Family Issues...

I know most of the time, i overreact about....umm pretty much everything! but thats just how i am, i make something thats prob not a huge deal into one, but then i usually get over it real quick because i know in my head its not that big of a deal..

but this i cant seem to get over!! and its really starting to hurt my feeling and get me kinda pissed off.

background: chris' brothers and father live in jersey...as do most of his cousins and aunt and uncles. when we started dating chris and i were constantly in jersey! and still are there alot! (when we are invited) we always go out of our way to be there for events, and stuff like that!! i even drove to jersey (only my second time doing this the whole time with chris) to be at his sisters communtion cuz chris couldnt go cuz he was stuck at work

ok so you all know that we are having our DU-DA-Q well come to find out that chris one brother (who got married a month and a half after us) is coming to our bbq, but is wife is not) this is the 4th time she was invited to come by us, and didnt leaving chris' brother to come by himself. fine
Chris' other brother (who has not seen our house yet, and whose house we spent sooo much time at during our relationship) is unsure wether he is coming! when before picking the date, i asked if it would work with him knowing he has a crazy schedule and basically planned it that day cuz he said he would be able to make it!!! his father we havnet heard from if he is coming or not. and his aunt is ignoring me on facebook beecause she will most likely say no...cuz she wont drive to ny!! meanwhile she will get sooo offended if we dont go to her house for thanksgiving (i havent seen my family for thanksgiving in 5 years!!!)

I honestly feel like we are not part of the family! why cuz we live in ny??! really??!! they do stuff without us and dont even invite us over (meanwhile we would drive to jersey to hang out, maybe they are just figuring we wouldnt) and my BIL's wife, i feel needs to rub it in my face and act like she is soo close with the family...and is like wifey of the year or something!

im just soo over this! it really really hurts my feeling that chris' one brother could care less about our lives! same with the rest of them

why do i care! im sick of caring about everyone when nobody gives a **** about us!

sorry just in a wacky mood and needed to vent!

It's definitely not you -- it's the Jersey in them!!! I don't mean to insult any of the ladies from Jersey on here, but honestly, this is really, really normal, common behavior for Jersey people!!!

Quick story: my uncle and cousin (on my dad's side) live in Jersey. They *always* complain any time you even just invite them to NY. Thanksgiving was my dad & step mom's turn and they begrudgingly agreed to come since my grandparents were coming (this was many years ago before they passed away).

Since my step mom knew they wanted to come early to leave early so they could 'beat the traffic' (as if that's ever possible) she called dinner for noon. We worked our little booties off as always. They show up at 10:30 in the morning, but are miffed at the traffic. It took them 2 hours. (boo hoo)

They left before 2. We had barely finished putting the turkey away and were about to get the pies out of the oven, but they just HAD to beat the traffic back.

They were NEVER invited over again. My step mom took it as a personal attack on her that they'd rather run away to try to get home quickly than spend an extra hour in traffic to stay with us on Thanksgiving for an extra few hours. That Thanksgiving is still brought up as the 'final straw' in our home.

I don't get it at all. I've gone to Jersey many times -- for weddings, to visit people, to tour Kevin Smith cites. But people from NJ just refuse to come to NY, especially LI! I think they're jealous and have a high inferiority complex.

I'm so sorry you feel so slighted, and I think you have every right to feel that way!!! Try to chalk it up to the thoughtless, snotty ways of the New Jerseyans and remember it has NOTHING to do with you, as much as it seems like it does. By not leaving NJ, they can surround themselves in their little sad bubble of self pity.

Hopefully they'll just get over it because as we all know, they're very much missing out!!!!

p.s.- please no one take my anti-jersey rant personally!!! i'm really just talking about my uncle and cousin, but it does seem to apply here! there are some good people in jersey, i promise!!!

I dont have much advice, but wanted to send you hugs....sometimes families can just plain 'ol $uck!

Sorry babydoll!

aww jess im sorry..im totally with u guys on this one!!

they shoud def make the trip..this is ur first dudaque in ue new house and they should be there

Im sorry this is happening to you guys, family su cks sometimes

Jess I'm sorry this is happening. I know first hand how frustrating it can be since my in-laws including my BILs have visited our house a total of three times since we got it, including our wedding and our food tasting.

They even came 3 hours late to our e-party and left early.

im so sorry. its not exactly the same with us but ive definately had times that i have felt exactly the same with dhs fam and us always going to there houses all over the place and actually being happy to and then, noon comes to us.

im sorry i dont have any wise words of advice but just wanted to share some hugs