Do you get worried that the love will fade???

Do you get worried that the love will fade???

My Dh and I were talking last night- half funny/half serious.

I know alot of you know that Dh and I have been together a looooong time, this june will be 11 years total. Sure we have had our challenges over the years, but alot of it had to do with us dating young, not having much prior dating experience, and bascially having to grow up together, so yes we have gotten through that.

Now we are married, very happily I might add , but I sometimes wonder am I going to wake up one day and say I can't stand your stankin a$$ anymore, will we run out of things to talk about, will we get bored etc etc?

I know we have talked ad nauseum on this board about keeping the spice alive, which we do, but I don't know. This crosses my mind every now and again.

Anyone else????

Re: Do you get worried that the love will fade???

I worry about that, but then again, I worry about everything under the sun. So, I try to not think about it. Fortunately, both DH and I come from parents that are still married after over 30 yrs. Although that is not an indicator of happiness in a marriage, it is comforting to know that our parents have weathered some rough times and survived.

Sorry, I tend to ramble.

Re: Do you get worried that the love will fade???

I don't think that love fades, it evolves into something much more than just you regular holding hands, kissy face thing, something like total devotion and just a general feeling of being one with you spouse.

Over the years, you are connected on some many new levels that you never even dreamed such a feelign of... is possible...

At least that's what I thing looking at my parents and Grandparents.

that is not to say that I don't ocasionally feel like we need to be apart and have a nice evening with just with my girls or just with my sister.

Re: Do you get worried that the love will fade???

Re: Do you get worried that the love will fade???

Re: Do you get worried that the love will fade???

I worry about that sometime although I try not to. There are times that I feel like I have nothing to say and others that I feel like I dont want to be anywhere near him.. But I realized that has nothing to do with not loving him. I think a lot of it has to do with 'outside stresses' such as work, money, my going to graduate school, our wanting to buy a house and not live in an apartment any more. Most of these stresses are temporary so I know in the long run we will be alright!

Re: Do you get worried that the love will fade???

Re: Do you get worried that the love will fade???

Thanks for your responses

I really do not spend endless amount of time worrying about this, nor am I wondering if this will be 'the day' that I cannot take anymore, but I will admit it has crossed my mind from time to time.

I have seen and heard of people who were very much in love and committed to their mates, have this happen. It seems unbelievable.

Just wondering.

Re: Do you get worried that the love will fade???

Did anyone see Oprah...I think last week...There was a couple on who have been married for several years and love each other... but the love that they feel was more like a brother/sister type love?

Re: Do you get worried that the love will fade???

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Posted by WeDidIt!

Did anyone see Oprah...I think last week...There was a couple on who have been married for several years and love each other... but the love that they feel was more like a brother/sister type love?

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No, I did not see this, but thank you for posting this. They are probably more like roomates now instead of husband and wife. It happens

Re: Do you get worried that the love will fade???

At this point, no I'm not worried that our love will fade...I think it will get stronger.

However, that being said, there have been many couples who probably said the same thing and their love faded... ...so, I guess one can never really be sure.

Re: Do you get worried that the love will fade???

I agree that love evolves. To me it depends on the couple and whether or not they're growing together. Over the years I've seen many couples grow apart b/c they stop having things in common and they start having interests totally separate from one another. Don't get me wrong, you do have to be your individual self and have separate interests, but only to a certain point. If everything you and your partner do is separate, then growing apart is inevitable.

I also think that when you have kids it's imperative to make sure that you balance being mom and dad as well as husband and wife (there is a difference!). Sometimes people put everything they have into parenting and the intimacy suffers - at least that's been my observation. The key is balance and also making sure that you are growing together and staying connected. Keeping up with date nights, vacations, alone time, sex etc is very important in your growth!

Re: Do you get worried that the love will fade???

I do worry about it, Dh doesnt. But Im in the family therapy field ( grad student but parciting under supervision now) and so I hear alot of couples say how they were so in love and then many years later it went sour, I hear this so often that I think its embedded in my mind that this CAN happen. We have only been together three years and I am very much in love, but yes.I wonder about it. Especially because things are going so well that I feel its too good to be true, I feel I got too lucky!

Re: Do you get worried that the love will fade???

Re: Do you get worried that the love will fade???

KerrC, I'm with you darling. People at work call me 'chicken little'

Anyway, that's an interesting question....

I've been with my huband for almost eleven years too (in October/married four) and we have weathered massive storms in our marriage. Even though most of the time I feel like throwing in the towel, I'm still here. And that is the biggest difference between the men of the past and this relationship. I would give up in a second on the other guys but for some reason I just can't walk away, no matter how bad the situation becomes. Maybe I've grown and take my committment as serious as one could be? Or maybe it's because I could never see myself with anyone else because he is the other half of me. No one knows me the way he does - no one can still make me laugh (even being extremely pissed at them for one reason or another). No one 'fits' the way he does. I never find myself bored with things or have wandering interests (okay, except my band groupie thing I have occassionally, MichelleW! :) :) :) )

I always second guess tomorrow, but I'm learning just to live for today because no one knows what tomorrow will bring.

Re: Do you get worried that the love will fade???

you can never be certain but i try to get clues from couples such as my parents, who have been married 30 years!

Re: Do you get worried that the love will fade???

I have thought of it a time or 2 it used to consume me before, there is a peace that has come over me about it, a certain confidence in knowing that even if it does happen it was meant to be that way. Nothing is guaranteed, except death and taxes. I will love him for as long as the Lord allows me and I hope he loves me that much plus a day. Prayer changes things

Re: Do you get worried that the love will fade???

Shamma, that was Beautiful!

Re: Do you get worried that the love will fade???

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Posted by shamma

I have thought of it a time or 2 it used to consume me before, there is a peace that has come over me about it, a certain confidence in knowing that even if it does happen it was meant to be that way. Nothing is guaranteed, except death and taxes. I will love him for as long as the Lord allows me and I hope he loves me that much plus a day. Prayer changes things

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you always say the most profound things

Re: Do you get worried that the love will fade???