i just need to know someone from outside my familys opinion on the topic of wedding gifts. i was married in jan and received many generous gifts. but there were a few who gave me like 100 dollars for 2 people. i wouldnt have even given it a second thought if it was from someone that couldnt afford more. but here is the question one of the couples is also getting married this year!!!! what gift do i give them? my friends say give what i received but i cant do that i would feel embarrassed. the guy is a close friend and ex partner of my D.H. what do i do? P.s There having it at a less expensive place then mine. dont think im Beotch!!!
ChristineC68
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Re: gift question? hope it doesnt sound petti
I would give what I normally give. The cost of the place shouldn't matter. If you would be embarrassed giving less, why do that to yourself?
nrvbrd
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Re: gift question? hope it doesnt sound petti
I would give what I normally give.
janwinterbridejoy
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THANKS!! thats what i figured but i just needed to here others besides me say it thanks
alina
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Re: gift question? hope it doesnt sound petti
ditto.
ss2002
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It's very tempting to go tit-for-tat, but I'd take the high road and give what you'd usually give for a gift.
janwinterbridejoy
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i think the is getting me upset about the whole thing is that it wasnt even 100 dollars it was a j.c penney gift card lol. i felt it was a re gift. my d.h thinks its funny lol but being a girl im a little hurt. i guess i can use it to buy her a shower gift LMAO
ChristineC68
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Re: gift question? hope it doesnt sound petti
There you go - the gift is going to good use.
They may be having a hard time with wedding expenses. We all know how hard and stressful it can be. We never know other people's financial situations so it's best to not pay too close attention to them (JMHO)
Mary
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Re: gift question? hope it doesnt sound petti
Depending on who it is, we usually have a range for what we give. I would give what I normally give, but on the lower end of the scale.
HearzBellz
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I had one person that INTENTIONALLY gave less than she normally would b/c she was upset that I did not ask her to be a BM..... I will be a BEOTCH to her....but normally, I would take the high road.
Please, we got some that were $50 from three people....... I makes me wonder.....
janwinterbridejoy
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i kind of think it was done on purpose to because they arent poor and arent paying for the wedding lol. but i will take the high road lol. i had a friend get married the week before me and she got 50.00 for a family of 5 lol now thats bad!!!!
HearzBellz
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OMG.....that doesn't even cover one drink for each of them
I have to say, I did not put too much thought into what people may give sd gifts, but when I cracked open a couple of those envelopes, I was surprised.... (good & bad)
dcwife
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Re: gift question? hope it doesnt sound petti
I wouldn't give what I normally give-- I would maybe give 150. If the people were struggling or just out of school or something then I would give what I normally give.
janwinterbridejoy
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the craziest thing was i opened the gifts were thge people that i knew coulkdnbt afford a big gift and i even told a few of my out of work friends not to give me anything give big gifts and the ones that you thought could afford didnt lol. i would have had the wedding with out any gifts at all
mv1003
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Re: gift question? hope it doesnt sound petti
Actually, I was on the receiving end of your question! I was highly disappointed when our friends went tit for tat on our wedding. When we attended their wedding, my 'bf' at the time, now DH, was in school and didn't work. We gave them (I gave them) what I thought was a generous gift, being I was the only one making $$ and they were HIS friends. Fast forward 3 years later to our wedding, they gave us exactly what we gave them.
Maybe I'm a biaoach for thinking they were cheap! I know their situation, and they're very well off. So, in a sense, I did look down on them- yup, looked a gift horse right in the mouth! I thought, gee, they could've given us more, yet, chose NOT to b/c of what they gave them. DH said it's not what's important, and it's not.
Stick to your heart. We have a few weddings this year, and we're not giving what we were given. We're giving what we normally would give. (which is more than what we got).
Becky
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Re: gift question? hope it doesnt sound petti
I give what I want to give and try not to think about what someone has given to me. You should base your decision on how close you are to the couple, what you can afford and what you are comfortable with.
shelzyp
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I will give what i get for the low gift givers too.
If I felt mad, i certainly wouldnot give my mornal amount, maybe raise it up a bit, but not my normal.
My cousin is getting marreid this year, to a girl that is living in anohter country and can't come here without a fiance visa, so they will be getting married. I am giving him $100, what he gave me, and I know the place I got marreid at will be so much more then his will be. I lost money on him and a guest (a friedn of his) coming ot my wedding.
I know it is petty, but I am sick of being the sucker!!
sonia
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Re: gift question? hope it doesnt sound petti
i'd take into account what they gave before i gave a gift. unless they have a good reason that you know of to give you that much, i'd give less too. but that's just me
dcwife
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Re: gift question? hope it doesnt sound petti
I have read many of the posts on this board that are about gifts and the proper amounts and the responses would lead you to believe that everyone gives between 300-500 dollars a wedding, when in reality most gifts we received were between 150-250. I do not consider it being petty that if someone considers 150 a good wedding gift I am going to give them 150 (their version of a good gift) not 300. It might make them feel bad if you gave them twice as much as you gave them. If they gave me more than I gave them I would feel bad, and I would also feel bad not giving them as much as they gave me.
februarybride
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Re: gift question? hope it doesnt sound petti
I'd say that most people give back what they get. I was in a similar situation last year. A couple came to our wedding and gave nothing - not even a card! 8 months later they got married...we didn't know what to do. We wanted to give nothing but we couldn't. We gave them what we'd give normally to a distant friend - still a very generous gift - but just not as generous as we would have given. And to boot --- we NEVER got a Thank you!
