Anyone else feel weird about the name change thing?

My husband doesn't care either way, but I've been going back and forth on it - STILL. I've tried using the hypenated name i chose, but I don't know - he doesn't have to change anything, but everyone is call me Mrs. Him. It's just weird - I'm feeling very posessive of my name right now. It feels weird than I thought it would. I especially hate Mr. and Mrs. HisFirst Hislast - that makes me want to tear my hair out. Nadine and Arie Hislast is not bad, kinda cute, but Nadine Hislast is just not NadineMylast, you know? And Nadine Mylast-Hislast is so long.

I'm probably gonna keep to my plan, which was Nadine Mylast for work and pretty much everything, Nadine Hislast for the kids (school and stuff) and Nadine Mylast-Hislast for legal purposes.

Anyone else feel this way?

Re: Anyone else feel weird about the name change thing?

No. I departed with my last name fairly quickly. I changed everything the week I got back from the honeymoon. Sort of like ripping a band-aid off. The quicker you do it, the less it will hurt. Even the bank lady told me when I was changing my account...'wow, people usually take forever to do this.' Sometimes I miss my last name and using his is weird but I don't regret my decision. I feel like a family now if that makes sense.
I went from Jennifer D--- to Jennifer D---. I literally only changed three letters. Maybe that is why is not that bad

Re: Anyone else feel weird about the name change thing?

It was very hard for me to give up my last name at first, because I like my last name, and his is boring! It also felt like I was losing part of my identity. But now that everything pretty much has been changed over, it's not so bad. I don't mind being called by his last name now (but I still miss my maiden name a little....)

Re: Anyone else feel weird about the name change thing?

I kept my last name. I just couldnt part with it when it came to it. I wanted to have both but together they sounded like a coffee maker so I kept mine. If we decide to have kids then maybe I will change it.

Re: Anyone else feel weird about the name change thing?

i still have my old name for now... ill get to change it eventually. im just being lazy..

Re: Anyone else feel weird about the name change thing?

I changed everything and it's a little weird but I have yet to sign wrong or answer the phoen wrong at work since the first day ack from the HM.

My biggest thing is at work I always signed emails with my initials (WC) and I just can't bring mysef to sign WH (that I can't get used to - no clue why), so I always sign Wendy now and it's very weird for me.

Re: Anyone else feel weird about the name change thing?

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Posted by Robeymuse

No. I departed with my last name fairly quickly. I changed everything the week I got back from the honeymoon. Sort of like ripping a band-aid off. The quicker you do it, the less it will hurt. Even the bank lady told me when I was changing my account...'wow, people usually take forever to do this.' Sometimes I miss my last name and using his is weird but I don't regret my decision. I feel like a family now if that makes sense.

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I did the exact same thing. I was looking forward to changing my name all along- I never liked my last name, so that's probably why I didn't have a problem with it.

Re: Anyone else feel weird about the name change thing?

I have some of my CC's changed but everything else is still in my old name.

I think its strange when the nurse at the docs office says 'Karen FXXXXX' for me to come into the room and it takes me a sec to realize, Hey, thats me!

Re: Anyone else feel weird about the name change thing?

I had a huge identity crisis about changing my name when we first got married - now 2 years later I am thinking I better get myself to social security. I use my married name socially but my maiden name is still on my payroll & tax papers.

Re: Anyone else feel weird about the name change thing?

i still am a little freaked out by it and i have been married 6 months. my name was very long and ethnic and people could never pronounce it when i was little i swore i was going to marry someone with a simple name starting with an A mine had a Z and i was last for everything in school lol. but after my dad died i learned to love my name and appreciate all it represented. i had it all planned that i would keep my maiden name if i ever got married well dh came along and he never asks for anything isnt pushy or demanding lol. but when it came to the name change it was the only thing he really wanted. he said that it would make him feel that he truly had his own family. i couldnt let him down so i changed

Re: Anyone else feel weird about the name change thing?

I am hyphenating. My mom says if DH had an Italian name instead of a Polish one, I would have taken his, but it goes much deeper. I am 28 years old and have established who I am in work, and as an individual. I am not going to toss it aside to take DH's name, when I know if the tables were turned he wouldn't do the same.

I am hyphenated but our kids will have his last name.

Re: Anyone else feel weird about the name change thing?

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Posted by xjulietx

I am hyphenating. My mom says if DH had an Italian name instead of a Polish one, I would have taken his, but it goes much deeper. I am 28 years old and have established who I am in work, and as an individual. I am not going to toss it aside to take DH's name, when I know if the tables were turned he wouldn't do the same.

I am hyphenated but our kids will have his last name.

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ill trade you my new italian last name for your new polish one lol

Re: Anyone else feel weird about the name change thing?

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Posted by xjulietx

I am hyphenating. My mom says if DH had an Italian name instead of a Polish one, I would have taken his, but it goes much deeper. I am 28 years old and have established who I am in work, and as an individual. I am not going to toss it aside to take DH's name, when I know if the tables were turned he wouldn't do the same.

I am hyphenated but our kids will have his last name.

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My goodness!!! Did I type that & NOT EVEN KNOW IT!!! That is exactly my reason, even down to the polish thing too!!!

Re: Anyone else feel weird about the name change thing?

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Posted by nsgraham

My husband doesn't care either way, but I've been going back and forth on it - STILL. I've tried using the hypenated name i chose, but I don't know - he doesn't have to change anything, but everyone is call me Mrs. Him. It's just weird - I'm feeling very posessive of my name right now. It feels weird than I thought it would. I especially hate Mr. and Mrs. HisFirst Hislast - that makes me want to tear my hair out. Nadine and Arie Hislast is not bad, kinda cute, but Nadine Hislast is just not NadineMylast, you know? And Nadine Mylast-Hislast is so long.

I'm probably gonna keep to my plan, which was Nadine Mylast for work and pretty much everything, Nadine Hislast for the kids (school and stuff) and Nadine Mylast-Hislast for legal purposes.

Anyone else feel this way?

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I was very upset about having to change my name - really dreaded it...but wound up doing it - just took my time with it - 1.5 years later still haven't changed my passport. I also didn't change it at work since I have worked at my company a long long time and that is how people know me. It was hard to give up that piece of my identity and the male does nothing. At least after I did it my DH thanked me (it was impt to him for some reason) and said wow that must have been very hard for you - at least he realized it.

Edited to add - oh and his name is Italian and I fought my whole life trying to convince people I am 0% Italian and no one believes me....Plus my old last name no one could tell what nationality I was - it is unique - I never met anyone with it - - urgh now I have an Italian last name - go figure.

I also despise Mrs. HisName OurLastName ... makes me feel like property - I never write my name that way and correct people when they say it - but thankfull most people don't say - they just write it that way.... A HUGE pet peeve of mine.

Re: Anyone else feel weird about the name change thing?

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Posted by janwinterbridejoy

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Posted by xjulietx

I am hyphenating. My mom says if DH had an Italian name instead of a Polish one, I would have taken his, but it goes much deeper. I am 28 years old and have established who I am in work, and as an individual. I am not going to toss it aside to take DH's name, when I know if the tables were turned he wouldn't do the same.

I am hyphenated but our kids will have his last name.

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ill trade you my new italian last name for your new polish one lol

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That would be funny!!

I am hyphenating because I want people to know who I was and who I am. I am proud of both.

And besides, isn't traditional in a lot of Hispanic countries that the women have their maiden names and their husband's names to show their geneology?

Re: Anyone else feel weird about the name change thing?

Because we had our son before we got married I had no problem changing my name. Though I do miss it. I guess it's easy going form one Irish name to another one! LOL

Re: Anyone else feel weird about the name change thing?

I changed some thing quickly like my license and credit cards but I didn't change my checking account until like 3 months ago. It was hard losing my last name although I was able to keep my initials TM. Since there are 2 Tracy's here at work the girls still call me by my maiden name......

I went to a wedding a few months ago and I was looking for my place card but I was looking for my maiden name, not my married name...(DH was not standing there at the time so he didn't know I wasn't looking for 'our' name )

Re: Anyone else feel weird about the name change thing?

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Posted by nsgraham


I'm probably gonna keep to my plan, which was Nadine Mylast for work and pretty much everything, Nadine Hislast for the kids (school and stuff) and Nadine Mylast-Hislast for legal purposes.

Anyone else feel this way?

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That's what my cousin did. I will probably be doing the same thing...

Re: Anyone else feel weird about the name change thing?

I am not changing my name. I too hate the whole Mr. and Mrs. Hisfirst Hislast name thing. I mean really, you get married and suddenly you are only a 'Mrs.'!!! I have accomplished a great deal in my life before getting married and have a wall full of diplomas and licenses with my maiden name. So for work, there is no way I am changing my name. We have discussed changing names for the kids; however, more and more I am arguing against that. I mean will I be less of a mother just because I have a different name than my husband? Our kids will only know us by mom and dad - not by mr. hisname and mrs. hername. If anything, it should prove to them that a woman doesn't have to relinquish her identity for the sake of a man.

I'm sorry to go off like this. I understand that a lot of women do change their name and that is a perfectly acceptable decision. My mom and I fought quite a bit over this - she pulled the whole 'if you love him you would be honored to take his name.' how sad a world it is if loving someone means you have to have the same name!

Re: Anyone else feel weird about the name change thing?

I agree that it is very strange to suddenly be someone else and I'm having a bit of a hard time with it also, but on the other hand, I'm very proud to take DH's name. For me, it makes me feel more like we are family and I think that it's important when you have children to all have the same last name. I know that's not necessarily a popular opinion, but it's the way that I feel.

That said, I am going a little bit nuts because I'm maiden for some things, married for others and hyphenated at work. I was looking for a job in the UK when DH (boyfriend at the time) left the US. I had made some contacts, but needed a work permit. After we got married, I wanted people to know that I was the same person who contacted them last year, hoping they would see the hyphenation and realize that I was married now and no longer needed the work permit. However, now that I found a job, I find the hyphenation to be a little bit awkward and cumbersome, so I'm trying to phase it out.