After your wedding did any of your relationships change...

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Posted by jeffamanda080808

One of DH's close friends only RSVPd as 1 instead of 2, because his wife didn't want to pay for a sitter. Then literally 45 mins before DH got in the limo the day of the wedding, his friend called him and told him he couldn't come because his wife didn't want to be home with their 3 kids, but he needed our address so he could 'take care of' us. 68 days later...still nothing in our mail box. DH is so hurt, I'm not a fan of the wife either way, but seriously...if I am at a party and they are there...I will not be the one to make an effort to say hello first. But that's just me.

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I don't blame you for feeling that way!!!!!!!!!!
That's the absolute worst when they say they will send something but do nothing...why do people do that?!

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Posted by gemmifer

Yes - but this is really common. I think I gave you advise in the past. Just store it , and put that relationship in perspective and move fwd twds individuals that you feel gave you and your DH the respect and acknowledgment entering into your new life together.

Again - this person might be having a hard time financially and it could be embarrassing for them or something major is going on and they might have had good intentions but 'your gift' is not taking #1 priority right now. They could just make it up to you - they do have a year!

Try to keep your chin up about it and try not to take it to personal , I would call this person and see if everything is o.k - re access it after that in time. Weddings can teach you who your friends REALLY are I am afraid.

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Thanks Gemmifer You did give me advice before which I really appreciated. ITA with moving forward and spending more time and energy with people that (we feel) gave us more respect and well wishes. It might take me a little more time though to pick up the phone (I know how that sounds, it's just me ) although I know I probably will at some point. Come to think of it, I haven't heard from her either in a while though.

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Posted by jessnstu08

One BM did not give a gift or card and brought a stranger to the wedding, even though she knew plenty of people. It wasn't a boyfriend it was a guy she is friends with. I didn't mind that much at the time

I didn't say anything , and when I came home from my honeymoon she sent me an email that said - ' oh BTW I reserve my right to give a gift up until a year after the wedding, so no you didn't loose the card' - reserve your right? um ok

I am still annoyed with her approach in the matter and the relationship changed even before the wedding , she s*cked as a bridesmaid.

A few coworkers of DH gave neither a gift or card. I am waiting it out, but as far as we are both concerned the social relationship is over .

I had one coworker who I used to be extremely close with not come and her reason was so lame . I will NEVER talk to her again and I am still ANGRY over it

I have a few people who completely cheaped out as far as im concerned and I am very aware of their economic situation. That's ok though, I have an opportunity to return the favor. I never thought I would be tit for tat, but this wedding has taught me a lot about people.

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I know what you mean...

Nothing is going to change with me and ALMOST every guest who didn't give a gift. I just wanted them to come - that's it.

BUT - my GODFATHER was a NO SHOW and then called my parents for my address and never sent me anything. There are two disclaimers to this. One - he DEMANDED to be my Godfather when I was born and then other than buying me my crib, he's been completely absentee throughout my life. TWO - he's a multi-millionaire, and in the past has thought his $$ can make up for his lack of presence. Now he sends neither (though to be honest, I don't want his stupid, thoughtless, meaningless cash).

He showed up to my sweet 16 and said 'I forgot my checkbook, but you can take my mercedes for a drive to make up for it.' At my college graduation party, he showed up for five minutes and didn't even have a card, handed me a crumpled up (but generous) check from his pocket. Then for the wedding, he had a 'crisis in Panama' where he has some real estate project going on and couldn't come. Some of my other relatives have mentioned that its total BS - not surprised. No card, no phone call, no congratulations....nothing.

Our relationship is changed, but it's not because I didn't get anything from him, it's because he TRULY doesn't give a sh*t about me and I know it for sure now.