For the recently married....

before during or after your planning, were you disappointed in a family member or friend for letting you down or not coming through for you?

I have a family member who was married before us who I was in the wedding party and went all out for them and their wedding. Not that I expected it in return for MY wedding, but not nearly as much was 'returned'. I did what I did because it was my little brother, again not to get anything in return. Do I have the right to be upset? I am really hurt by this, am I taking it too personally?

Re: For the recently married....

I was disappointed until I tried to remember that the day is so important to me, but may not be for them...

although my sister and my relationship was really hurt with some of the things she did...but you just try to get over it...

Re: For the recently married....

Yes, I had several friends that I was disappointed in. But like Yabbobay said, just because it's the most important day to us, it's not the most important day to them. However, that said, seeing how much they did or did not care about my most important day showed to me how important I was in their eyes. If they cared about me as much as I about them, then they would have made my day a priority.

Re: For the recently married....

So many people were a disappointment, the bridal party most of all. I was very hurt and am still getting over it. I know that most of it was unintentional. In the end, I loved my wedding day and no one could take away any of my joy. I'm at the point now where I focus on the good memories and try to forget the not so good ones.

Re: For the recently married....

I had some disappointments with family and friends alike. It is true that no one values the day as much as you and your hubby do - but IMO, that is NO EXCUSE for hurtful behavior or lack of interest - whether it's intentional or not.

You have a right to your feelings about this no matter what others think. Your feelings are your feelings. But, only you can decide when is the right time to 'let go' of the hurt. The wedding is in the past now, and you cannot change what is done.

Re: For the recently married....

Thanks for the feedback...just to add more...it wasnt that my day was ruined, just afterwards I looked back and was disappointed in the different actions that were taken. My attitude was 'its my brothers WEDDING, he only gets married once (hopefully) - like it was such a HUGE day. I felt his attitude was like it was a 'friends' wedding, not his only sisters....I KNOW I will get over it in time, it just really bothers me and I dont want to say anything because I dont want to create problems...I just have to take it like it is and what makes it even HARDER is that we are close in age so we will start families together as well and I have to go foward knowing this and keeping my distance because I dont want to get hurt again. IMO -- their actions were very selfish

Re: For the recently married....

I dont know any bride who didnt have some friendship that was changed forever - if not completely ended by some really inappropriate/hurtful behavior by someone they thought was their good friend.

On the flip side, we all have the stories of people who went above and beyond and really touched you with their actions.

Weddings tend to bring out the worst in some, the best in others.

For the friend that I 'lost', I look at it as a positive thing. Yes, Im disguisted with her behavior but at least I know who she truly is and I dont waste one more minute on her. Not that it excuses her at all, but better to find out now than later.

Re: For the recently married....

beautifully put Stef!

Re: For the recently married....

Not married yet but feel EXACTLY as Stef

Re: For the recently married....

Yes I had some. I was thinking about them today too. Sometimes I get upset about it but then I remind myself I have to get over it.

Ditto Stef as well.

It really was worth it to see the true colors of some people.

Take care sweetie and try your best not to let others steal your joy.