Dear Abby and being a good hostess!!

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are newlyweds, and I'm having a problem with his family. I was taught never to go empty-handed to a dinner and to always leave what I took for the hostess.
I invited my husband's family to a holiday dinner. After we ate, they packed up all their leftovers and took them home. I was so busy cooking, serving and clearing that I didn't have time to eat -- so I ended up hungry.

Were my in-laws rude? Should I say something or keep my mouth shut? They are coming over again soon and I need to know if I should quickly hide the leftovers I want to keep or go with the flow. -- HUNGRY HOSTESS IN N.Y.

DEAR HUNGRY: 'Hiding' the leftovers won't work because if your in-laws are as territorial about food as they appear to be, they won't be fooled.

The next time you cook them dinner sit down and enjoy it with them. That's what a good hostess does. Either that, or make sure you have eaten enough before they arrive so that you won't go hungry later.


Now I must say this for the record (but my Mother told him to do this last year and he remembered, personally I thought it was rude) Frankie brought his own tupperware to TG dinner at my Mom's
. Now he did that because he hates being responsible for other people's things so, now we wouldn't take all her tupperware or worry about getting them back to her quickly. MOm thought he was adorable for doing it. But if a 'guest' ever packed their own left overs I would be floored!

Re: Dear Abby and being a good hostess!!

Major holidays are always at our house since we're the only ones that have a large enough place to hold everyone.

Last year I had those disposable Glad containers, and sent sereral people home with leftovers because there was no way DH and I would have eaten all the left over food.

This year, we had less in the way of left-over side dishes so I didn't bother filling containers for anyone other than BIL who was unable to join us, and gave us his very specific take-out order of what he wanted his mother to bring back to Queens for him

He's such a sweetheart I would have packed it up for him even if he hadn't asked.

Re: Dear Abby and being a good hostess!!

My Mom uses the Glad disposable containers to send leftovers home with everyone too. But, my family cooks excessive amounts of food, so there's no way my Mom and Dad would ever go hungry - even after leftovers were doled out.

Re: Dear Abby and being a good hostess!!

Ya see I have a problem with people who came over 'offering' to take things home WITHOUT being offered it first by the hostess! I think that is completely rude and I would never ask someone to take something home without it being offered to me.

Would anyone else?

Re: Dear Abby and being a good hostess!!

I have a HUGE problem with people who take it upon themselves to take leftovers without being offered first. I think that is soooo rude.

Whenever I go to someone's home I always bring something- family included. At the end of the night- my family or other person hosting usually insists that I take home, THEN I do.

Not some people I know, they take it upon themselves to start packing a plate. I do not like that!!

Re: Dear Abby and being a good hostess!!

I guess things are pretty low key in my family...b/c everyone takes a plate home...

guests usually also bring side dishes...so they have dishes to pack things up in...


If I invite people over to my house...I'm assuming that I enjoy their company...and I would love it that they share in some of the food...

Re: Dear Abby and being a good hostess!!

Yabbo, I think family is different, well my immediate family that I see all the time anyway. I really do not mind when they take, but it is sometimes friends, guests who have not been to your home before, people like that, who think it is ok to go for the aluminum foil and pack away.

Re: Dear Abby and being a good hostess!!

I can see that...we just don't really have too many people over...when I do the cooking...so maybe I haven't run into it yet...

Re: Dear Abby and being a good hostess!!

Any other thoughts????