Even though we've lived together for nearly a year, I still feel like we dont know how to spend our 'down time' together. He likes to spend his down time on the computer, watching fantasy football or the game on TV. i like to get out of the apartment, esp. on a nice day, and walk around the city together. Sometimes we are good about compromising but lately we have at least one fight every single weekend about how we spend our down time. I am big on 'quality time' and sometimes I feel like he just takes me being near him for granted - like he doesn't have to make plans with me because i'm always there...
I don't know. I just feel kind of upset. I'm realizing we fight. A lot. We make up and hug and do all that but it's not really what I envisioned and I'm only married a month and a half......
FunBride
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Re: How do you spend your weekends together?
Just to add one more thing - we went through pre-marital counseling before we got married -things have not always been smooth sailing between us but the only thing this relationship taught me is despite our fights we DO still love each other and want to make it work (because if we didn't we wouldn't stick around).
Does anyone feel just, I don't know, SAD sometimes? THanks for letting me vent
nov04LIbride
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Re: How do you spend your weekends together?
We generally spend a lot of the weekend together. We go grocery shopping, bike riding, rent/go to movies, even do silly stuff like play Jenga (my mom got us the game for some reason!). We do each do our own thing sometimes...He plays softball Sunday mornings, and I have to do homework for some of the weekend...But we work on having quality time together. Some people suggest date nights as a forced togetherness type of thing.
FunBride
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Re: How do you spend your weekends together?
all great ideas - it's hard living in NYC to do the bike riding thing, though I have to admit sometimes I get lazy too...thanks for the advice I really appreciate it!!
February05
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Re: How do you spend your weekends together?
we really dont spend that much 'quality' time together either. we dont really fight about it though, b/c we're kind of on the same page about it. He loves to watch TV (and every sport imagineable), and I'm forever on the computer. i definitely wish we went out more sometimes, But, im just as much of a culprit at being lazy as he is
but we've also gotten better at compromising. 5 years ago, i Hated football. but it was his life. seriously. So i started watching it, and he got to teach me all about it, and it became our thing. Now, im just as into it as he is (though, not as obsessive over the fantasy stuff ). i dont mean that you have to take on all of his interests, but in that area- it was something thats such a big thing to DH, and where i used to look at it as something that 'took away from our time'... now its something that we look forward to together.
MrsA814
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Re: How do you spend your weekends together?
We don't spend that much quitly time either cause he works on the weekend it *****. But that is the only way to make money that is fine. But when he is home we hangout and watch tv etc.
bluesashbride
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Re: How do you spend your weekends together?
We love to have friends over. He's a neat freak so he rallies me to clean. We'll run together or do yard work. We've made compromises in both directions-he plays flag football on my alumni team and I am good about hosting his friends or going out with him to hang with his friends. (ETA his 'friends' meaning his pals and their wives and girlfriends.)
I find that getting outside to do stuff together and getting the idiot box (aka TV) turned off really help in feeling like we are spending time together.
shamrock12472
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Re: How do you spend your weekends together?
We usually spend our weekends together. We like to entertain so we have people over quite a bit. We also like going on quick getaways. His family lives all the way out east so we like to go out there. When we are home, I like to cook and make dinner, we do outside work or we just make it a lazy day and watch movies. We have never really fought about what to do. We both like to do some thing independently and together. When he golfs, I go do something I like to do and visa versa. Now that it's football season, we'll be spending Sundays watching football and having football parties.
ssdbk
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Re: How do you spend your weekends together?
our weekends are always different. sometimes we get great quality time and sometimes we don't.
sometimes just walking the dog together feels great!
DebsNY
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Re: How do you spend your weekends together?
We usually go grocery shopping, watch a movie, etc. Since it's fall, there's quite a bit going on down here in VA, 2 weeks ago we went to the fair, this past weekend was the Harvest Festival at the Vinyard, next weekend is the Old Time Festival, and the following is alumni crab fest for our college
Try to find little things like that to do - there have to be tons of festivals, etc. going on this time of year!
princess99
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Re: How do you spend your weekends together?
We try to do things as a 'family unit' even though it is the 2 of us, no babies yet. We have dinner together, run errands on the weekends together, and see family, play scrabble, board games, watch tv, go to the movies- we joke sometimes we go to the matinee and then an early dinner like retired people. LOL,but it saves us $$$. He has his own time too, with fantasy football, fantasy baseball, etc. Sometimes we are in the same room doing 2 different things but we are together. HTH
Mrs.Z
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Re: How do you spend your weekends together?
Our weekends are really Fri night and Sun. We will have a great dinner on fridays have a couple of drinks and just sit and talk. I work on sat, and DH has his own business on top of his real job, so he works. Sun I food shop and then we just relax, Football, yummy dinner and unwind for monday.
JimmysBride
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Re: How do you spend your weekends together?
Well with the baby now, our hands are pretty full since he is still so small. But we sometimes have that issue because DH LIVES on the computer playing games. I let him play as long as I can stand it because I know he needs to unwind from a long week at work. Then we'll make dinner together and settle down for a movie. This weekend I made Pina Coladas and we sat on the patio talking for awhile. Sometimes we'll work on little projects in the house (painting, organizing, etc) together.
Although generally I prefer to go out and he likes to stay in, right now with the baby going out is not all that easy. I know he's fine with that and I am for now too. Now that the baby is getting a little more into a schedule we will probably start having friends over more on the weekends even though he often objects to that too (he loves to lay around in his boxers and doesn't want to have to get dressed or clean for company). But that's where we'll have to compromise -- since we can't really go out too much, at least we can have friends over the house.
Sweetd
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Re: How do you spend your weekends together?
I usually do my wash and go to my allergist appointment on Saturdays and then later in the day me and Dh meet up at home. Sundays we usually hang out at our place and then eat dinner at my parents house and later he does his wash at his parents house.
lullabella
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Re: How do you spend your weekends together?
Home depot! At least once a weekend. We make breakfast and do things around the house, go shopping, out to dinner. On Sunday's we go to my parents and hang out.
Soon2BMrsA
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Re: How do you spend your weekends together?
we spend alot of time with our families,friends, rent movies, do grocery shopping. Sundays we always go to church and afterward go out to eat. Friday nights are our night though, we always make plans to spend time together. I love the weekends because thats when we get to spend quality time together.
hbradio
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Re: How do you spend your weekends together?
We do the usual stuff - visit family, friends, do chores, watch tv, etc.
mcaula
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Re: How do you spend your weekends together?
We spend it shopping for things for our apartment we are doing some renovating so we are at Lowes and Home Depot alot. I am a big HGTV fan so I am always finding new ways to improve our home
cjik
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Re: How do you spend your weekends together?
We do a variety of things. Usually some housework, grocery shopping if we didn't do it during the week, and some kind of outdoor activity either biking or swimming (though that's over now). Often, I'll go shopping or out with friends by myself at some point over the weekend, or vice versa. Or, we might visit family. We usually eat out at least once.
I find it's usually best that we are not alone in the apartment together most of the weekend. That's when we seem to argue, though it's usually not over anything big.
endlessluv429
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Re: How do you spend your weekends together?
Unfortuntely, DH works sat and sundays---it stinks massively....we miss our weekends together....we always go to church together though on sundays....unless he has to work super early--then i go without him thank God we have other week days off together, when we usually hit the beach or shopping or just hang out together----
