Am I wrong?

This is a sticky situation...I'm the same way in putting things off that I really don't want to deal w/ and then it makes it kinda worse

It sounds as though you have been friends for a long time....so maybe she just got alot of cancellations recently and took it out on you. I wouldn't write her off yet, maybe just give her some time to cool down and maybe contact her after the weekend and see if she's changed her tune and will meet you for lunch and to give her present.

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Posted by Songstress

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Posted by Gigi08

You're not wrong! To be honest, I didn't even finish reading your post because as soon as I saw that she cursed you out...it pissed me off. She needs to grow up. If she can't understand, she's not a real friend. It's not that you CAN'T go, you are CHOOSING not to go out of respect for your DH's feelings...and I respect that. Good for you!

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Thanks Gigi. Thats exactly why Im not going. I really do want to go but its a respect issue. She also texted me how hes insecure and needs to grow up. And now she throws him into it. Its not right. Anytime I make a decision not to go somewhere she brings him up. Like he has me on a leash. She doesnt realize I make my own decisions. I just dont know what else to do.

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You know what even if the issue was him being insecure...it's not really her business. It's not about HIM needing to grow up, it's about respect and the commitment you made to each other. Why invite trouble, especiall if there was already an issue with this person. Misery loves company.

Lea, you know your not wrong. A friend should understand where your coming from obviously you WANT to go and probaly are a little embarrassed to have to bring up this touchy past subject, why is she giving you such a hard time???

If I were the friend I'd say, OK but next tuesday (or whenever) we have to get a drink I'll miss you at the party.

That is just a foul thing for her to do

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Posted by Songstress

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Posted by Mimacat

What if you said something like, 'I can't go b/c of this ongoing issue, but you're birthday is very important so can I take you out to lunch/dinner/whatever on such and such a day' ?

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I tried that. She told me 'GO TO DINNER YOURSELF AND KEEP YOUR STUPID GIFT'

Do you think it worked?

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Wow, that wasn't necessary!

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Posted by RadiantBride

You are not wrong!!! Is she married? In a relationship? Maybe she just doesnt get it. If she is your true friend once this passes she will get over it. It might take a week or a month or longer but she'll come around. And if she doesnt then FUK her. sorry but she should be considerate of your feelings as well.

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That's what I really wanted to say...eff her. I agree with MJ too...her cursing me out would probably be enough for me. If she starts to causing a problem in your marriage, you shouldn't feel guilty distancing yourself from her.

QUOTE]

She isnt married and she doesnt understand about the compromise thing. She is the type of person that doesnt let her SO tell her what to do. Its like a feminist kinda attitude where no significant other will tell ME what to do. SO when she feels like DH is keeping me from doing something she acts crazy about it. Its exhausting. Youre right it all comes down to unmarried friends not understanding the other side of things.

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You know when I was seriously dating DH (we were young 21)many of my friends were single and I was always SO CAREFUL to go to everything and not be all about my man (and I am glad I did this I love my friends to death)

The funny part is half those girls are NOW in a realtionship and poof you barely see them, makes me laugh

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Posted by lizzie217

QUOTE]

She isnt married and she doesnt understand about the compromise thing. She is the type of person that doesnt let her SO tell her what to do. Its like a feminist kinda attitude where no significant other will tell ME what to do. SO when she feels like DH is keeping me from doing something she acts crazy about it. Its exhausting. Youre right it all comes down to unmarried friends not understanding the other side of things.

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You know when I was seriously dating DH (we were young 21)many of my friends were single and I was always SO CAREFUL to go to everything and not be all about my man (and I am glad I did this I love my friends to death)

The funny part is half those girls are NOW in a realtionship and poof you barely see them, makes me laugh

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It's always that way...they forget.

Did this guy try and hit on your while you were with DH? I think I need more information...just playing devils advocate for a minute because I dont think my DH would be upset but I need more details. I would try and go for like an hour and thats it.

But on another note, it sounds like she is being a real pest about it. Totally uncalled for.

first of all I am sorry, she does not understand. but honestly like you I would respect my dh wishes and decline the invite as well. so I do not feel you are wrong. give her a chance to cool down then try to talk to her. in the mean while here is a BIG and please do not get stressed out over this.