Babies having babies...just a vent *EDITED*

---

I agree with you but that doesn't make it right...I am a middle school teacher and I've seen some of our 8th graders pregnant in our school and I just worry for them and their babies...what makes me feel bad is that they are not giving their babies the best environment to grow up in (what could they possibly offer parentingwise as a teen who isn't fully an adult yet herself?) and that the cycle will most likely repeat itself when these babies are teens. It's a vicious cycle. Many of the girls that have these babies are in poverty too and things become much harder for all when they bring a baby into the picture.

---

Obviously having a child as a teenager is not an ideal situation, and life will ultimately be harder for teenage parents, especially single teenage parents. However as an adult who works with these girls on educating themselves, loving themselves, putting themselves first, it bothers me when other adults make nasty, judgmental, blanket statements. These girls deserve compassion not negative aggression. I am not advocating for teen pregnancy I am advocating for not beating people when they are down. Adults (as we all are) should know better.

---

Posted by lizzie217

---

I agree with you but that doesn't make it right...I am a middle school teacher and I've seen some of our 8th graders pregnant in our school and I just worry for them and their babies...what makes me feel bad is that they are not giving their babies the best environment to grow up in (what could they possibly offer parentingwise as a teen who isn't fully an adult yet herself?) and that the cycle will most likely repeat itself when these babies are teens. It's a vicious cycle. Many of the girls that have these babies are in poverty too and things become much harder for all when they bring a baby into the picture.

---

Obviously having a child as a teenager is not an ideal situation, and life will ultimately be harder for teenage parents, especially single teenage parents. However as an adult who works with these girls on educating themselves, loving themselves, putting themselves first, it bothers me when other adults make nasty, judgmental, blanket statements. These girls deserve compassion not negative aggression. I am not advocating for teen pregnancy I am advocating for not beating people when they are down. Adults (as we all are) should know better.

---

i understand what you are saying....but it just shocks me that 8th graders have babies i just think that at such young ages termination would be a better option, but thats just me and my opinion.....nobody is ready to be a parent at 12, 13, 14 IMO

---

Posted by Songstress

Whatever. Ish happens. Teenage pregnancy will always happen. People who arent ready to have kids will still have them. Neverending cycle. Some of these kids will be born to wonderful loving families regardless of the situation and some wont. What can we do.

---

agreed - sometimes it works out - other times it doesn't........there are also adults that are guilty of bringing kids into the world when they have no means to support them.....it happens....i guess you just have to worry about yourself and that is it.....

---

Posted by Future Mulligan

---

Posted by Songstress

Whatever. Ish happens. Teenage pregnancy will always happen. People who arent ready to have kids will still have them. Neverending cycle. Some of these kids will be born to wonderful loving families regardless of the situation and some wont. What can we do.

---

agreed - sometimes it works out - other times it doesn't........there are also adults that are guilty of bringing kids into the world when they have no means to support them.....it happens....i guess you just have to worry about yourself and that is it.....

---

EXACTLY. I know adults who have kids who SHOULD NOT AT ALL.

---

Posted by lizzie217

---

I agree with you but that doesn't make it right...I am a middle school teacher and I've seen some of our 8th graders pregnant in our school and I just worry for them and their babies...what makes me feel bad is that they are not giving their babies the best environment to grow up in (what could they possibly offer parentingwise as a teen who isn't fully an adult yet herself?) and that the cycle will most likely repeat itself when these babies are teens. It's a vicious cycle. Many of the girls that have these babies are in poverty too and things become much harder for all when they bring a baby into the picture.

---

Obviously having a child as a teenager is not an ideal situation, and life will ultimately be harder for teenage parents, especially single teenage parents. However as an adult who works with these girls on educating themselves, loving themselves, putting themselves first, it bothers me when other adults make nasty, judgmental, blanket statements. These girls deserve compassion not negative aggression. I am not advocating for teen pregnancy I am advocating for not beating people when they are down. Adults (as we all are) should know better.

---

Sorry you misunderstood where I am coming from...I am not beating those girls down, simply stating facts. I am all for compassion for all kids but I see the larger picture (the cycle that these girls are either part of or beginning in their families) and I just think there has to be a better way....no girl is really ready to be a parent at such a young age. I have many students who are born to such parents and the parents are so busy catching up on what they missed as a teenager/young adult that the children (my students)are neglected at home educationally, emotionally and physically) and it's heartbreaking. I see the end results of what happens so I have a different perspective of these situations. Sorry if you disagree...but I maintain that the children born in these situations are the ones that end up suffering

Sophisticat-I should not have quoted you, I was not referring to your post in my post I absolutely agree with your points, they are valid. What bothered me was the agression towards these girls from posters

---

Posted by lizzie217

Sophisticat-I should not have quoted you, I was not referring to your post in my post I absolutely agree with your points, they are valid. What bothered me was the agression towards these girls from posters

---

Ohh that's OK but thank you Lizzie I hear you BTW. It's very different when you can put a 'face' on the girls going through it....

---

Posted by FinallyMrsB18

---

Posted by bettybcafe82

---

Posted by lizzie217

---

.

before judging people, saying there not happy with there situation, maybe they are trying to make the best out of the situation, or maybe they are truly happy, i know i am.

---

I agree. In general this thread bothers me. It is in bad taste to judge others. I sure would not like others to judge me, my life, my decisions. It really is no one's business when or why people decide to have children. I am not trying to cause drama but it irks me that people feel they can just paint all teen mothers with this negative brush.

---

No, no...I am not judging ALL teenager young mothers. There are obviously diff. situations to each person, I understand that. But from what Ive seen its just been stupidity...for example..the father of one of these children has a myspace profile and each pic is of him smoking and drinking...(hes 19) and the subtitles all contain curse words (even about his newborn) I am not saying that all young people are like this...just the MANY that I know are..and it upsets me that they do not think about what they are doing.

---

I don't think you are judging. I think your just showing frustration with the situation. It is so ironic that there are so many unwanted, unplanned pregnancy, and so many other woman on the other hand who are having fertility problems and want nothing more in the world than a baby. I see it and I just get frustrated too because right now I want nothing more than to start a family, but we just can't afford it right now. So I get where your coming from.

---

YES YES YES! YOU HIT IT RIGHT ON THE NOSE. I am not judging...just frustrated because I am emotionally, mentionally, physically ready for a child..but financially we are not thats why we are waiting..yet these teenagers go have sex and BAM their pregnant and happy...no worries in the world...I am just angry because there are grown mature adults who are sooo ready for kids but cant have them for other reasons. Thats all

---

Posted by lizzie217

Point blank to have any animosity toward a kid who is choosing a very tough life is absurd, this is how I interpreted the OP's post and I find that reaction bothersome.

---

ITA! couldn't of said it better

---

Posted by lizzie217

Point blank to have any animosity toward a kid who is choosing a very tough life is absurd, this is how I interpreted the OP's post and I find that reaction bothersome.

---

Oh my God....I swear sometimes I even hate posting my feelings because I get responses like this. I still talk to these girls and wish them the very best in life! As far as choosing this life...well, yea..they choose it, unfortunate for them I believe they choose wrong... I am just upset because they could of waited (like many other teens who can) yet I am happily married, 26yrs old and ready for a child yet I still know financially its not a good time..and these girls just go and get pregnant...its just upsetting.

---

Posted by bettybcafe82

YES YES YES! YOU HIT IT RIGHT ON THE NOSE. I am not judging...just frustrated because I am emotionally, mentionally, physically ready for a child..but financially we are not thats why we are waiting..yet these teenagers go have sex and BAM their pregnant and happy...no worries in the world...I am just angry because there are grown mature adults who are sooo ready for kids but cant have them for other reasons. Thats all

---

financially speaking, i dont think anyone will ever be ready, of course a nest egg is a good idea, to plan for the worst, but there are always going to be things that come up..

i get what your saying, your just venting, so i'm not trying to be snarky or anything please dont take it that way, but everyones choices are different, dont be angry with girls who may have made mistakes, when they are stepping up to the plate.. please be happy for them, because when you see a 15 year old girl smiling and laughing with there baby, I'm sure there scared, but made the decision to be a mother to there child, instead of casting them aside.

Its something that I think will always happen- no matter how hard people try to stop it. We just have to hope the babies are being well cared for. And I think it a lot of situations they are. Just not all.

I remember there was a group of girls in my high school. One of them got pregnant the summer after 8th grade. She was 14. She was 15 when she had the baby. Then over the next 4 years of high school every girl in her click had a baby. it was about 8 of them. It was kinda strange. Im not sure if they all planned it or if it just happened. But I got invited to a couple of their showers as I was friendly with some and it just was really uncomfortable for me being that young and getting invited to their baby showers. Fortunitly a few of those girls came from strong families who gave thema lot of help and they were able to provide and rasie their children in a loving home- as far as I know.

---

Posted by jennandrolo

speaking from current experience dealing my 17 yr old sister that is now 6 months pregnant, i must say that yes my sister did do something extremely stupid that could have been prevented. i have been struggling with this situation for the past 6 months because she is 17 and her bf is 16. neither have jobs or are finished with hs (my sis will be done in june though). i KNOW she is not mature enough for a child but i can only hope that it will be a huge wake up call.

luckily my sisters situation is better than most. we come from a very tight-knit family that is very supportive and is going to be there for her and the baby 100%. my mother is making her attend college ASAP as well. of course my concern is that my sister will take advantage and wind up thinking having a kid is a breeze but we'll see.

as far as the father goes, he has been around and been supportive as well as his mom. does that mean he'll always be there? no but my nephew will have alot of other good solid men to look up to.

it is terrible that these girls feel having babies is the best thing that can happen to them without thinking about the well being of the child. all we can do is to continue to educate these teens. not everyones situation will be as good as my sisters but its important to support them even after they make that mistake.

---

perfectly stated. people make decisions...no one is perfect... what we can hope for is that they LEARN from these decisions. will everyone? no. but there are people that do. for example, i have someone very close to me who got pregnant young/before being being married/etc..NOW, she will openly talk about how at the time she was blindly in love, and just wanted to get married & have love in her life, keep her b/f from leaving her, etc.. It's been years since, and yes, it has been a really rough road for her, and the father is a deadbeat...but she has used it to make her stronger. Her son being born has literally turned her life around & i truly see how the birth of her baby is the best thing that could've happened to her life. Not saying it's easy by any means, but it has turned her life around as an individual. she now says how she was looking in all the wrong places for love/life, and her priority now is to be a mother, find the right qualities in a husband, and talk to her child when they're older about making the right decisions when it comes to things like this. I've seen her mature & become quite the woman through all of it. Are there teens out there who i think end up taking advantage, taking the easy road out, running away, etc?? absolutely...i DO think there some people that make poor decisions, but there are also people who follow the light at the end of the tunnel. like the ap said, these girls DO need support. Does it mean that they don't get consequence for their actions?? absolutely not...i think having the responsibilty of a child for the rest of their life will teach them that... BUT, a lot of these girls need to be supported, rather than be ashamed of this 'mistake'....i dont think any baby is a mistake. I am a firm believer that God puts every single life on this earth for a reason..babies are a blessing no matter the circumstance. i DO get your frustration about teen pregnancy...i think that's what u intended ur vent to be about because it's become so prominent these days and yes it is sad for some of the girls who got themselves into the situation on purpose for selfish reasons & of course its a frustration for those in ideal circumstance that either can't have a baby, or WANT to but need to wait..but 1) it's not always the case, and 2) for those that ARE in that category, i feel for them and i think it's sad that they are desparately seeking that love. i'm just sharing my thoughts for those girls who are out there because i have seen many girls go through it...i do think some try to flaunt it to hide the pain, others are trying to see the positive because being pregnant IS amazing...i dont think they're saying 'oh being a single teen mom is the greatest thing ever'...but rather 'pregnancy & motherhood is an AMAZING thing...' and hopefully use it to better themselves..

novel ending now lol.