How do you feel toward the people who did not even send a card?

Never mind a gift...I don't even want to go there.

I am talking about people who didn't even send a card.

I have a couple family members who declined the wedding, but didn't even send a card. Obviously, I can't stop 'being family'.

but, what about 'friends'? I have this one 'friend' who I had even vented to because none of my coworkers gave me a card when I got married. (I mentioned it to her because we used to work together and she knows all of these people)...well, she never sent a card, either.


When I mentioned to her that I was still sad that my colleagues didn't even send a card, she said, 'Oh, I'm sorry that I didn't send one yet. But, in the Jewish faith, we don't believe in gift giving ahead of time...like baby showers- we don't give gifts until after the baby is born.'

Well, I am familiar with the faith because of my 2 BEST FRIENDS, and I have never heard anything about not acknowledging a marriage-neither have either of them...

again, never mind the gift- I am p!ssed at the people who couldn't even send a card...

any other thoughts...

Re: How do you feel toward the people who did not even send a card?

We had a lot of people who couldn't attend the wedding due to a busy summer weekend! Some we got cards, and even gifts from, others, nothing. Quite a few of those people I am really shocked and hurt. Esp since I went to one of their son's Bar Mitzvah a couple of months before our wedding and gave a nice check - they could have sent a card!

Re: How do you feel toward the people who did not even send a card?

Well considering most of our friends are married and kids will be coming soon, we adopted the following mentality- DO ONTO OTHERS AS THEY HAVE DONE TO YOU!

They didn't send a card- they receive no card
They didn't attend (without good reason) we don't attend

etc.

We were just invited to a wedding at a caterering hall that I have ALWAYS wanted to go to but the person getting married didn't attend our wedding for the lamest excuse I have EVER heard, but sent us $75 so that is exactly what we did.

Re: How do you feel toward the people who did not even send a card?

You get upset at first but then you just have to let it go. With everything that frustrated me about the planning and the etiquette--lack of rsvps, no shows who don't contact you, not sending a card or email, etc., I've taken to stride that I will never do that to anyone else. You realize that a token of acknowledgement goes very far.

Re: How do you feel toward the people who did not even send a card?

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Posted by swags1016

Well considering most of our friends are married and kids will be coming soon, we adopted the following mentality- DO ONTO OTHERS AS THEY HAVE DONE TO YOU!

They didn't send a card- they receive no card
They didn't attend (without good reason) we don't attend

etc.

We were just invited to a wedding at a caterering hall that I have ALWAYS wanted to go to but the person getting married didn't attend our wedding for the lamest excuse I have EVER heard, but sent us $75 so that is exactly what we did.

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I completely agree with your logic!

Re: How do you feel toward the people who did not even send a card?

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Posted by swags1016

Well considering most of our friends are married and kids will be coming soon, we adopted the following mentality- DO ONTO OTHERS AS THEY HAVE DONE TO YOU!

They didn't send a card- they receive no card
They didn't attend (without good reason) we don't attend

etc.

We were just invited to a wedding at a caterering hall that I have ALWAYS wanted to go to but the person getting married didn't attend our wedding for the lamest excuse I have EVER heard, but sent us $75 so that is exactly what we did.

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perfectly said jamie!!! i feel exactly the same way.

Re: How do you feel toward the people who did not even send a card?

we had a few friends not give cards and it didn't really bother us...they were BP members. It's upsetting to not even get a card to acknowledge your nuptials....shame on them!

One of my cousins who said 'I can't wait, I wouldn't miss your wedding for anything' was like 2 hours LATE!!!! And another one was dressed so frumpy and didn't even bother doing her hair or make up!......upsetting

I just blow it off, I don't really talk to them anyways

Re: How do you feel toward the people who did not even send a card?

I don't mind the people that didn't come to the wedding and didn't send cards. What I do mind is the people that CAME to the wedding and didn't give us one! I still can't believe that actually happened!

Re: How do you feel toward the people who did not even send a card?

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Posted by swags1016


We were just invited to a wedding at a caterering hall that I have ALWAYS wanted to go to but the person getting married didn't attend our wedding for the lamest excuse I have EVER heard, but sent us $75 so that is exactly what we did.

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You're better than me, see my evil side would have made me go to the wedding and give a gift of $75



ETA - to answer the question we were very hurt by some of the people that didn't even give a card - it's like everyone says you really get to know people/friends/family when you have a wedding.

Re: How do you feel toward the people who did not even send a card?

I would be sad and disappointed in my friends and co-workers that didn't give a card but I would feel that they obviously don't have good manners and would blow it off. But I would not go out of my way ever again for them for anything. Be courteous and polite but that's about it.

Please don't let things like this bother you. It's the people that do care that matter in our lives

Re: How do you feel toward the people who did not even send a card?

Um, I just want to say that the Jewish excuse is BS, and I'm offended that they used it.

Yes, we don't want to jinx a Baby's birth (Because really WAY too much can go wrong), but a Wedding?

Please, I went to an Orthodox Shower in April for a wedding that happened in June (LBF404, incidentally).

Honestly though, I wouldn't let it get you down. There are much worse things in this world that they could have done to you.

Re: How do you feel toward the people who did not even send a card?

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Posted by janwinterbridejoy

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Posted by swags1016

Well considering most of our friends are married and kids will be coming soon, we adopted the following mentality- DO ONTO OTHERS AS THEY HAVE DONE TO YOU!

They didn't send a card- they receive no card
They didn't attend (without good reason) we don't attend

etc.

We were just invited to a wedding at a caterering hall that I have ALWAYS wanted to go to but the person getting married didn't attend our wedding for the lamest excuse I have EVER heard, but sent us $75 so that is exactly what we did.

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perfectly said jamie!!! i feel exactly the same way.

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I agree - very well said - i would do the same.

Re: How do you feel toward the people who did not even send a card?

I was kind of aggravated. We had a GM who had no money (or so he said), so we paid for his hotel and trip. When it came to writing the thank you's, we noticed there wasn't even a card from him....we were hurt that he felt we weren't even worth the card. It kind of irked us, too when we found out he went to the carnival that was near the hotel after the wedding and blew a whole bunch of money on the games that they had.

Re: How do you feel toward the people who did not even send a card?

The Jewish excuse does not fly- Some people don't give a baby gift until after the baby is born (it might be bad luck and invite the evil eye. But that is not the case with weddings (especally after the fact).

Re: How do you feel toward the people who did not even send a card?

I still have 8 cousins who have not even replied, never mind sent a card or congratulations.

I still don't know what to do about it & I will see at least 3 of them in November.

Re: How do you feel toward the people who did not even send a card?

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Posted by HearzBellz

I still have 8 cousins who have not even replied, never mind sent a card or congratulations.

I still don't know what to do about it & I will see at least 3 of them in November.

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The ball is in their court. Don't worry about it. Let them approach you or be embarassed.

Re: How do you feel toward the people who did not even send a card?

I have quite a few people who we have not even received a card from, and I am quite annoyed at all of them. I'm especially annoyed at a good friend of mine from HS, who since the wedding hasn't even bothered to call or at the very least IM me to ask how it was or wish me congrats.

As others already said - the Jewish excuse is BS! It's true about baby showers, not about weddings!

Re: How do you feel toward the people who did not even send a card?

I had a few people actually show up and not bringa gift or a card!!! I was shocked!! We even had a few people just not show up, or ever acknowledge it!!! I was mad at first..I guess I secretly think of less of these people..thankfully they are not my friends or family..they are distant friends to Dh..but Im still secretly mad at them when I see them!

Re: How do you feel toward the people who did not even send a card?

I need to let things go. I'm still annoyed at my two cousins who came and brought dates, and no gift or card. One of my cousin's dates was sucking down Heinekens at our rehearsal dinner, when only domestic beer was included in our pp price, so we had to pay for them. Their parents (my aunt and uncle) gave us $100 and signed their names to their card. And my cousin with the Heineken-loving boyfriend drives a Mercedes.

Re: How do you feel toward the people who did not even send a card?

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Posted by kpny622

I don't mind the people that didn't come to the wedding and didn't send cards. What I do mind is the people that CAME to the wedding and didn't give us one! I still can't believe that actually happened!

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ditto! My INLAWS didn't give us a card! (or a gift but we won't go there...)