side, but I think since they are having grandkids by my SIL butterflybride this summer a lot of the pressure is off of us ;)

Re: A question for all Newlyweds...

1. How long before you and DH (or DW) want to start trying for kids?

about 2 years. i am going to be 27 and dh is 31. while i always wanted to be a young mom, i also just started my career and while i would love to be a mom now, i know i need to wait.


2 - Why are you starting when you are (or why are you choosing not to have kids). Money, Career, Family, Feelings, etc

we also need to kind of wait to dh to settle in his career. we would love to buy a house at some point as well. but we both feel that there are so many things up in the air. if it happens, well, it happens, but we know we need to wait a bit longer.
3 - Do any of you feel pressue from family members.....
yeah...from my side. but from his side, they'd think we were idiots if we got pregnant. don't even ask!

Re: A question for all Newlyweds...

1. How long before you and DH (or DW) want to start trying for kids?

3+ years.


2 - Why are you starting when you are (or why are you choosing not to have kids). Money, Career, Family, Feelings, etc

Emotionally we are just not where we need to be! And financially we both want the option for me to be home at least part time and right now after just buying a house, we still need more time to be in a better place financially.
And honestly I am just not ready to give of my self in that way!

3 - Do any of you feel pressue from family members.....

NONE. I just lost my mom, so I think thats part of it! Everyone understands that we just couldnt emotionally handle it at this time! Also on DHs side there have been 2 new additions to the family and we have 5 neices and nephews so there is no rush for more! And on my side we have 2 so its not as if there are NO grandchildren!
I figure we have about a year from NOW until we start getting the family questions and pressure!

Re: A question for all Newlyweds...

We are not having any children. I already have a daughter who will be 23 in March. She was one of my BM. My DH never wanted children so since I didn't want to start all over when I had one just about out the door it worked out perfectly. I had my tubes tied a year before we got married so that we didn't have to worry about BC.

Re: A question for all Newlyweds...

1. we are trying

2. we are ready emotionally, financially and mentally

3. my side wants us to have a baby but they have no influence in our decision making

Re: A question for all Newlyweds...

1. We are currently trying - I am 33 and already have a 6 year old from a previous relationship.

2. We are ready in every way - financially maybe not - but then again I wasn't ready at all with my son - he was an 'oops' but now after going through that -i believe things have a way of working themselves out.

3. No real 'pressure' but I know his mom wants a grandchild!

Re: A question for all Newlyweds...

DH and I are not planning on having any kids. I feel its just not for me and DH is ok with that.

Yes we are getting pressure from both sides to have kids they think we are kidding when we say we are not planning to have any.

Re: A question for all Newlyweds...

1) Around 3 years
2) Money, Career, School, No house yet, Just not ready
3) Some pressure from my mom.....she said she would like to see us have our first before I am 30. I do not think that will be happening. My DH will probably be ready before I am too. I know we are both just to selfish right now and to start having kids would be wrong for us at this time.

Re: A question for all Newlyweds...

1. How long before you and DH (or DW) want to start trying for kids?

probably another 3-4 years


2 - Why are you starting when you are (or why are you choosing not to have kids).

i'm scared to death of being a parent. i never really liked kids (i still don't like other people's kids but i like my nieces and nephews). i don't know anything about babies. i think i've only changed one diaper in my entire life. dh doesn't really know much either.

we also don't have the money right now. and we'll need a bigger place to live. hopefully a house, but even a bigger apartment would do the trick.

3 - Do any of you feel pressue from family members.....

not from my side, my sister and brother each have two kids. so my parents are very busy with their four grandchildren. on his side i know his parents would love for us to have kids especially since his brother is autistic and will probably never have children. but they know we are not ready and so don't really say anything..... yet.....

Re: A question for all Newlyweds...

1. How long before you and DH (or DW) want to start trying for kids? 2 years

2 - Why are you starting when you are (or why are you choosing not to have kids). We want to have some time to ourselves, and to build up some money in the savings for when I am out of work.

3 - Do any of you feel pressue from family members..... No, no pressure, thank God!!