I am wondering if I am the only one who am experiencing this...I went back to work this week...I am a teacher and everyone and I mean everyone asked me what my new name was...I told them it was the same as before...they all especially the women kinda looked at me tilted their heads and gave me a weird kind of look...as if saying really you dont love your husband do you...one person said you not ready yet huh...i kinda felt like saying why the hell do i need to change my name just cause i got married...instead i just kinda smiled...the plan was to be hypheranated (spelling) however my maiden name is very long and it just seems easier...so my question is do you feel like you need to defend yourself when you explain you are keeping your maiden name
Goldi1021
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Re: for those of you who kept your name
I say good for you! Many of you who know me know that I am a traditionalist at heart. I gladly took my husband's last name even though it was more difficult to spell and pronounce than mine. That was my choice. And even so, I still get comments as to why I CHANGED it when mine was much more simple to keep. The bottom line is that you do NOT have to justify your actions to anyone. Just as I've told people that changing my name doesnt make me any less of a family member than my brother, NOT changing your name doesn't make you any less of a supportive wife. Try not to let it bother you.
cindyandkevin
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Re: for those of you who kept your name
I did change my name but that was something that I wanted to do for me, not bc it was expected by society.
I'm glad that you did what made you happy and I applaud you for it!!! I'm sorry that people have been giving you a hard time and questioning your choice. That's terrible, I hope they can open up their minds a little!!
summer06bride
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Re: for those of you who kept your name
thanks ladies for your support
kathrynlinton
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Re: for those of you who kept your name
When my parents got married (1972) my mom tried not to change her name. So, when she went back to school everyone knew she had gotten married, so they called her Mrs. Maiden name when she said she didn't change her name.
She finally just changed her name.
EJSD2006
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Re: for those of you who kept your name
i havent changed my name yet . i am in the process of changing my citizenship status so i cant change it until everything is finalized. people have asked me what my new last name is and i say 'i havent changed it yet'. then they just assume that i'm putting it off because i dont want to.
people make dumb assumptions and its frustrating, especially the ones that you barely even know! but dont let them make you angry....
stephanielyse
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.
DUCKS2001
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Re: for those of you who kept your name
SCREW THE PEOPLE AT YOUR JOB ITS YOUR CHOICE NOT THIERS!
I WANTED TO CHANGE MY NAME, BUT THIS DAY IN AGE WE HAVE A CHOICE!
ssdbk
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Re: for those of you who kept your name
I didn't change my name. I am having the same experience as you are. People have comments.
My pet peeve is being called Mrs. 'Maiden Name' by people who think they are respecting my wishes. It's not meant to be rude but it gets under my skin and I want to correct people. I didn't marry my father! It should either be Ms. 'Maiden Name' or Mrs. 'Husband's name.'
NPbride
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Re: for those of you who kept your name
Posted by ssdbk
My pet peeve is being called Mrs. 'Maiden Name' by people who think they are respecting my wishes. It's not meant to be rude but it gets under my skin and I want to correct people. I didn't marry my father! It should either be Ms. 'Maiden Name' or Mrs. 'Husband's name.'
I completely agree! We just got an invitation and it was addressed to Mr. DH and Mrs. first name maiden name. My mother is MRs. maiden name not me!!! Same thing happened on an placecard at a wedding. ***?
DH's family, who gossips about e/t, hasn't even told any of the extended family I haven't changed my name so I'm sure they think it's an issue but they don't actually say a/t about it.
How do you go about telling people you kept your last name? I feel like I'm being a little obnoxious if I just bring it up out of the blue. But his family keeps sending us stuff to Mr. and Mrs. DH's name and I know it really shouldn't but it irks me a little!
I actually saw a doctor that I've seen since I was younger and he asked me what my new name was. When I said it's still Maiden name he actually said you can do that? And he's only in his 40's it's not like he's a much older gentleman!
kathrynlinton
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Re: for those of you who kept your name
My SIL kept her name and my BIL changed his name to hers, but she goes by Mrs Maidenname! On purpose. I think that is so bizarre
summer06bride
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Re: for those of you who kept your name
I actually saw a doctor that I've seen since I was younger and he asked me what my new name was. When I said it's still Maiden name he actually said you can do that? And he's only in his 40's it's not like he's a much older gentleman!
That is too funny
MrsD06
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Re: for those of you who kept your name
I changed my name but a lot of people at work (I'm in a school, too) asked me IF I was changing my name which surprised me. (I guess tact surprises me! )
july06bride
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Re: for those of you who kept your name
You dont need to justify yourself-although I am sure it seems like that at times...
I hyphenated my name and I still get people asking why didnt I just change it? WHY do I need to explain my opinions and feelings to YOU?
klingklang77
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Member since
Re: for those of you who kept your name
i didnt change my name and i get that, too. alot of people have been understanding, but a few people question it. i just shrug it off. i am fine with keeping my name and DH was fine with me keeping my name, i do not need to justify my beliefs to anyone. people will ask why and i say b/c i wanted that and i also had a few immigration issues that made it pretty confusing to change my name within a certain time period.
ETA: i do not think DH's family was thrilled about it, they never said anything to my face, but they have never been supportive about it either. actually, i think his father was pretty disappointed about it.
CLMon7906
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Member since
Re: for those of you who kept your name
It's a personal choice....and for all those concerned about what your kids will be called, most people I know who've gone this route, give the kids DH's name...when you're married, I think the kids automatically get the father's name no matter what [at least, that is how it was in NC].
On christmas cards and whatnot, you can be called mrs. hislastname...but that doesn't diminish your choice or who you are. We have a close friend who refuses to change her name....on cards, she uses her DH's name...but legally and at work, her maiden name.
I plan to change mine...I just haven't had time...DH is far from concerned...although jokingly at the town hall when the lady asked if I would take his name, he did the 'yes!' fist...guys are crazy.
ssdbk
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Member since
Re: for those of you who kept your name
Were we at the same wedding? That just happened to me!
Your doctor saying that is shocking!
I told DH's family only as it came up. And I lessened the blow by telling them that I don't care if I get social mail with his last name. I made it clear that my legal name has not changed.
Posted by NPbride
Posted by ssdbk
My pet peeve is being called Mrs. 'Maiden Name' by people who think they are respecting my wishes. It's not meant to be rude but it gets under my skin and I want to correct people. I didn't marry my father! It should either be Ms. 'Maiden Name' or Mrs. 'Husband's name.'
I completely agree! We just got an invitation and it was addressed to Mr. DH and Mrs. first name maiden name. My mother is MRs. maiden name not me!!! Same thing happened on an placecard at a wedding. ***?
DH's family, who gossips about e/t, hasn't even told any of the extended family I haven't changed my name so I'm sure they think it's an issue but they don't actually say a/t about it.
How do you go about telling people you kept your last name? I feel like I'm being a little obnoxious if I just bring it up out of the blue. But his family keeps sending us stuff to Mr. and Mrs. DH's name and I know it really shouldn't but it irks me a little!
I actually saw a doctor that I've seen since I was younger and he asked me what my new name was. When I said it's still Maiden name he actually said you can do that? And he's only in his 40's it's not like he's a much older gentleman!
LadyPrincess
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Member since
Re: for those of you who kept your name
i used my married name on most docs, and hypended on the marr.cert for legal reasons ir my degrees etc are still in my maiden name. it really is a personal choice
JMHO
SUNSHINE24
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Re: for those of you who kept your name
I kept my last name and people talk smack about it all the time. A lot of my guy friends say they wouldnt have married me if i didnt take there last name. My grandfather just wrote me a check with my husbands last name on it. I guess some people just dont want to give up the 'traditional' way of thinking.
LaurenluvsTJ
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Re: for those of you who kept your name
I haven't changed mine yet, and I guess I am lucky, I haven't had any questioning. Not one person has asked me about why I haven't changed it... I have used his last name on some things though. I am going to change it, because I want us to have the same name, but I don't think it is anyone's business but yours what you decide to do with your last name.
