Having a tough day :(

I just need a little vent ... if you feel like reading a bunch of cr@p then read on ...

I'm so frustrated with my job situation. I have wanted to quit for almost 9 months now and I am still here. I graduated from college wanting to be an editor and for the first two and a half years after, I was. I worked at a small trade publication and made a salary so tiny that I now make almost $30K more than that (and I don't make much!!!). I took my current job (mostly secretarial/admin) because it was a lot more money and much more secure. It was OK at first but I quickly grew to hate it for many reasons. Mostly though, I frequently feel very under appreciated and overworked. It gets to the point where I spend a lot of Sunday nights crying in anticipation of going to work the next day.

A major part of the problem is that in the latter part of 2011 DH and I are planning to start TTC. Once we do (god willing) and have kids, I am going to stay at home until they're in school full-time, and then I'll work part-time (likely). I am so lucky that we can afford this plan. But it means that I'm sort of stuck where I am/what I'm doing because a) I make a pretty decent salary and we're saving/paying bills, b) an entry-level job elsewhere will probably be a pay cut of $15-20K, c) I feel like I can't start over in a new field because by the time I get to that point I will be trying for a baby and having to quit.

DH has always said he will support whatever decision I choose in terms of what I want to do with my life. If I want to quit this job and devote my time to looking for a new one, he'll support me. If I want him to help me apply to jobs while I keep this one, he'll support me. But today when I was talking to him during my lunch hour, it sounded like while he says he is being supportive, he really doesn't see why I need a new job/new field because I'm only going to quit in a year or two to have kids anyway. I feel like he just wishes I would scuk it up and hang onto the job until that day comes.

I just feel so lost. I had a terrible college experience and struggled so much and despite taking an involuntary semester off, wound up graduating on time, which was a huge accomplishment. I struggled so hard and so much and I just feel like when I look around I have nothing to show for it. I feel so insignificant and I just never imagined I would wind up here, and I don't know how to change it because I don't know what I want to do or how to do it. I feel like I expected and demanded so much more of myself and I've made nothing of my life. I hate my job, I am miserable, and apparently I'm unqualified to do much of anything despite my college degree.

I hope I don't sound ungrateful. I know so many of you are unemployed and struggling. But I feel like I am wasting my life waking up day after day miserable. I feel like I owe myself so much more than this. I just don't know how to get there.

Thanks for letting me vent ... I've been crying all day over this and I think DH is tired of hearing this same sob story over and over again ...

Awwwww! I totally hear you about going through years of college and having nothing to show for it! Its really depressing! You have to do whatever makes you happy Marissa! Life is too short to go day by day felling miserable!

ok first off

second..i dont think ur ungrateful at all..yes u have a job but its a sucky one and somtme swe need to vent

ok i think u should eave and here is why...

1.2011 is a while away and say u got prggo right away..ud still work till u pop right?

ok thats a long time hating to go somewhere till then...i mean its one thing to say oh i hate my job..but if ur crying on sundays..u need to go asap

u guys have saved so keep doing that while u look..and when u find something..even if its less money,i just think u will be better off because u will be happier all around..and if u have to leave in 2 years..so be it...people leave jobs all the time and esp if u want to be home with the baby..i cant think of a better reason

this is my motto..life is just too short..u never know what can happen tommorrow so im going to enjoy today...

u deserve to be happy everyday..bottom lin..no other reason and if this job is giving u crap..then screw them!!!!

hth and tat u feel better..i dont want u crying ur brthday week

sorry you are feeling that way. Unfortunately I feel the same way you do every single sunday, so much so that I caused myself tohave false labor...

If I had not gotten pregnant, next year I would have looked for another job. Unfortunately I am stuck here, until we have saved and DH is done with his 'Apprenticeship'
where then he will be making double what both od us are making now...

If you have the chance, do it....

BELIEVE ME I know what you are going through. I am going through nearly the same situation myself ver batem, except I never got the opportunity to be employed in what I love, and I have always, and continue to make, jack shiz. Every day I feel like graduating with a 4.0 GPA was a waste, because people who are a LOT dumber than me are making a lot more than me. OK, maybe that sounds bishy, but I think I deserve to get a little bent about it. And I too feel stuck...only DH isn't very supportive about it at all, he wants me to find another job, has very little respect for what I do, and of course I find it hard not to equate that with having very little respect for ME, because unfortunately this defines me, at least for now. So I know what you're going through, and I wish I could offer advice, but I don't have any because I'm still trying to figure it out for myself.

Wanna go in to business together? The both of us are pretty funny...I think we could make our fortune blogging or something

Thanks girls.

The problem for me is that while I am fully prepared to leave my job - I don't know where to go/what to do. I somehow holed myself into this secretarial stuff and it's just not what I want - but I don't know what I DO want, either. Literally, no clue. I've devoted so much time to thinking and exploring other options and I just come up empty handed ...

And Ali ... YES ... let's make a blog ... that is my secret dream!

im sorry you are feeling this way. I would find another job if you can, you dont want to be miserable! who cares how many jobs you have to go through till you find the right one. good luck hun!

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Posted by julesrbf

Thanks girls.

The problem for me is that while I am fully prepared to leave my job - I don't know where to go/what to do. I somehow holed myself into this secretarial stuff and it's just not what I want - but I don't know what I DO want, either. Literally, no clue. I've devoted so much time to thinking and exploring other options and I just come up empty handed ...

And Ali ... YES ... let's make a blog ... that is my secret dream!

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even if its just to pass the time while u r still working here just browse the want ads..craigs list..etc etc..u never know

also find someone who works in the fils u want to be in...i bet someone on here does..and maybe the can keep an ear open for you

awww...

in a way i know exactly how you feel. it's really hard to have worked SO hard to graduate, do well in school, etc...only to find yourself at the end of a rope you didn't want to be hanging on in the first place.

i've wasted YEARS of my life trying to find a position on long island, watched friends have babies, move, buy houses... i'm still here, duct-taping pieces of my truck back on, struggling to make ends meet and feeling INCREDIBLE pressure (both internal and external) to have a baby... i'm basically moving in a few months (with the hopes of getting a job elsewhere...) but that means, starting at square one. all over again, ...

that being said... in the end, you only live one life, once. you only get to feel happy or sad, fulfilled or unhappy, i've come to realize that in the end, you need to make decision based on what makes sense, what will lead to happiness and what you can live with until you get there... and it cannot outweigh what you truly desire in life, and if you feel like you're just spinning wheels in the sand, and you'll be able to take some time to start your family soon, 2011 is still a long way away and you deserve to feel something JUST FOR YOU in the meantime. would it feel better to try to branch out and go for something more like what you want? or stay where you are, stick it out and escape 1 year+ from now? whichever you decide, you have to decide to live with and be happy that you directly chose that path.

i'm sorry you feel that way though! you deserve to be so happy and i hope that whatever you decide, you can feel happy on sunday nights instead! :o) if you ever need to vent, you can always FM - i MORE THAN understand where you're coming from!! :o) and can always offer at least a cosmic hug and ear!

Thank you all so much - I really appreciate the kind replies. It's just hard sometimes to not feel so down about things. Thanks everyone

Im sorry

I wish I had advice for you or a way to help, but all I can do is send you hugs and hope that whatever you decide to do, you find happiness with it.




These are not easy times and those are not easy decisions, but you are a smart person who will make the right decision! I have tons of faith in you and that you'll be happy!!!!!!!!!

Awwww, Marissa, sweetie, I'm going to pray for you!!!! My Daughters struggle with similar issues. The workplace today is tough, isn't it? So, lots of hugs and prayers for you!!!! Mary MOB

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. In today's job market you can generally get into any area if you start from the bottom and work your way up. If you don't want to go back to school, you may need to take a pay cut to go into your field of choice. But don't quit before you find a new job! Just keep looking and keeping your options open. You WILL find something better, so don't force yourself to stay put and not move forward because of fear.

just wanted to give you some hugs...i feel that way too on Sundays...i a lucky that i don't hate my job as much but sometimes I just worry that I am meant to be doing something else...hang in there sweetheart!

Marissa honey - I just want to send lots of hugs & prayers for you. I agree w/ what a lot of the above posters have said, and in the end - YOU need to be happy & feel fulfilled. Ive been a little consumed w/ some personal stuff today but want you to know you're in my prayers honey. luv u.

I just want to clarify - since apparently there is confusion - I'm not staying in my job in case I get pregnant in two years. It is a reason I feel I fear starting over, either in grad school or in a new field, but the fact of the matter is that I've been applying to things since August. I've gotten a few bites that haven't gone anywhere because I realize that the job isn't remotely what I want to do ... Which would be ok if only I could find something I DID want to do.

Whatever ... It's all one big negative cycle I can't seem to break and I was just having a low self esteem day. I don't even know why I feel the need to justify myself.

Thanks to all who've reached out with hugs and constructive ideas.

Marissa!!!!!!!!!!!


I know how you feel-I was really unhappy in my previous position which I held for 6 years.

My advice-start looking for something new now!! If you aren't going to start TTC for another year and a half, why suffer?? Like Jenny said, the stress can take such a toll on your well being, you should be happy or at least satisfied with what you're doing!!

Gail was right, life is too short to be unhappy!

ETA: Just read that you clarified that you wanted something new. I'm here to say DO IT!!!! My new position couldn't be more opposite than my previous job. I love the challenge and I'm happy to learn and utilize new skills.

So I say go for it and try something totally new!


I hope this makes you feel better, because I was in your shoes not too long ago. And I'm here to tell you that you deserve to be happy in whatever job you do

xoxoxo

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Posted by GT143EA

Awwwww! I totally hear you about going through years of college and having nothing to show for it! Its really depressing! You have to do whatever makes you happy Marissa! Life is too short to go day by day felling miserable!

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agreed!!