House Hunting and MY PARENTS!

Did anyone else have a problem with their parents telling them what they should buy and what they shouldnt buy? My parents are DRVING us crazy, oh thats not good , this is not good.. for some strange reason they think that i should be getting a mansion for 325K. .i tried to explain in the nicest way that i am trying to buy in Bellmore/Merrick and its expensive over there so if i have to settle into a small cape that i can do some expanding on later than thats what we will do to get into a good neighborhood in a good school district.. Merrick is 86th% in the NATION!! thats the most important thing to me..urgggg they just dont understand...

my big problem is telling them anything.. i should just keep it all to myself until i actually move into a house 6 months or so down the road.. then just invite them over for dinner!,, did anyone else have this problem? if you did, how did you deal with it?

my mom didnt want us moving so far (shes in Queens). we obviously went ahead and bought the house . but she IS very happy for us, and loves our home.
She also told us not to spend 'so much'. But thats what the going rate was then, (and prices are still outrageous!!) we did spend more than we wanted to, but we had that 'this is it' feeling about this house. We didnt want to let it slip by and lose it.

Sure, there are times that I do wish I lived closer to my parents or my sister, but I LOVE where I live, and I LOVE my home. The school district is excellent and we got a great house for what we paid. (and only 2 years later, the prices have gone up even more!) we'd be paying a good $50K more at the least for this house, if we were house hunting today.
Yes it does seem like a big chunk of money (and it certainly is !!) when we're talking hundreds of thousands ! but its worth the investment !

Everyone will have something to say. My brother who is in Massapequa park asked us why we werent looking on the south shore, that the north shore will definately be more expensive (he just wanted neighbors !! LOL) but this is what we found and loved !

In the end its yours and DH's decision. Do whats best for you. School district and great area were also a big factor for us. (and then a gazillion other factors, LOL) you'll see how the list changes as you see more and more homes !

PS- keep a little notebook handy when youre house hunting. Write the address of the house you see, and all your little notes. !

Good luck !!

Thanks so much Anna!!! I think they are a little disapointed we arent going to live around there but its literally 15 minute drive!!

Good Idea about the notebook, if you dont mind me asking, what are some of the questions you asked the realtor after looking at something.. and i know this may sound like a stupid question but is the book for the purpose of writing all the info down about the house we find out so we can refer to it later? thanks!

Some of the questions I asked AT the house were
-how much the taxes were
-how old/new the roof was. any problems with the roof or any other major problems (they should tell you by law, but of course not everyone is honest in this world)
and any questions that came up. as we looked around.

About taking notes. Im just a note-taker kind of person. For several reasons, Im glad I took notes.
-One reason was, since we were going with more than one realtor, I wanted to make sure we didnt see the same house twice. Several times I saved them a trip when they told me the address of the house. I just said 'saw it, hated it' LOL.
-Also, if we really liked a house, I wrote down all the pluses about it, and how much they were asking. If we wanted to put a bid in, we were able to go home and go over the description again and what we liked about it. (i wrote down pros and cons).
-It was nice to be able to compare homes, how much you can get in one areas vs another area for the same price. how much property, how old/young of a home, etc.
-it becomes one big blur if you see more than 4 houses in a day. and if youre house hunting every weekend. I couldnt remember who had the spacious kitchen, and who had the bedrooms all downstairs except for the master bedroom (talk about bad setup! - I would never let my kids sleep on another LEVEL of the house !!). My notebook was my little saving grace. had all the info i needed.
Even the houses that we didnt look at (some looked like LEMONS from inside the car, we didnt even want to get out of the car. I just wrote down the address and put my notes. (I Think I still have that little notebook, its a special part of my life !! LOL )

Thank you SOO much Anna!!! im going to start my notebook!! i cant tell you how much i apprciate your info!

I will give you the same advise I tell brides- do not discuss this with them. Don't OFFER them details, until you find what you want to buy. If you ask them questions you will get lots of advise.

You cannot explain WHY home prices are sooo expenisve, heck it is insane. I NEVER imagined myself in a 300K house! It is not rational that our homes are costing this much.

Anna- your advice sounds great. I am copying down your post. thanks.

Suzanne - I know what you mean about family issues. I do not think either side of the family likes the idea of us moving to LI. I find myself avoiding talking to my family about it because it gets me a little down. I know my mom is happy for me but I think she is sad I am moving far from her (she lives in Queens but my parents do not own a car - my mom's mom and sister both live on LI and she rarely sees them because of this.) DH's parents are from SI and I know they are not happy about the LI move either...they think Queens is another country..never mind LI plus they think that we are doing it to be close to my family (ps he has aunts and cousins that live in Glen Cove!). They don't totally realize that DH and I talked about our options and feel that LI is our best and in our discussion proximity to both of our families was a priority. Then I avoid talking to friends and other family members for fear of competition and jealousy. It is very fustrating. Glad I have you guys! Suzanne - we are out to check out Bellmore, Merrick , Seaford (and such) on Sunday..maybe hit some open houses and just get a feel if we like the neighborhoods.any suggestions?

Hi Neicey.. i know what you mean.. plus my parents have this thing that they feel the need to tell me what to do instead of just offering advise and letting us make up our own minds.. i really like bellmore and merrick... i live in bellmore now, and its great.. they have street festivals, the strawberry festival is there.. the bellmore village is GREAT in the summer..the school districts are very good here as well..

There is an open house on Sat and Sund at 406 front street in bellmore.. from 1-4..i am going to try to make it there on sunday.. i dont know what your willing to pay for a house, i am only going to go to the max 350K.. you dont get much for that in those towns, but i figure if i get a cape i can always exp. the taxes arent to bad mostly between 4K-5K
I am going to keep checking newday this week for the open houses this weekend, and if you get the address you can go to www.mynassauproperty.com and take a look at the house if the add doesnt offer a picture... Anna gave some GREAT advise,, and i started my notebook last night... we should definatly keep eachother posted, heck we could be neighbors one daY!

I guess I was lucky, b/c my parents were helpful in giving us advice and support in the home buying process. At times, my Mom didn't really 'get' the whole issue with high asking prices, and how you couldn't really lowball an offer if you REALLY wanted the house....but, that's b/c my Mom has not been house hunting in about 5-6 years, and the market is very different now.

But, for the most part, my parents' advice and input was very useful to us, since we did not have any experience with the process before we bought our home.

I'm sorry that you're getting stressed out due to your family. The best you can do is keep your plans and business to yourselves until you find something you love and sign the contract. I found Anna's advice to be very useful. Good luck and aside from your family, try to enjoy the process (even though it can be very frustrating!)

Thanks Claud.,..the worst part is that their advise is very helpful, i just wish they wouldnt be so overbaring

I am sure i will be picking the brain of all you homeowners alot over the next couple of months if you dont mind!

Don't mind at all, Suzanne...we are all here to help with what we learned during this experience...