ok here is the deal. DH and I have a friend that is a lesbian, her and her brother are like family to us, we love and adore them, etc.
So this friend of ours has a girlfriend-we met her at our wedding b/c she came as an uninvited guest its all good, didnt bother me too much. So anyway, the whole weekend that they were here all teh GF did was complain, to far to walk, tired, hungry-just all out bitchiing about everything.
Fast forward, i get emails from our friend all the time, she misses us and loves us (she is out of state) and we need to call her......ok. I speak to her brother 2x a week if not more, at least once on the phone to KIT. fine...I tell her to DL AIM so that we can talk without making their phone bill crazy....instead who do i get on it...the GF. Not that I dont like her but um I havent talked to my FRIEND b/c the GF always wants to talk to us....is it wrong of me to tell the GF I dont want to talk to her? And would like to hear from my FRIENDS mouth how she is doing and not thru the GF? The GF will just get on the computer and be like 'she wanted me to tell you she misses you'
Can I tell her to go scratch herself...or would that be realy mean?
To add to it, the brother also says he never gets to speak to his sister b/c the GF always speaks for her-do I lose my mind on this girl or leave well enough alone?
PegaLega
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Re: How do you handle this
Posted by SusiBtoM
Posted by PegaLega
Posted by HamptonsBride
oh man....now if it was a boyfriend you'd think he was controlling, right? Just cause it's a chick...doesn't mean it's not the same thing...sounds like she's running the show...does your friend have a cellphone you could call her at directly? Maybe joke about it and say...what does GF do all the talking for you now?? maybe she'll get the hint? Hang in there...i wouldn't lose it on the GF cause it would probably upset your friend..
EXACTLY the issue...she is controlling! She wouldnt even let her do a fargin shot with us at our wedding ridiculous!!! THEY have a cell phone...the GF always has it....and I guess she screens the calls b/c she always answers even if our friend is sitting right next to her. Losing it on her would definitely upset my friend...but when outside people are being pushed away b/c of your GF...I dont konw...I guess she thinks we all have to like her b/c she does-I just dont like her, I dont know why but she urks me like no other
That's really scary, that someone else is controlling your friend's life. Def try to call her directly without the GF nearby. Can you call her at work ? I'd voice my concern that the chick is too controlling and it's not only you that has noticed. An internvention maybe ? Waht do her parents say about this ?
Ive tried, her work hours change weekly so when I call she is never there or cant talk...fin I totally understnad taht-then call you back and when she does so says hi how are you...hold on GF wants to talk to you...and that is it-I spend the rest of the convo ont he phone with the GF-UM what could she possibly have to talk to me about? We barely know e/o Both of her parents passed away-its just her and her brother and he is very upset b/c he never talks to her anymore I thik she needs an intervention, I understand that they are together and care about e/o but she is pushing everyone away b/c no one likes the GF.
Thanks ladies...i will figure out how to do this nicely .....maybe
MeNBobs
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Re: How do you handle this
This is like an episode of Seinfeld!!! Elaine hated talking to her friend's husband on the phone. If she phoned and he answered she would hang up on him. He then thought his wife was having an affair. So if you call and hang up enough times they will eventually break up.
I would call if the GF answers say hello to her and ask to speak to your friend. If she said the friend was unavailable I would say tell her to call me back and end the conversation at that. After you do this a few times they will get a hint. The phone works both ways so your friend could try to call you when you are not working. Let her know your new schedule.
PegaLega
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Re: How do you handle this
Posted by MeNBobs
This is like an episode of Seinfeld!!! Elaine hated talking to her friend's husband on the phone. If she phoned and he answered she would hang up on him. He then thought his wife was having an affair. So if you call and hang up enough times they will eventually break up.
I would call if the GF answers say hello to her and ask to speak to your friend. If she said the friend was unavailable I would say tell her to call me back and end the conversation at that. After you do this a few times they will get a hint. The phone works both ways so your friend could try to call you when you are not working. Let her know your new schedule.
oh hell why didnt I think of this idea...im totally gonna call and hang up-at all times of the day too
B22
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Re: How do you handle this
totally tell her to go scratch.
how annoying
PaddysGirl15
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Re: How do you handle this
Don't tell her to go scratch but tell her you'd like to speak to your friend- and if she gets tudey then tell her to go scratch
Aug07OFCbride
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Re: How do you handle this
Posted by PegaLega
Posted by Aug07OFCbride
id just flat out nicely ask 'can i talk to ___, please?' and if shes busy or not there, get off the phone with her GF, 'alright, well can you have her call me back?' or 'alright, well Ill try again later, thx tho!' ...easier and probably nicer way to handle it than getting into it with the GF or offending her, only bc that probably wouldn't do much for you and your relationship with your friend.
the AIM thing, kinda weird, id write 'can she come to the computer?, id really like to chat with her' and if not, same as the phone, 'ill try her later' deal. you can only do so much.
eventually, you have to catch her by calling or IM! (does your friend call YOU ever? seems like the only way to talk to her!)
you can be cordial but you don't need to sit and chat THROUGH her GF all the time!
i can see why youd be irritated, peg!!
IM just going to keep trying this...she does call but Im never home now that Im working until 7 pm, and I keep my phone on silent so I miss the calls I want to beat her GF up-is that bad
hmm, the beating may not go over so well.
give her your new sched, so she'll know to call you after 7. its so weird, its like you can't have 2 seconds alone to talk. i mean, come on...ppl aren't THAT busy!!!
PegaLega
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Re: How do you handle this
Posted by PaddysGirl15
Don't tell her to go scratch but tell her you'd like to speak to your friend- and if she gets tudey then tell her to go scratch
you and Caroline think alike
PegaLega
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Re: How do you handle this
Posted by Aug07OFCbride
Posted by PegaLega
Posted by Aug07OFCbride
id just flat out nicely ask 'can i talk to ___, please?' and if shes busy or not there, get off the phone with her GF, 'alright, well can you have her call me back?' or 'alright, well Ill try again later, thx tho!' ...easier and probably nicer way to handle it than getting into it with the GF or offending her, only bc that probably wouldn't do much for you and your relationship with your friend.
the AIM thing, kinda weird, id write 'can she come to the computer?, id really like to chat with her' and if not, same as the phone, 'ill try her later' deal. you can only do so much.
eventually, you have to catch her by calling or IM! (does your friend call YOU ever? seems like the only way to talk to her!)
you can be cordial but you don't need to sit and chat THROUGH her GF all the time!
i can see why youd be irritated, peg!!
IM just going to keep trying this...she does call but Im never home now that Im working until 7 pm, and I keep my phone on silent so I miss the calls I want to beat her GF up-is that bad
hmm, the beating may not go over so well.
give her your new sched, so she'll know to call you after 7. its so weird, its like you can't have 2 seconds alone to talk. i mean, come on...ppl aren't THAT busy!!!
I know its ridiculous...we play phone tag all the time, when we DO actually talk its for 2 seconds and the GF wants to talk to me and she hands the phone over....its almost like teh GF doesnt want anyone to talk to her by themselves, she wants to play telephone so that she knows what is going on on the phone. Hopefully I wont have to tell the GF to go scratch
JennNicole
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Re: How do you handle this
Peg my opinion is if your Friend has chosen this girl as a mate you really have to respect her choice and not tell her to scratch!
Just ignore most of her IM's she will get the hint eventually..and when you do get her Tell her I want to speak to so and so directly (your friend) Tell her NO offense but I am not getting satisfied learning how she is doing by you
Than call her .. keep calling...prank call infact
Edited b/c I am thinking YOu know what SHAME ON YOUR FR for allowing this
PegaLega
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Re: How do you handle this
Posted by gemmifer
Peg my opinion is if your Friend has chosen this girl as a mate you really have to respect her choice and not tell her to scratch!
Just ignore most of her IM's she will get the hint eventually..and when you do get her Tell her I want to speak to so and so directly (your friend) Tell her NO offense but I am not getting satisfied learning how she is doing by you
Than call her .. keep calling...prank call infact
True....but still i really cant tell her to go scratch
JennNicole
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Re: How do you handle this
PegaLega
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Re: How do you handle this
Posted by gemmifer
At this point I think I WANT to tell her to go scratch
JennNicole
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Re: How do you handle this
At this point I think I WANT to tell her to go scratch
NO 'offense' but I would also tell your FR to go scratch
I MEAN Really ... she should tell her GF to go drink some prune juice and let that S H I T go!
