DH might have to go to VA for four months to train for a new job....

Wow Beth, I didn't know this was going on? When did this happen?

I am sorry you are going through this.

---

Posted by peabody

Wow Beth, I didn't know this was going on? When did this happen?

I am sorry you are going through this.

---

He just went in for it today so I didn't even hear much about it until this afternoon/tonight!

That is a sucky situation. The husband of one of my friends was sent to Korea for a while on business and I remember how miserable she was! So I feel for you.

If he does end up getting the job, maybe you can find somewhere between VA and NY where you could meet. You'd still have to pay for a hotel but the travel would be easier than going all the way to VA or NY.

---

Posted by TracyInQueens

That is a sucky situation. The husband of one of my friends was sent to Korea for a while on business and I remember how miserable she was! So I feel for you.

If he does end up getting the job, maybe you can find somewhere between VA and NY where you could meet. You'd still have to pay for a hotel but the travel would be easier than going all the way to VA or NY.

---

That's a really good idea! I think he is leaning towards not taking it. You have to sign that you will move wherever they place you, here or in a foreign country.

---

Posted by nov04LIbride

---

Posted by TracyInQueens

That is a sucky situation. The husband of one of my friends was sent to Korea for a while on business and I remember how miserable she was! So I feel for you.

If he does end up getting the job, maybe you can find somewhere between VA and NY where you could meet. You'd still have to pay for a hotel but the travel would be easier than going all the way to VA or NY.

---

That's a really good idea! I think he is leaning towards not taking it. You have to sign that you will move wherever they place you, here or in a foreign country.

---

You would have to keep moving? Hmmmm.... I couldn't do that. I am not one for so much change.

Could you do that Beth? Move so much?

---

Posted by peabody

---

Posted by nov04LIbride

---

Posted by TracyInQueens

That is a sucky situation. The husband of one of my friends was sent to Korea for a while on business and I remember how miserable she was! So I feel for you.

If he does end up getting the job, maybe you can find somewhere between VA and NY where you could meet. You'd still have to pay for a hotel but the travel would be easier than going all the way to VA or NY.

---

That's a really good idea! I think he is leaning towards not taking it. You have to sign that you will move wherever they place you, here or in a foreign country.

---

You would have to keep moving? Hmmmm.... I couldn't do that. I am not one for so much change.

Could you do that Beth? Move so much?

---

I don't want to give up my entire career. I worked too hard, and am committing to a doctorate in it. I don't want it to be wasted if we aren't in a stable environment. And I would feel too guilty if we have kids, moving them all the time, switching schools. It's a lot to think about but I don't think he will wind up going through with it. It was the initial shock that made me write the first post! Thanks for all the support everyone!

You have FM - again

For 20K more maybe but definitely not for 20K less.
I want my DH to be happy but you have to compromise in marriage and I would want him to keep looking for something else that didn't involve a pay cut and/or being away for 4 months.

---

Posted by CaCRmr

Did you hear anything?

---

Aww thanks! wood2be was so helpful because her DH has the same job now! It sounds like a more stressful lifestyle than they make it out to be in the initial stages, so I am sharing her experiences with him to see what he thinks. Lots of late night calls, possibility of being transferred...Anyway, thanks again everyone!

It depends on the opportunity. If he is switching careers he might have to take 2 steps backwards to move forwards? you know what I mean? Itis all about taking a risk, so you should talk with him about it and make a decision together.

Good luck

I'm glad I could help

I dont know what to say but

Wow, adding in the transfers after the training, especially with you then having to give up the doctorate program you were so excited to get into... all for something that *might* interest him paying $20K less/year... I just don't see how that could be an affirmative answer.

All through college and my first stint in grad school, I wanted to go into the CIA. I really pushed for it. Then I sat down and truly thought about it... I wouldn't even have been eligible to apply until 23 (and oftentimes it takes multiple application processes) and would have been considered mobile (i.e. throughout the world) for the first 7-10 years on the job. I knew that I wanted a more stable life than that and, as hard as it was, I gave up my dream. This was all before I met DH. So, based on doing this before I even met him, I can honestly say no, I couldn't do it.