I had a ton. Around 20!! It was absurd and very rude, I thought. But it was mostly from my Dad's side and it was half-expected (but not THAT many!)...
This isn't a normal amount of no-shows, is it??
Now... my cousin (from my Dad's side) is getting married this weekend. I already sorta RSVP'd yes but I'm very tempted to be a no-show for several reasons:
1. she was a no-show at mine
2. 4 people from her household were no-shows at my wedding
3. I have a strong feeling that I am going to see at HER wedding many of the people that were no-shows at MY wedding... and that will really piss me off. The reason I think this is that she is getting married at a 'less fancy' place than I did (in my Dad's family's opinion) so they don't feel like they have to get 'as dressed up' or give as generous a gift (ridiculous, I know). I didn't care what they wore or what they gave as a gift -- I just wanted them to be there and it will upset me to see them show for her wedding when they didn't show for mine!
So... would it be SO wrong of me to be a no-show at HER wedding?? She DID come to my shower and gave a gift, so can I get away with just sending her a gift right (which I was gonna do anyway)? I didn't attend her shower.
Karacg
Posted:
Member since
Re: How many no-shows did you have?
I didn't have any no-shows -- but one friend brought a friend instead of her husband (he is a cop and had to work the RNC), and the friend, whom I have known since high school, didn't give anything - not even a card.
I say don't go to the wedding, no gift, no excuse -- if she couldn't bother to give you one, why should you give her one? Or, just go, have a great time, hog the photographer and videographer...and no gift. lol.
eroxgirl
Posted:
Member since
Re: How many no-shows did you have?
I had 9...
1 was my BMs dad, but she told me like 2 days before he wouldn't show.
2 were our neighbors who thought they could arrive at 5:30 for our 12:00 wedding.
Another guest responded that he would be coming with 2 guests (even though he was only invited with 1) and he showed up alone.
And the last 4 are the worst offenders - a couple was invited, they responded that 4 were coming and my MIL insisted we let it go. And then the SOBs never showed. They say someone had appendicitis (sp) but hello, my wedding was 5 months ago and you haven't contacted us yet to apologize! They will never be invited to one of my functions ever again.
SeptWed
Posted:
Member since
Re: How many no-shows did you have?
We had one couple respond yes and then call with the lamest excuse ever two days before. They are DH cousin (and DH was in his wedding party). I already told DH we are never speaking to them again (at least i am not). Never sent a gift either. They are known for this.
DH mom's friend is really sick with MS - her and her husband responded yes. She was not feeling well and did not come. Her husband stopped by to give us a gift and say hi but left before the CH was over...we totally understood and thought he went above and beyond.
We also had one person show up who RSVP no so we had to set up a seat for them which meant out of the two who didn't come i covered one of there plates. I have no clue why this person did this....
We also had two couples cancel after RSVPing yes for personal reasons, but they told us before we had to give a final number in....
20 sounds like a lot though..you have every right to be pee'd off and if i was you i would not go to that persons wedding......
kgermano
Posted:
Member since
Re: How many no-shows did you have?
We had so many last minute drop outs mostly from DH family. But the worst part is most didn't even call us they called his mom and we had to hear it from her. Really that last week before my wedding was horrible because of all these people dropping out. It made us come in way below our minimum so I paid like $1000 dollars for empty seats. I'm still pretty bitter about it As far as your cousin, you know what I would feel the same way. Maybe you should go to be the bigger person but then again she didn't extend you that common courtesy. I definately see your dilema. Sorry good luck.
P.S My Dh would be just like you and I know he would refuse to go!
ChristineC68
Posted:
Member since
Re: How many no-shows did you have?
We had one official no show and two people that didn't bring dates they RSVP'd for.
I think it would be wrong to not go to the wedding after RSVPing yes. Especially since you know how wrong, hurtful, expensive and aggrevating it is.
I can certainly understand why you don't want to go and would have said no in the first place. Why not call her now and give her some bs excuse?
Jax430
Posted:
Member since
Re: How many no-shows did you have?
I guess I was lucky..every one of our guests showed up, to my knowledge.
DrmnBlnd
Posted:
Member since
Re: How many no-shows did you have?
I had 3 no shows- one was my MOH's hubby because he 'got called into work'. I still question that one. I just think it was because he didn't know anyone.
bellepoque
Posted:
Member since
Re: How many no-shows did you have?
We had five people rsvp yes and did not show. We heard from three of them but we still have not heard from one of the couples.
Two weeks before the wedding we had five cancellations and one couple who called my DH's father at our rehearsal dinner to say 'oh by the way' we won't be coming after all.
mrswask
Posted:
Member since
Re: How many no-shows did you have?
We had one guy who was bringing a date leave a message on our machine four days before the wedding giving some lame a** excuse that they couldn't come. In my opinion, four days before the wedding is a no-show!! They never sent a card or gift.
We had another guy and a date no show who had RSVP'd yes. This is someone who DH lifeguards with EVERY DAY in the summer and didn't show. We know there was another lifeguard wedding that day but he had made such a point of saying that he got our invite first and was coming to ours. Well - I'm assuming he went to the other wedding because he didn't come to ours!!! When we got back from HM and DH saw him at work - he didn't say one word to DH!!! Like we did something wrong!! And you guessed it - no card or gift.
We also had two women show up alone when they had rsvp'd with dates!!!
BMD'sPeanut
Posted:
Member since
Re: How many no-shows did you have?
OMG! I can't answer this now!!
2 people told us in the days before the wedding that they weren't going to be able to make-it...Thanks! Still had to pay for them...
5 didn't show up on the day...(All for fairly legitimate reasons)
agv
Posted:
Member since
Re: How many no-shows did you have?
For us 3 no shows, 2 adults and their son. The reason...they had a fight that morning
rrdm782004
Posted:
Member since
Re: How many no-shows did you have?
15
RVCBride
Posted:
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Re: How many no-shows did you have?
Jimmysbride
I WOULDN'T GO!!
mrswask
Posted:
Member since
Re: How many no-shows did you have?
In answer to you original question - IMO - it will look really vindictive and childish if you don't go. I think you're better off going and giving a really tiny amount on the check - or nothing at all - might as well enjoy a free meal and drinks!
ETA - Let her see that you're the more mature person - because she is probably thinking you won't go. And like I said - take it out in the gift!! wait - did I say mature??
peabody
Posted:
Member since
Re: How many no-shows did you have?
Just one.
annaae
Posted:
Member since
Re: How many no-shows did you have?
As far as you attending the wedding, it depends on how much you care. If you don't care about them, you rsvp'd yes because you felt obligated to than I wouldn't go out of my way for them. If you do care, I wouldn't stoop to their level, perhaps call to say you can't come and send a gift . Or just go and have a good time!
I had about 5 no shows and 2 people who rsvp with guest but ended up coming alone. They all let me know a head of time, unfortunetly, it was a little too late. I still had to pay for them. Only one couple never called or sent a card..nothing Oh well.. after reading everyone's posts I guess it's a common thing.
MayDay16
Posted:
Member since
Re: How many no-shows did you have?
12
10 people the 2 weeks prior to my Wedding and 2 the day of.
JimmysBride
Posted:
Member since
Re: How many no-shows did you have?
Posted by mrswask
In answer to you original question - IMO - it will look really vindictive and childish if you don't go. I think you're better off going and giving a really tiny amount on the check - or nothing at all - might as well enjoy a free meal and drinks!
ETA - Let her see that you're the more mature person - because she is probably thinking you won't go. And like I said - take it out in the gift!! wait - did I say mature??
Spitzergirl
Posted:
Member since
Re: How many no-shows did you have?
Wow, people are so darn RUDE,
I had about 10 no shows, 5 out of the 10 my wonderful MOH said, they were coming. They never told me they were, but according to her, they would have been there. I was so angry, big time for loosing, all that money.
Spitzergirl
Posted:
Member since
Re: How many no-shows did you have?
Posted by JimmysBride
I had a ton. Around 20!! It was absurd and very rude, I thought. But it was mostly from my Dad's side and it was half-expected (but not THAT many!)...
This isn't a normal amount of no-shows, is it??
Now... my cousin (from my Dad's side) is getting married this weekend. I already sorta RSVP'd yes but I'm very tempted to be a no-show for several reasons:
1. she was a no-show at mine
2. 4 people from her household were no-shows at my wedding
3. I have a strong feeling that I am going to see at HER wedding many of the people that were no-shows at MY wedding... and that will really piss me off. The reason I think this is that she is getting married at a 'less fancy' place than I did (in my Dad's family's opinion) so they don't feel like they have to get 'as dressed up' or give as generous a gift (ridiculous, I know). I didn't care what they wore or what they gave as a gift -- I just wanted them to be there and it will upset me to see them show for her wedding when they didn't show for mine!
So... would it be SO wrong of me to be a no-show at HER wedding?? She DID come to my shower and gave a gift, so can I get away with just sending her a gift right (which I was gonna do anyway)? I didn't attend her shower.
DOn't you want to see the people who did not show up at your wedding, attend her wedding.--
I would go late of course, give a little gift and leave early, I mean very early, before they cut the cake early. I don't care anymore about people feelings, being that during my wedding planning, I got so hurt and shock about the people closest to me, the way they treated me. How could people treat the bride so awful
