How do you...

Kindly tell your friend that if you're SO continues to be disrespectful to her friends, she's not welcomed anywhere?

I feel like there's no answer, but, in all fair and honesty, I cannot welcome someone into my home when I found out they stole from 2 other friends, and also heard she's not happy I'm having a boy.

How do you even react to it???

Re: How do you...

I dunno - maybe this is an actions speak louder then words kind of situation.

Just start to fade away from this person.... doesnt seem like they even deserve you wasting breath on them if thats how they act.

Re: How do you...

i'm sorry you even have to deal with this but i'm not quite sure what 'SO' stands for?
I think once I know what that stands for i will be better able to answer your questions

Re: How do you...

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Posted by Moonmist09

i'm sorry you even have to deal with this but i'm not quite sure what 'SO' stands for?
I think once I know what that stands for i will be better able to answer your questions

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SO stands for 'significant other'.

and I may just have to not call her anymore. Maybe she'll get the hint that if none of her friends are calling her to hang out something's up?

Re: How do you...

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Posted by jhines4684

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Posted by Moonmist09

i'm sorry you even have to deal with this but i'm not quite sure what 'SO' stands for?
I think once I know what that stands for i will be better able to answer your questions

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and I may just have to not call her anymore. Maybe she'll get the hint that if none of her friends are calling her to hang out something's up?

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Possibly but some times people who are IN those types of situations don't see the other side KWIM, so she may get the hint, it might just take a while.

But if it's more then one person doing it - I'd like to think noone would be that dense.

Sorry, its a cr@ppy situation.

Re: How do you...

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Posted by WeezyGirl2354

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Posted by jhines4684

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Posted by Moonmist09

i'm sorry you even have to deal with this but i'm not quite sure what 'SO' stands for?
I think once I know what that stands for i will be better able to answer your questions

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and I may just have to not call her anymore. Maybe she'll get the hint that if none of her friends are calling her to hang out something's up?

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Possibly but some times people who are IN those types of situations don't see the other side KWIM, so she may get the hint, it might just take a while.

But if it's more then one person doing it - I'd like to think noone would be that dense.

Sorry, its a cr@ppy situation.

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It's just hard because I've known my friend my entire life, our parents grew up together, etc. and this girl comes into the picture and is basically scaring all her friends away, she's not the same person anymore and I cannot believe she lets it happen. If my husband was disrespecting my friends, I would definitely put a stop to it before things were out of control.

Another friend of ours thinks the same way and can't stand her and feels like she's losing her friend too.

Re: How do you...

Unfortunately people change and no matter how long you know someone or the history when things like this pop up you have to put it aside.

Like you said - you wouldn't let your DH do such things. It could be b/c she doesn't see it, it could be b/c she is afraid to say something and it could be b/c she really doesn't have a problem with it.

Whatever the reason is - you have to put you and DH first in this situation and if that means just fading away, then that might be the best thing to do.

In the end - are you benefiting from this person? Are you getting anything out of this friendship? Happiness? Laughs?? or is it just an area for stress and anger - if its the latter, then thats not okay.

Re: How do you...

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Posted by WeezyGirl2354



In the end - are you benefiting from this person? Are you getting anything out of this friendship? Happiness? Laughs?? or is it just an area for stress and anger - if its the latter, then thats not okay.

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it was fun for a while, they were always fun to hang out with, but I think because 2 other friends in our group just got engaged, they take a certain resentment towards things. I say they, when I really mean the girlfriend of my friend - like she knows us?

its been bad lately. and I know my friend sees it. In fact, I pulled her aside one time and said 'DO you think she can calm down on the pregnancy comments?' for example....and my friend said 'Tell her, I'm out of this'.

that was pretty much the last time I saw them. I was supposed to go away with them last month, I bailed out because they were getting mad about who was bringing what, and not only me, but my other friends were kind of protesting to there itinerary they had set for us, and I stayed behind to avoid the headache, which I learned yesterday from a friend that I did the right thing.

I think my friend is afraid to be alone and just 'settles'. I know being gay isn't easy, but I mean I'd rather be gay and lonely than put up with someone who brings me down and scares away my friends.

Re: How do you...

i agree with everything you have said so far and what other people have posted. one weird question that is randomly sticking out in my mind though - why is she unhappy that you are having a boy? why does it matter? and why does she constantly make pregnancy comments?

Re: How do you...

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Posted by Moonmist09

i agree with everything you have said so far and what other people have posted. one weird question that is randomly sticking out in my mind though - why is she unhappy that you are having a boy? why does it matter? and why does she constantly make pregnancy comments?

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LOL...to tell you the truth...I don't know why, but she doesn't like baby boys...friggan WIERD I know. but to actually say it to my face was horrible.

I have 3 herniated discs in my back, and I'm about 6 and half months pregnant, so I'm always complaining about how uncomfortable I am, and what happened once was she wanted me to come upstairs into the ktichen for something, and I was on my friend's chair with my leg up because I had gotten a little stiff, so I said 'I can't quite walk at the moment, can you come here or can it wait a few minutes?' and she screamed 'I don't care, get your preggo arse up here!' - and also - it bothers her when a woman chooses to pick there husband's name for there son, which I'm doing, and it's a mutual choice because I like the idea of having a junior - she thinks my DH is making me do it. Um, really?

these comments happened in 2 different nights, and like I said, Haven't been seen them since.

Re: How do you...

Deep down I think you know what needs to be done but I totally understand how hard that can me.

It was right there when she said 'you tell her, I'm out of this' - ummm, okay, I get her POV, maybe she really does want to stay out of it and not cause problems between the 2 of them BUT by saying that she basically admitted that she sees it (like you said) and that she just doesnt seem to care about you enough to stick up for you.

You were SUPER nice about it too - a lot of people would have flipped out and really told your friend to tell her SO to s*ck it but that's not what happened.

She has a lot of opinions about things which just dont seem to mesh well w/ you and DH. You have to do what's best for you guys and your son.

Re: How do you...

I dunno, I'd hate to write off a friendship because of who someone was dating. I'd probably sit them down and tell them honestly, 'I think your SO is pretty disrespectful. I don't want to lose you as a friend, but I don't want him here anymore.' They definitely won't like to hear it, but maybe just maybe it'll open their eyes and they'll see what kind of person their SO is.

Re: How do you...

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Posted by WeezyGirl2354

Deep down I think you know what needs to be done but I totally understand how hard that can me.

It was right there when she said 'you tell her, I'm out of this' - ummm, okay, I get her POV, maybe she really does want to stay out of it and not cause problems between the 2 of them BUT by saying that she basically admitted that she sees it (like you said) and that she just doesnt seem to care about you enough to stick up for you.

You were SUPER nice about it too - a lot of people would have flipped out and really told your friend to tell her SO to s*ck it but that's not what happened.

She has a lot of opinions about things which just dont seem to mesh well w/ you and DH. You have to do what's best for you guys and your son.

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Exactly. I was VERY nice about it and I will never ever get confrontational.

and yes, this is very hard.

thanks girls.

Re: How do you...

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Posted by jilliibabii

I dunno, I'd hate to write off a friendship because of who someone was dating. I'd probably sit them down and tell them honestly, 'I think your SO is pretty disrespectful. I don't want to lose you as a friend, but I don't want him here anymore.' They definitely won't like to hear it, but maybe just maybe it'll open their eyes and they'll see what kind of person their SO is.

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I want to do this. I really do.

My problem is I feel like it's such an emotional situation that I can't handle right now. So I think scaling back, and slowly slipping away works better in my favor, because I don't think my friend really wants to hear everything I have to say.

I mean, how can you bring someone like that around your friends? And when I said she stole, Jill, she stole BOTTLES of LIQUOR! Can we say problem? Yes, we were at an engagement party, and I saw her take a bottle of bacardi and hide it behind her sweater and leave! I tell my friend this yesterday, (had forgotten about it until I realized how mad I was she was talking cr@p behind my back) and learned that before deciding to steal it, she asked the MOTHER if she could have it and the mother said NO!

And she took expensive stuff from a friend's house at new years last year.