do you call your MIL just to chat? How about Grandmother-IL

DH told me that his mom & grandma would like me to call them to just say hi and chat ... but it seems stupid to me. i don't consider them my family ... they're not even people i consider friends! they're just some ladies who are related to my DH (not that i hate them ... they're just very boring to me and i have nothing in common with them)

so i was wondering ... do i really need to call them just to say hi?

do you guys call your DH's families just to say hi?

Re: do you call your MIL just to chat? How about Grandmother-IL

i haven't talked to my in laws since the wedding (excluding thanksgiving and that's because we sort of had to)

... i used to want to try and have that sort of relationship with my MIL but DH told me just to give it up that she wasn't going to have that. (yeah, seriously)

'she has 3 daughters of her own. she isn't looking for another one.'

so whatever, one less aggravation in my life.

Re: do you call your MIL just to chat? How about Grandmother-IL

My relationship with my MIL is surprisingly very complicated. In general, she is not a warm and fuzzy kinda person. My husband is the youngest of 5 kids so she's especailly not warm and fuzzy with him. I'll leave it there.

I am very respectful to her and I am as warm as the situation permits. I am like a very warm and touchy feely affectionate kinda person so I really have to tone it down with her.

During wedding planning I would email her proofs of things, etc...and try to include her in things. Many times, if not all, she wouldn't even reply to my emails.

DH has 3 sisters and 1 brother and I am close with 2 SILs and both of my BILs. The remaining 2 sisters take after their mother....not warm and fuzzy. I'll leave it there, again.

My mom, on the other hand, is the warmest, cuddliest, most fun and affectionate person and we talk like 10 times everyday so I don't feel like I'm missing out on ANYTHING with by not being close to my MIL.

As you can tell by the length of this response, it is an issue. I have been thinking about starting a thread about it. I've also been trying to use restraint and not get too dramatic about the situation but it does hurt my feelings.....

Re: do you call your MIL just to chat? How about Grandmother-IL

'... i used to want to try and have that sort of relationship with my MIL but DH told me just to give it up that she wasn't going to have that. (yeah, seriously)

'she has 3 daughters of her own. she isn't looking for another one.''


THIS. And then some bc she is passive/aggressive and cold.

I NEED TO GET TO THIS....

'one less aggrivation in my life...'

Re: do you call your MIL just to chat? How about Grandmother-IL

I never have a reason to just call her and just chat with her. If I ever have to ask her a question, I just send her a text and she usually does the same to me.

Re: do you call your MIL just to chat? How about Grandmother-IL

i think MIL always wanted daughters but got 3 sons instead so she pretends the daughters-in-law (DH's 2 brothers are also married) are her own kids.

it's stupid though ... as Teri said, if i don't have a reason to call her, why would i call her?! i don't have the need (or desier) to 'chat' ... i have friends and my own family for that!

Re: do you call your MIL just to chat? How about Grandmother-IL

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Posted by Byrne2Be

During wedding planning I would email her proofs of things, etc...and try to include her in things. Many times, if not all, she wouldn't even reply to my emails.

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omg me too.

and then despite this... her and FIL would call and complain to us that they weren't being included in anything.

WHAT?

Re: do you call your MIL just to chat? How about Grandmother-IL

I don't call anyone just to chat. I hate, hate, hate talking on the phone.

Re: do you call your MIL just to chat? How about Grandmother-IL

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Posted by JAAMS

I don't call anyone just to chat. I hate, hate, hate talking on the phone.

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lol, i should use this excuse if she ever asks why i don't call her

Re: do you call your MIL just to chat? How about Grandmother-IL

If only that were true for me.

I call my grandmother every single day to gab and gab.

I only like to call and talk to people I REALLY like.

Re: do you call your MIL just to chat? How about Grandmother-IL

I do call my Grandmother-in-law on rare occasion because she is the funniest person I have ever met and I don't have any living grandparents of my own and want to check in on her. It shocks me how DH takes these people for granted. I get all my dirty jokes from his grandma that looks exactly like Estelle Getty and I can't even stand how much I love her. My MIL on the other hand....I have seen her 2 times since we got married and she doesn't care to have a good relationship with me, so I feel the same way. Ever since I got engaged, everything I do gets picked apart and analyzed, so I'd rather be distant. It used to upset me that we aren't closer, but now I am fine with it

Re: do you call your MIL just to chat? How about Grandmother-IL

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Posted by flibbertigibbet

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Posted by Byrne2Be

During wedding planning I would email her proofs of things, etc...and try to include her in things. Many times, if not all, she wouldn't even reply to my emails.

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omg me too.

and then despite this... her and FIL would call and complain to us that they weren't being included in anything.

WHAT?

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Same!! I even asked my MIL to come with me when I rodered my dress to keep her involved. She said 'No' than made us change our line up for the Church.

Re: do you call your MIL just to chat? How about Grandmother-IL

UGHHH....SAME HERE - no sh!t. The same exact nonsense got back to me about her feeling as though she wasn't being included. Nevermind the emails that were met with deaf ears but when I would see her and try to talk about the wedding she was generally disinterested.

The ONE thing she did 'help' with was by telling me the BM dresses I picked were 'not a great choice for everyone...' or some cr@p along those lines. I ended up throwing in the towel and allowing each BM (3 of which were her daughters) just pick their own dresses.

I think I'm taking this thread off track because my situation is far larger than just not calling my MIL. She's a tricky lady. I'm in a very lose/lose situation. A is wrong and B is wrong too. SWEEEEEET.

Re: do you call your MIL just to chat? How about Grandmother-IL

No, but I work with MIL so I see her daily. And I have no GMIL.

Re: do you call your MIL just to chat? How about Grandmother-IL

If they want to talk to you so badly, or have a topic to discuss, the telephone does work both ways. I'm sure their phones don't only accept incoming calls, but are also capable of dialing out... I would tell DH to tell him that (but NOT that YOU said so)

Re: do you call your MIL just to chat? How about Grandmother-IL

i talk to my MIL everyday just to chat- sometime we talk for 5 minutes, sometimes an hour- she's the best. She has 3 sons so she treats me like a daughter (my mom gets jealous of that!)

Both GMIL don't speak a lick of english- i dont speak italian and trherefore no communication via telephone!

Re: do you call your MIL just to chat? How about Grandmother-IL

nope , but she doesn't call me either lol

Re: do you call your MIL just to chat? How about Grandmother-IL

It has been almost a year since my DH has spoken to his mother....its been about 3 months since I spoke to her and it ended with me calling her a few choice words. Her phone number is blocked from calling our home and cells.

I have to say this is really unfortunate, it really takes a toll on DH although he would never admit it. Its just sad and I wish he had a wonderful mother.

However, I talk with my mom at least once a day, she is such an amazing woman. DH talks to his dad once a week. But I never call FIL or step-mother in law just to chat, but they are great people.

Re: do you call your MIL just to chat? How about Grandmother-IL

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Posted by JAAMS

I don't call anyone just to chat. I hate, hate, hate talking on the phone.

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Same here- I hate the phone

Re: do you call your MIL just to chat? How about Grandmother-IL

Whenever I call MIL it's for a purpose - like I actually have something to talk about. But we often get off track and talk for a while.