Honestly.

---

Posted by LIBrideinBWI

I am coming out of lurker mode for this one.....

Caz- you have NOTHING to explain to ANYONE. Especially that twit.

Having Aidan DID save your life. Hell, he saved ALL of our lives. We were all being pulled into different directions and slowly drifting apart. That *little mistake* gave our family a new purpose, a different drive. It drew us closer than I ever thought possible. Honestly, I don't know where we'd all be if HE never came to be.

People look at our family and because they can't believe a family could be thatclose yet live so far away from each other. That one little mistake, that 'oops', that supposed *lapse in judgement* is the very core of what makes this family tick. It's almost unfair to Maddie and Jake- they will always be the grandbabies (and loved to pieces), but Aidan will always be this family's heart.

If anyone wants to 'shake thier head' about it- fine, but you are selling yourself short. Walk a mile in my sister's or any other single mother's shoes....THEN you can have a true opinion on the matter.

To Hamptonsbride- I know you meant no ill will in your response, and Caroline asked for opinions. I admire you for being honest- so many people on these boards (LIF included) sugarcoat everything to the point of being nauseating. I DO want to give you another perspective on your friends' situation.

By the time you reach your 30's, you begin to realize that having a baby may be what is most important, not finances. When DH and I decided to TTC our daughter- we were in the process of selling our house (at below what it was worth), paying a huge mortgage, I was not working and in grad school, HE was killing himself working overtime and we were just barely making our bills. By the way, I have 60,000 in student loans and had $$$$$ credit card debt at the time. People like you were probably about our decision to have DD. But, at 33, I was NOT willing to wait longer because having a child was more important than being *financial ready*.

Moral of the story? You do what is best for you. You make it work- it ALWAYS does wind up working out in the end.

---

Ladies.. meet my lovely sister.

Thanks alot Amy, now I'm sitting at my desk in tears!!!

[love you so much]

---

Posted by jtgarsik

not to start anything - because i do understand what ur saying, but now you're actually the one who's judging. I was raised with a very strong christian foundation but was brought up to never judge ANYONE...and my entire church was filled with great people who felt the same way.. this makes me sad & annoyed when people say things like this & i feel i need to stand up for myself...because yes again, i DO understand what you're saying because i do think there are FAR to many so called 'christians' who do judge & create the stereotype..but please know that there are actually a lot of christians that are not like this, and truly just show God's love in the way it's supposed to be shown.. I was always taught that people's business is their business between them & God and not for anyone else to tiptoe in on...God himself never judged..heck - we all know Jesus even loved the prostitutes & murderes so why should we?? I also think there are a TON of non-religious people who still judge the situation because they're from an older generation or feel a certain way like the above posters were saying and there are a ton of non-religious people that are also pro-life for their own moral...

anyways, just had to comment...sorry! no hard feelings i hope!

---

Nah no hard feelings - didn't say every religious person either
I just despise the ones that have to spit fire but yet have no solution to the situation. You were one of the lucky ones that had enough sense (and your church had enough sense) to at least be true to the teachings of love, respect and not to cast stones at each other. I was unfort raised in a church and religious community that was not tolerant.

---

Posted by LIBrideinBWI

I am coming out of lurker mode for this one.....

Caz- you have NOTHING to explain to ANYONE. Especially that twit.

Having Aidan DID save your life. Hell, he saved ALL of our lives. We were all being pulled into different directions and slowly drifting apart. That *little mistake* gave our family a new purpose, a different drive. It drew us closer than I ever thought possible. Honestly, I don't know where we'd all be if HE never came to be.

People look at our family and because they can't believe a family could be thatclose yet live so far away from each other. That one little mistake, that 'oops', that supposed *lapse in judgement* is the very core of what makes this family tick. It's almost unfair to Maddie and Jake- they will always be the grandbabies (and loved to pieces), but Aidan will always be this family's heart.

If anyone wants to 'shake thier head' about it- fine, but you are selling yourself short. Walk a mile in my sister's or any other single mother's shoes....THEN you can have a true opinion on the matter.

To Hamptonsbride- I know you meant no ill will in your response, and Caroline asked for opinions. I admire you for being honest- so many people on these boards (LIF included) sugarcoat everything to the point of being nauseating. I DO want to give you another perspective on your friends' situation.

By the time you reach your 30's, you begin to realize that having a baby may be what is most important, not finances. When DH and I decided to TTC our daughter- we were in the process of selling our house (at below what it was worth), paying a huge mortgage, I was not working and in grad school, HE was killing himself working overtime and we were just barely making our bills. By the way, I have 60,000 in student loans and had $$$$$ credit card debt at the time. People like you were probably about our decision to have DD. But, at 33, I was NOT willing to wait longer because having a child was more important than being *financial ready*.

Moral of the story? You do what is best for you. You make it work- it ALWAYS does wind up working out in the end.

---

I just read this and was seriously fighting back tears. This is the greatest story I have ever heard. Caroline you sure are lucky

Not at all. My best friend and I were just talking about this the other day. She's turning 24, has a degree, has a steady job, and just started dating this new guy a few months ago. She said she had the 'talk' with him about if she ever got preggers with him. SHe told him she'd be keeping the baby if it ever happened.

We talked about it and I said -- you're in your 20's, have a job and an education, and a loving family to support you. There's no reason why anyone would down upon you for having a baby at this point in your life....married or not. I think its a wonderful thing.

married or not. I think its a wonderful thing.

---

yes wonderful thing

---

Posted by PegaLega


I just read this and was seriously fighting back tears. This is the greatest story I have ever heard. Caroline you sure are lucky

---

ITA

<--------I mean him

---

Posted by LIBrideinBWI

I am coming out of lurker mode for this one.....

Caz- you have NOTHING to explain to ANYONE. Especially that twit.

Having Aidan DID save your life. Hell, he saved ALL of our lives. We were all being pulled into different directions and slowly drifting apart. That *little mistake* gave our family a new purpose, a different drive. It drew us closer than I ever thought possible. Honestly, I don't know where we'd all be if HE never came to be.

People look at our family and because they can't believe a family could be thatclose yet live so far away from each other. That one little mistake, that 'oops', that supposed *lapse in judgement* is the very core of what makes this family tick. It's almost unfair to Maddie and Jake- they will always be the grandbabies (and loved to pieces), but Aidan will always be this family's heart.

If anyone wants to 'shake thier head' about it- fine, but you are selling yourself short. Walk a mile in my sister's or any other single mother's shoes....THEN you can have a true opinion on the matter.

To Hamptonsbride- I know you meant no ill will in your response, and Caroline asked for opinions. I admire you for being honest- so many people on these boards (LIF included) sugarcoat everything to the point of being nauseating. I DO want to give you another perspective on your friends' situation.

By the time you reach your 30's, you begin to realize that having a baby may be what is most important, not finances. When DH and I decided to TTC our daughter- we were in the process of selling our house (at below what it was worth), paying a huge mortgage, I was not working and in grad school, HE was killing himself working overtime and we were just barely making our bills. By the way, I have 60,000 in student loans and had $$$$$ credit card debt at the time. People like you were probably about our decision to have DD. But, at 33, I was NOT willing to wait longer because having a child was more important than being *financial ready*.

Moral of the story? You do what is best for you. You make it work- it ALWAYS does wind up working out in the end.

---

What a nice sister. My sister s ucks. Can I borrow yours?

---

Posted by carolinep24

---

Posted by LIBrideinBWI

I am coming out of lurker mode for this one.....

Caz- you have NOTHING to explain to ANYONE. Especially that twit.

Having Aidan DID save your life. Hell, he saved ALL of our lives. We were all being pulled into different directions and slowly drifting apart. That *little mistake* gave our family a new purpose, a different drive. It drew us closer than I ever thought possible. Honestly, I don't know where we'd all be if HE never came to be.

People look at our family and because they can't believe a family could be thatclose yet live so far away from each other. That one little mistake, that 'oops', that supposed *lapse in judgement* is the very core of what makes this family tick. It's almost unfair to Maddie and Jake- they will always be the grandbabies (and loved to pieces), but Aidan will always be this family's heart.

If anyone wants to 'shake thier head' about it- fine, but you are selling yourself short. Walk a mile in my sister's or any other single mother's shoes....THEN you can have a true opinion on the matter.

To Hamptonsbride- I know you meant no ill will in your response, and Caroline asked for opinions. I admire you for being honest- so many people on these boards (LIF included) sugarcoat everything to the point of being nauseating. I DO want to give you another perspective on your friends' situation.

By the time you reach your 30's, you begin to realize that having a baby may be what is most important, not finances. When DH and I decided to TTC our daughter- we were in the process of selling our house (at below what it was worth), paying a huge mortgage, I was not working and in grad school, HE was killing himself working overtime and we were just barely making our bills. By the way, I have 60,000 in student loans and had $$$$$ credit card debt at the time. People like you were probably about our decision to have DD. But, at 33, I was NOT willing to wait longer because having a child was more important than being *financial ready*.

Moral of the story? You do what is best for you. You make it work- it ALWAYS does wind up working out in the end.

---

Ladies.. meet my lovely sister.

Thanks alot Amy, now I'm sitting at my desk in tears!!!

[love you so much]

---

I'm sitting on my couch in tears

---

Posted by carolinep24

---

Posted by Christys0925

I think most of the people who usually pass judgement are people of an older generation. My IL's are a perfect example.

---

that i can totally understand.

I'm speaking of someone who is in their 20s-30s

---

I reaalized that the person you're speaking of is a complete and total IDIOT!!!!!!!! Pay NO mind to her!

things happen and no matter how mucyou save or think you are ready

YOU ARE NEVER READY

me and DH have been trying for over year now and we have only been married 2 months..eryone knew we were trying before and after we started planning the wedding

my family called us the wed lockers for a while cause the fact that we were trying for so long

i have severe endometriosis and if i dont get preggo soon ill never be able to and adoption is our last option if we need to do that..thats why we were trying to have a baby out of wedlock..

we want to be young parents as well

if people arent ready until they are older..and or married thats fine..we just want to get this ball rolling soon for personal and medical reasons

I already commented, but I feel the need to elaborate now.

I got pregnant at 17. Ok, far from ideal, I'll admit that. I was on the pill. I was not stupid or unaware of how pregnancy happens. My pill failed. I thank god for that everyday. I can't imagine my life without our daughter. I graduated high school & I'm working my way through college now. I'm married to her father. It's made life harder, but I've never for a second regretted it. This is the way my life is supposed to be. People still judge. No matter how responsible & mature we are, regardless of the fact that we fully support ourselves, have gotten married, and have a happy, healthy child, we still had a child as teenagers so we're judged.

I have to agree with everything Amy said about doing what's best for yout family. We're not rich. Not by any means. We get by, but we have a small apartment, older cars & a modest savings account. We're young (20 & 21) & I'm still in school. We're TTC our second child. I know people who would or if they knew that. I've had friends (single & childless mind you) tell me to stop & think about how hard it will be to raise a child. Um, hello?! We have a child. I'm well aware. I've had people try to regurgitate statistics about the cost of raising a child the first few years & asking if we're really financially ready. Could we be more financially ready? Yeah of course, but we're just fine with things maybe being a little squishy financially. If we have our second child now, I'll be home to raise him/her more of the time. I only work part-time (& all but one day of the 3 I work DH is home with DD) & I'm in school part-time. I'll be able to be home with the kids most of the week because of our financial situation. To me personally, that's more important. DH & I have always wanted to have our children young. I'd rather have 3 kids 25 & have a budget than wait until my 30s & have more money. Even now that we're married & trying to do things 'the right way' we're still judged!

These choices are so personal & I hate that anyone feels like they have the right to judge.

Don't you mind that silly b!tch over on LIF. It was a low blow and very untrue.

You are a great mom- your son is BEAUTIFUL! And I am so happy that your DH and you have such a tight little famiglia.




and at anyone who says different.

---

Posted by Drv0716

I already commented, but I feel the need to elaborate now.

I got pregnant at 17. Ok, far from ideal, I'll admit that. I was on the pill. I was not stupid or unaware of how pregnancy happens. My pill failed. I thank god for that everyday. I can't imagine my life without our daughter. I graduated high school & I'm working my way through college now. I'm married to her father. It's made life harder, but I've never for a second regretted it. This is the way my life is supposed to be. People still judge. No matter how responsible & mature we are, regardless of the fact that we fully support ourselves, have gotten married, and have a happy, healthy child, we still had a child as teenagers so we're judged.

I have to agree with everything Amy said about doing what's best for yout family. We're not rich. Not by any means. We get by, but we have a small apartment, older cars & a modest savings account. We're young (20 & 21) & I'm still in school. We're TTC our second child. I know people who would or if they knew that. I've had friends (single & childless mind you) tell me to stop & think about how hard it will be to raise a child. Um, hello?! We have a child. I'm well aware. I've had people try to regurgitate statistics about the cost of raising a child the first few years & asking if we're really financially ready. Could we be more financially ready? Yeah of course, but we're just fine with things maybe being a little squishy financially. If we have our second child now, I'll be home to raise him/her more of the time. I only work part-time (& all but one day of the 3 I work DH is home with DD) & I'm in school part-time. I'll be able to be home with the kids most of the week because of our financial situation. To me personally, that's more important. DH & I have always wanted to have our children young. I'd rather have 3 kids 25 & have a budget than wait until my 30s & have more money. Even now that we're married & trying to do things 'the right way' we're still judged!

These choices are so personal & I hate that anyone feels like they have the right to judge.

---

I give you a LOT of credit... I could never had done it so young...

---

Posted by LIBrideinBWI

I am coming out of lurker mode for this one.....

Caz- you have NOTHING to explain to ANYONE. Especially that twit.

Having Aidan DID save your life. Hell, he saved ALL of our lives. We were all being pulled into different directions and slowly drifting apart. That *little mistake* gave our family a new purpose, a different drive. It drew us closer than I ever thought possible. Honestly, I don't know where we'd all be if HE never came to be.

People look at our family and because they can't believe a family could be thatclose yet live so far away from each other. That one little mistake, that 'oops', that supposed *lapse in judgement* is the very core of what makes this family tick. It's almost unfair to Maddie and Jake- they will always be the grandbabies (and loved to pieces), but Aidan will always be this family's heart.

If anyone wants to 'shake thier head' about it- fine, but you are selling yourself short. Walk a mile in my sister's or any other single mother's shoes....THEN you can have a true opinion on the matter.

To Hamptonsbride- I know you meant no ill will in your response, and Caroline asked for opinions. I admire you for being honest- so many people on these boards (LIF included) sugarcoat everything to the point of being nauseating. I DO want to give you another perspective on your friends' situation.

By the time you reach your 30's, you begin to realize that having a baby may be what is most important, not finances. When DH and I decided to TTC our daughter- we were in the process of selling our house (at below what it was worth), paying a huge mortgage, I was not working and in grad school, HE was killing himself working overtime and we were just barely making our bills. By the way, I have 60,000 in student loans and had $$$$$ credit card debt at the time. People like you were probably about our decision to have DD. But, at 33, I was NOT willing to wait longer because having a child was more important than being *financial ready*.

Moral of the story? You do what is best for you. You make it work- it ALWAYS does wind up working out in the end.

---

I hadn't read this post earlier and I'm going through it now & this made me fight back my tears.

Children truely are a blessing.

---

Posted by Mizzdimple

my mother had me out of wedlock..so i cant past judgement even if I wanted to.

---

me too

---

Posted by carolinep24

---

Posted by Drv0716

I already commented, but I feel the need to elaborate now.

I got pregnant at 17. Ok, far from ideal, I'll admit that. I was on the pill. I was not stupid or unaware of how pregnancy happens. My pill failed. I thank god for that everyday. I can't imagine my life without our daughter. I graduated high school & I'm working my way through college now. I'm married to her father. It's made life harder, but I've never for a second regretted it. This is the way my life is supposed to be. People still judge. No matter how responsible & mature we are, regardless of the fact that we fully support ourselves, have gotten married, and have a happy, healthy child, we still had a child as teenagers so we're judged.

I have to agree with everything Amy said about doing what's best for yout family. We're not rich. Not by any means. We get by, but we have a small apartment, older cars & a modest savings account. We're young (20 & 21) & I'm still in school. We're TTC our second child. I know people who would or if they knew that. I've had friends (single & childless mind you) tell me to stop & think about how hard it will be to raise a child. Um, hello?! We have a child. I'm well aware. I've had people try to regurgitate statistics about the cost of raising a child the first few years & asking if we're really financially ready. Could we be more financially ready? Yeah of course, but we're just fine with things maybe being a little squishy financially. If we have our second child now, I'll be home to raise him/her more of the time. I only work part-time (& all but one day of the 3 I work DH is home with DD) & I'm in school part-time. I'll be able to be home with the kids most of the week because of our financial situation. To me personally, that's more important. DH & I have always wanted to have our children young. I'd rather have 3 kids 25 & have a budget than wait until my 30s & have more money. Even now that we're married & trying to do things 'the right way' we're still judged!

These choices are so personal & I hate that anyone feels like they have the right to judge.

---

I give you a LOT of credit... I could never had done it so young...

---

wow you are definitly one stong woman, i admire your strength