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Am I wrong?

Butterfly123 Posted:

Am I wrong?

yelley77 Posted:

Re: Am I wrong?

You aren't wrong, you are just a miserable, old, married hag.



In all seriousness, if DH REALLY didn't want me to go somewhere and he had a legit reason, I wouldn't go either. I'm sorry she doesn't understand.

Can DH go with you? will that make him feel better? (after cursing you out, do you even want to go?)
Ayne11 Posted:

Re: Am I wrong?

I don't think you're wrong at all. Obviously your friend isn't married or in a relationship, therefore she doesn't understand that sometimes you have to take a step back and take one for the team. She'll get over it, maybe send her an email and tell her how you feel, and site the examples you did in this post, since she's not letting you get a word in edgewise.

Worry about yourself, and your relationship with DH. Like you said if the shoe was on the other foot you wouldn't want him going.
KK Holiday Posted:

Re: Am I wrong?

youre not wrong. maybe the timing was a little off but that shouldnt matter. you dont feel right going when there is going to be a person there who has caused problems with your marriage in the past.

i'm totally on your side. and your friend should be too!! she's in the wrong blowing up at you over this. she has a right to be dissapointed you wont be there but she should UNDERSTAND the circumstance.

good luck!
emomma17 Posted:

Re: Am I wrong?

You are not wrong at all, people have to understand that you aren't 19 anymore and if you can't go you can't go. I believe you don't have to explain why you just can't make it, apologize and give her the gift. It's the end of the story, sorry but I can't stand when people give me a guilt trip for not being able to go somewhere...when the tables are turned I am fully understandable and let them know there is no stress you can't make it you can't make it!

MrsHtobe Posted:

Re: Am I wrong?

Posted by yelley77

You aren't wrong, you are just a miserable, old, married hag.



In all seriousness, if DH REALLY didn't want me to go somewhere and he had a legit reason, I wouldn't go either. I'm sorry she doesn't understand.

Can DH go with you? will that make him feel better? (after cursing you out, do you even want to go?)


My thoughts exactly - I wouldn't really want to go at this point, but maybe if DH came it would be betteR?
Bride908 Posted:

Re: Am I wrong?

You are not wrong. Is this person married? Doesnt sound like it. Sometimes our single friends have a hard time understanding the fact that your no longer one person - your two. Its about comprimise, just like you said. She should understand that and stop being so childish for a moment.

MJDoc12 Posted:

Re: Am I wrong?

i think she's overreacting a bit---does she have issues with your DH? like she doesn't like him or something and you saying you can't go cause your DH isn't comfortable with a person whose gonna b e there....brings up her negative feelings about your DH...like 'oh because HE SAID SO you won't be there for me!?'

not saying its right at all-but her reaction seems a be drama llama. but if a friend cursed me out and started talking sh*t about my husband, you best believe that would be the last words she says to me.

Butterfly123 Posted:

Re: Am I wrong?

yelley77 Posted:

Re: Am I wrong?

Posted by Songstress

Thats what Im saying. My timing ******. But were not teenagers anymore. She might not have a problem lying to her SO but I dont do that. The situation was not good back then. (Not on my part) DH knew this person and I kept from him that this person was being realy flirty and I would brush it off so as not to cause drama between everyone but in the end it bit me in my *** for trying to not cause a rift. She just doesnt get it.
You aren't wrong at all. and if she doesn't understand, then she isn't a good friend.
Toucan311 Posted:

Re: Am I wrong?

What if you said something like, 'I can't go b/c of this ongoing issue, but you're birthday is very important so can I take you out to lunch/dinner/whatever on such and such a day' ?

futuremrsfab Posted:

Re: Am I wrong?

being honest, I would be upset if my friend told me that that was the reason that she wasnt coming.

I would never curse someone out over it though, thats pretty messed up of your friend.

Maybe you two can make plans for a later date and exclude this person? Maybe once your friend calms down like next week or so you can talk about why its upsetting and see if you guys can come to some kind of compromise- seems like this may come up again- if she is friends with that person.
Espo22 Posted:

Re: Am I wrong?

I was going to suggest your DH go if he is able to but then that might not be a great situation either. If there has been drama in the past between him and this guy then that can turn ugly too. I dont think he is telling you what to do or anything like that, i understand his situation. If dh told me he was going out and even if there were ppl from his past there then that is fine BUT certain ppl i would say NO about, that i dont want to deal with it bc i know all they would want to do is cause more drama or act in a way that is inappropriate and dont need a crowd to see this, especially now that you two are married it is very different to hear later on that somebody had no respect for your marriage.

Butterfly123 Posted:

Re: Am I wrong?

Butterfly123 Posted:

Re: Am I wrong?

Toucan311 Posted:

Re: Am I wrong?

Posted by Songstress

Posted by Mimacat

What if you said something like, 'I can't go b/c of this ongoing issue, but you're birthday is very important so can I take you out to lunch/dinner/whatever on such and such a day' ?


I tried that. She told me 'GO TO DINNER YOURSELF AND KEEP YOUR STUPID GIFT'

Do you think it worked?


WOW. Its not like y ou're the only person that was going to be at the club!

Try this tactic: 'ok, the real reason that I can't come is that I'm pregant and can't be around smoke or liquor.'
Butterfly123 Posted:

Re: Am I wrong?

Toucan311 Posted:

Re: Am I wrong?

She sounds like a fun gal. You should blow off DH and go to her party.

CD516 Posted:

Re: Am I wrong?

I dont think your wrong at all. I think she could be upset but not cursing you out. I dont see why someone wouldnt understand where your coming from. And like Mi@ said , we're not 19 anymore, everyone has their own lives and compromises they need to make and it should be nobody's business to judge you for that. I just hate that stuff becuase i know where your coming from. I have some single friends and i often decline their offers because of DH, and they just dont get it. Its unfair. Maybe you could have given her advanced notice, but i still dont think its necessary to get mad at you. I have had people cancel last minute, and although i might be disappointed, i let it go.

Butterfly123 Posted:

Re: Am I wrong?

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