I *want* to be ready to TTC....(new edit)

but I'm not

like, half the time I have baby fever and half the time I just know DH and I aren't ready

those who are TTC or know they are going to TTC soon, how did you KNOW you were ready?

ETA:
OK so i basically posted the question (which could have been my NWQOTD tomorrow-damn!) and looked at the responses so far and felt like explaining further, so here it is:

I'm a fairly young bride (25) and though I know that with regards to fertility I have TONS of time, I am also a very high-risk patient in every situation, and pregnancy will be the highest risk thing I have been allowed to do in my whole life.

Brief (very abbreviated history): i was born with heart problems, had surgery, but still have complications. though i'm told i'm healthy, my heart will never be 'normal'. i have narrow valves and high blood pressure (though i'm not overweight or diabetic). long story short i'm already so high risk that the older i get the higher the risk climbs, and fast.

in the end that leaves me wanting kids early to minimize the risk as much as possible. DH knows this, (he is older than me, 29), and agrees, but still vaguely says 'a couple years' when we talk about TTC.

so in the longest way possible my question is- how/when did you (and your DH) know you were ready to start TTC?

Re: I *want* to be ready to TTC....

I'm due with a in February.

If you asked DH and me in January (when we got married) when we were going to TTC, we both would have laughed and said at least 3 years from now. Then one day, it honestly just clicked for both of us. I can't really describe it, but it was as it we knew the time was right to start. The biggest things holding us back were living so far away from family and wanting to travel. Well, DH got a job that is now 20 minutes away from his family (as opposed to the 10-12 hours we were living away from our families), and they also pay for him to go to overseas conferences--all we'd have to pay for in traveling in the future is my ticket and my food. When we realized that, we just knew it was the perfect time FOR US. For someone who never wanted to be pregnant (I always wanted to adopt), I all of a sudden couldn't think of anything else except trying to get pregnant. And when I brought it up to DH he was just as excited about the idea of TTC as I was.

When you know, you'll know--just like the moment you knew that your DH was 'the one!'

Re: I *want* to be ready to TTC....

I hear ya Mer! I have the baby fever, but I know it's not the right thing for us right now. It's tough but we're reasonably young and have enough time to have babies! I wish I had an answer for you though of when you know!

Re: I *want* to be ready to TTC....

we are always around a lot of kids... and seperate people came up to us and told us that we were ready... one said that i was near someones baby carriage and i started rocking it back and forth... (I had no idea i started doing that)...

and another time Shaun and I were helping his cousin with their kids and i was holding one of them and she fell asleep on me and another one fell asleep on Shaun and we were standing next to each other...

and again someone came up to me and said they knew that we were ready!

Re: I *want* to be ready to TTC....

Im 35 and Im still unsure ...


Im no help but I wanted to tell you youre not alone ... Im in the same boat - I flip flop on it all the time ...

Re: I *want* to be ready to TTC....

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Posted by SoontobeMrs.Brown

Im 35 and Im still unsure ...


Im no help but I wanted to tell you youre not alone ... Im in the same boat - I flip flop on it all the time ...

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I'm 30 and go back and forth about it. It is a life altering decision that can't be taken lightly. I want to continue to enjoy being married first.

Re: I *want* to be ready to TTC....

I'm kind of deathly afraid of having kids ... i mean, i want them eventually but it just seems like such a scary and big change!

DH and I want to be able to travel and have fun and go out with friends without finding a sitter, etc.

i'm not sure when we'll start with the baby-makin' ... just thinking about it makes my heart beat faster (because i'm nervous)

great question though ... good to knwo i'm not alone

Re: I *want* to be ready to TTC....(new edit)

I am 25, enough said..

Re: I *want* to be ready to TTC....(new edit)

i think you need to question it and think about what are the things you need/want to do before you have kids and what is not so important. do you want a house? travel? those were the two big things for us. we decided that we didnt want the stress of buying a house right now but we want to travel to a few more places that we could not do with little ones. (like amsterdam lol)

do u guys go out partying every weekend? are there things in your life that you are willing to change? this is what DH and I talk about. My medical issues are preventing me from TTC right now cuz I cannot function without my meds. But if it werent for that, I would be ready!

Re: I *want* to be ready to TTC....(new edit)

When we were first together we both thought we weren't ready to TTC because we both wanted to have time to be selfish in our relationship (you know, all about us, and not about a baby. Go on vacation, spend money, etc.). And we also knew we wanted to wait because I'm a grad student and we want to wait until I'm done with classes. I think now we're both ready to TTC, but it's just classes that's holding us back.

I think to an extent the giving up the ability to be selfish and have life be about you all the time is the big conflict when deciding to become a parent because we all know once a baby is born it's about them from that moment on. That being said, I think if you do want to have kids but you're afraid to wait for health reasons, if you truly want to have a child, while you're going through everything you will learn to be ready and be really happy when it's born.

Re: I *want* to be ready to TTC....(new edit)

You have FM to answer your updated question!

Re: I *want* to be ready to TTC....(new edit)

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Posted by SoontobeMrs.Brown

Im 35 and Im still unsure ...


Im no help but I wanted to tell you youre not alone ... Im in the same boat - I flip flop on it all the time ...

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Ditto~I'm 36 and before we got married, we wanted a HM baby. On the HM, I said~no way!! I'm at the point now- 6 months being married where I'm catching the fever. It sounds cliche- but...you'll know when the right time is for you guys.

Re: I *want* to be ready to TTC....(new edit)

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Posted by StaceyWill

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Posted by SoontobeMrs.Brown

Im 35 and Im still unsure ...


Im no help but I wanted to tell you youre not alone ... Im in the same boat - I flip flop on it all the time ...

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Ditto~I'm 36 and before we got married, we wanted a HM baby. On the HM, I said~no way!! I'm at the point now- 6 months being married where I'm catching the fever. It sounds cliche- but...you'll know when the right time is for you guys.

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This. I turned 36 last week, and we've been trying for the last month and a half... but whatever happens, happens.

Re: I *want* to be ready to TTC....(new edit)

i want babies like yesterday...

but we both feel 100% on the fact that we should have a solid 6months together at least before we focus on anything but ourselves.

we are putting ourselves on a very strict budget from january til june so that we can pay off our credit cards and put a little nest money away.

little being the key word but lol...

also i dont want a winter baby if i can help it. so june/july is when i'm willing to officially pull the goalie 100%

i'm already off birth control and have been keeping track of my cycles.

i do want to 'try' for a boy so its important i have a good few months completely charted so that i can make the best effort at conceiving a boy.





as far as anyone who doesn't feel ready.

you either want kids and are open to them or you aren't.

no one is ever fully ready in every aspect. theres always more you 'could do' to be ready.

don't wait too long but DO take time for the two of you.

i also look at it as... i'm 26 so sure i have plenty of time. but DH is 32. so already by the time the kid graduates high school... DH will be as old as my parents are now.

thats iff the kid was born today which obvs... wont'.

Re: I *want* to be ready to TTC....(new edit)

I'm 25 as well, DH is turning 27 this month. We wanted to wait about 3 years until we were more settled. Now DH has been talking about less time and I'm a little freaked!

For DH the biggest issue is money- he would like to buy a house first and save money so we can have a good life for our child.

I agree with this completely. But my other issue is, I think I'm too selfish right now to have a child. I love my running, workouts and want to run a full marathon before having a child. I like being able to go for a run when I want. I like being able to go out for dinner and drinks with DH whenever we want. I dont think I'm ready to give up that freedom for a baby just yet.

Re: I *want* to be ready to TTC....(new edit)

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Posted by jilliibabii

I hear ya Mer! I have the baby fever, but I know it's not the right thing for us right now. It's tough but we're reasonably young and have enough time to have babies! I wish I had an answer for you though of when you know!

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Ita. We both want babies NOW but we know right now is not the best time. Honestly though, there never is a perfect time especially moneywise. You need to be mentally ready. I also feel the pressure more because I'm high risk so I relate. I had 2 miscarriages have thyroid and blood clotting issues. I will be seeing sooo many drs while pregnant so I worry and know the older I get the more risk there is. Some days we are like let's just go for it - but others we are like let's be reponsible and wait a few months or so. Its so hard and extra scary when you're high risk. I totally relate mer.

Re: I *want* to be ready to TTC....(new edit)

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Posted by JoanneAndJustin

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Posted by StaceyWill

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Posted by SoontobeMrs.Brown

Im 35 and Im still unsure ...


Im no help but I wanted to tell you youre not alone ... Im in the same boat - I flip flop on it all the time ...

---

Ditto~I'm 36 and before we got married, we wanted a HM baby. On the HM, I said~no way!! I'm at the point now- 6 months being married where I'm catching the fever. It sounds cliche- but...you'll know when the right time is for you guys.

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This. I turned 36 last week, and we've been trying for the last month and a half... but whatever happens, happens.

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I will be 36 in a few months and DH is older than me so we felt that we should try right away. I have a 'schedule' worked out so we will see. It all feels so rushed but I guess it sort of has to be. More for him than me (since I am a bit younger).

Re: I *want* to be ready to TTC....(new edit)

i've really really enjoyed reading all the responses, its been very helpful and insightful! (and a special shout out to my FM buddy who made me feel muchhh better about all this)

anyways I sat DH down last night and we talked it out for a while- I told him when he says 'a couple years' vaguely it makes me nervous....we talked through both our reasons for wanting to start TTC when we do...he wants to wait until some craziness at work (family business) dies down, which makes total sense because he is 100% focused on that right now, working long hrs etc. So we decided that starting TTC in about 12-18 months is prob best for us, and that at my next gyn appt (in the spring) i'm going to start talking to her about what I need to do to prepare my body for this. it was a good talk and made me feel much more prepared.

thanks so much everyone! and keep the responses coming its really great to read them!

Re: I *want* to be ready to TTC....(new edit)

I feel the same way so many of you do too. We arent TTC but arent not TTC (if that makes sense)

I have such baby fever lately and i dont know if its because of the holidays and all my little cousins or what but its weird all of a sudden. Financially we are not ready but like one of the girls said you are never completely ready.

Re: I *want* to be ready to TTC....(new edit)

We are currently TTC. We initially deicded to try because of a few factors! 1..our age. I am 29 and he is going to be 32. We feel that its time. 2..we have been together for almost 10 years...got married...it seems like the next rational step for us. 3..I have a history of ovarian and abdominal problems. So, we figured the earlier we start...the longer we'd have to overcome the obstacles.

HTH!