hmm, in-laws offered us their house...

AL mentioned to his mom that we'd be house shopping when we move, and his mom told him to buy their house. That they want to get out and get something smaller.

Al's wondering how his siblings would feel about us getting the house, and if anyone would mind us remodeling (of which we would do alot - not because the house is in bad shape, but just to suit our tastes and open up the floor plan)

We're just tossing around the idea, and we'd need to talk details about what $$ they'd want for it, etc. But otherwise I don't know if we'd be able to afford a house that size right now (Colonial, 4 bedroom, 3.5 bath, full basement, 2 car garage), in Commack, in great shape, with a big yard (~an acre of land).

It may be too good a deal to pass up, especially if they're ok with us remodeling. Their mortgage is paid off and I have a feeling we'd get a deep discount, and they'd be so excited to be able to help us out. We could also potentially take out a lower mortgage and just pay his parents the difference directly (as a loan).

hmm, no bidding wars, no endless searching, a great house for a steal - its very enticing. Al mentioned that we'd miss out on the 'romance' () of the house hunt and finding 'our' home, but I think we can experience that making this 'our' home (with endless home improvement projects).

-did I mention my parents live literally around the corner, 5 houses away? I don't think I could live that close to his family, but I think I can with mine.

ok, give me pros and cons to think about...

Re: hmm, in-laws offered us their house...

I can't think of one con! As long as they are ok with your remodeling,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Run and take it! It sounds like an amazing deal!

Re: hmm, in-laws offered us their house...

I'd go for it. I wish something like that would happen to me!

We are saving to have a BIG DP. I do not want a big mortgage so I say go for it! Sounds awesome!

Re: hmm, in-laws offered us their house...

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Posted by mlp924

I can't think of one con! As long as they are ok with your remodeling,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Run and take it! It sounds like an amazing deal!

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My thoughts exactly

Oh and can I mention I am completely jealous. If you don't want it we can trade I will take the house and you can have our apartment- heck I will even throw in the neighbors from Hell for free

Re: hmm, in-laws offered us their house...

Sounds like a great deal to me

Re: hmm, in-laws offered us their house...

It sounds too good to be true!!

I hope it works out for you and Al!!

Re: hmm, in-laws offered us their house...

sounds like the opportunity of a lifetime!

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incredible! good luck!

Re: hmm, in-laws offered us their house...

thanks girls! This is still VERY preliminary. They only talked about it for a minute, and Al & I are just exploring the possibilities.

I'm sure we'll go into more details over Christmas, but thinking it could happne sure is exciting!

Re: hmm, in-laws offered us their house...

Maybe you should do a little 'house hunting' while you're home during Christmas to get a sense of what the market has to offer in your price range...that might 'help' to make your decision I think it sounds like a good deal...but, you need to also consider other things like...is your MIL the type to be hurt by changes you might make? You don't want to put yourself in a position where you'll never hear the end of something.

And, with your family living so close - that doesn't feel too much like 'Everybody Loves Raymond' to you? My family always lived within just a few blocks of one another, and sometimes it really stunk to feel like you couldn't fart without someone in the family knowing about it. JMO.

Believe me, house hunting is not romantic, and if you and Al are both agreeable to everything about this situation, than it's a no-brainer! A 4 Br colonial in Commack on an acre is a find!

Re: hmm, in-laws offered us their house...

The only con I could think of is if your in laws are the types that will feel it's still 'their' home and that they helped you guys out so much that now they can drop by anytime they like. Also, when they're over, will they walk around opening closets, and going from room to room like it's still their house..These are the types of things that would drive me nuts. Also, I wouldn't want to feel like I owe them anything. But if you won't have these issues, then I would TAKE IT AND RUN!!!

Re: hmm, in-laws offered us their house...

If it was HIS family living so close, I wouldn't even consider it. But I can manage my parents pretty well, so it wouldn't be an episode of Everyone Loves Raymond (in fact when my parents first got married they lived only a block or two away from my dad's parents, so they know their boundries).

One of the things we would need to get straight is that it would be OUR house, and they would need to be OK with any changes, or its not going to work.

My in-laws are VERY private people so there's no way they'd be opening closets and acting like they own the place. They're just not that casual about things like that. In fact they tend to err on the side of too distant, rather than too familiar.

I'm really not opposed to family dropping by - we're moving back to NY to be closer to family. I couldn't imagine not stopping by my sisters or parents whenever. Thats just not how we work. If it gets to be a problem we can deal with it directly, but everyones pretty respectful of our lives.

Like I said, there's a lot of discussion to be had...

Re: hmm, in-laws offered us their house...

Lisa I can completely give advice on this!

I have one older, and one younger sister. My mom and dad owned a home where we grew up in Westchester County - BEAUTIFUL four bedroom home with 2 acres of land, farmhouse, in a really exclusive area. My younger sister got married in January and they were really looking to find something in Westchester but couldnt' even begin to find something they could afford. They struck a deal with my parents, and they bought the place and moved in. They have done lots of renovations, and nobody seems to mind at all! I am really happy because we can still have holidays there, etc. (my parents retired to Boston - my dad still has an apartment in the area for part time work). I love having it as home base and not having to have lost it to another family.

However, that said - The one thing that did bother me is that my sister ended up 'acquiring' a lot of great things that were in the house, things that maybe I would have liked, but it's okay. I love her and she can have whatever she wants. (I dont' know how my older sister feels about this. )They kept the $ negotiation between them as well. We (my sister and I ) have no idea what the financial agreement was, though we do know that they paid for it. Not what it's worth obviously - but they paid for it. When I go there I totally dont' feel like it's my mom's house - it completely feels like hers and her husbands. Though it is sometimes hard to remember that I shouldn't open the refrigerator and stand in front of it for hours just looking in there.

Re: hmm, in-laws offered us their house...

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Posted by jenny11.9

I love having it as home base and not having to have lost it to another family.

Though it is sometimes hard to remember that I shouldn't open the refrigerator and stand in front of it for hours just looking in there.

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First sentence - very good point! Our family homes hold so many memories!!

Second sentence - I am LMFAO at you, Jenny (again!). That is soooo true - my brother does this at my Mom's house ALL the time!

Re: hmm, in-laws offered us their house...

If they are going to discount it, I would say it would be a no brainer..you would have immediate equity in the house!! Which also means if you wanted to remodel you can get a equity loan ASAP at pretty low rates now!!

Like you said Commack is pretty expensive, I grew up in East Northport not that far from Commack and to live in Commack it is such a nice area would be fantastic!

Let us know what happens and good luck!

Re: hmm, in-laws offered us their house...

Sounds like a great opportunity and deal. Give youself some time to think about. I am sure you and your husband will come up with right decision.

Re: hmm, in-laws offered us their house...

Lisa that sounds too good to be true. If in this situation my concerns would be - I don't think I could ever feel like it was my own or I would feel bad about renovating and since DH is very close to his family - I know that he would have problems with making changes to suit our style. You would know best how Al will be when it comes to this. Also, like DKA1026 said above - will they still act like it is theirs - since I am assuming that they lived there a long time, I am sure it would be hard for them not say 'our house'. Again you would know best. Finally sibling competition....yikes..in my situation it would never work out. Again you know best. Are all of his siblings out of NY - if so - then I doubt it would be a problem - again you know best.

But on the pro's - great deal, close to your family (which is big for you), no hassle of house hunting or stress, etc. Also, keeps the family memories of the house they grew up in with the family. Sounds ideal!

Good Luck with your decision.

PS House hunting was not a 100% fun process. You won't be missing out on much. But like Claud said, while you are home try stopping in on open houses and stuff and see what is out there. Even after you move, you can still do open houses. Even after buying the house I plan to live in forever, I am still tempted just to look around when I see open house signs.

Re: hmm, in-laws offered us their house...

Two things that would concern me:
a) You said you think his family might mind the renovating which makes me think you are worried they would still have some claim over the house b/c they gave you a discount on it. If you think (even a little) that they might hold it over your heads, its a definite con b/c you might have to hear about this for the rest of your life.
and
b) The sibliings might be very envious that you got a deal they did not have an opportunity to get AND you are taking some of what would be theirs when the parents pass away.

I have a friend whose parent did just what you are considering. They bought their mothers house for a discount and lived in it for 30 years. Even to this day - the siblings and family talk about how the one daughter was given the house (even though she paid for it) and how the other sister was not, etc. etc.. Its a very bad situation despite 3 decades going by.

I think it takes an incredibly mature and caring and generous family to 'give' things to each other without holding grudges. Even if a few family members are the mean spirited ones, it might taint the joy of owning this house forever.

Only you know what these people are like but I would definitely suggest listening to your gut instincts on this.

Re: hmm, in-laws offered us their house...

I know a situation that Stef described, with the siblings still be envious. I would also have concerns on whether I would feel that the house was totally mine. But all in all, if everyone is on board, I think it's a great opportunity!

Good Luck!

Re: hmm, in-laws offered us their house...

Sounds like a great deal. GOod Luck!!