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If someone was asking to use all of your vendors, would you be okay with this??

Original post by shelzyp

Teri Posted:

Re: If someone was asking to use all of your vendors, would you be okay with this??

I actually would be upset, but I don't think I'd say anything....after all, she CAN use whoever she wants. I'd think most people who know both of you would pick up on the similiarities - and she'd look bad because of it.

shelzyp Posted:

Re: If someone was asking to use all of your vendors, would you be okay with this??

What if she wanted to wear the same dress as you???

would that be okay??

I think the ceremony is much more important then a dress! It is the enoter reason for the wedding, and the need for a dress, a hall and a DJ.

Misty Posted:

Re: If someone was asking to use all of your vendors, would you be okay with this??

Posted by yabbobay

Michelle's SIL has a habit of insulting the way Michelle does things...yet she is copying everything...



I didn't know this...now this is exactly what happened to me. lol. And, it made me p'd off. Honestly, I was flattered that she wanted to do so many of the same things, but every comment was backhanded, and everytime she booked another one of our vendors, she gave them a list of things not to do that were done at our wedding, and told me about it. By the time her wedding rolled around, I was so bitter and annoyed that I didn't even want to be there. But I'm glad I was, it didn't even compare to our wedding after all of her stupid 'rules'...
shelzyp Posted:

Re: If someone was asking to use all of your vendors, would you be okay with this??

I could care less about a DJ, or colors, but I don't wnat to sit thru the cermoney that DH and I pledged our love and commitement. I can not do that. And since I am a BM, I ahve to sit thru it!!

ChristineC68 Posted:

Re: If someone was asking to use all of your vendors, would you be okay with this??

I know there's a history of this with your relationship with you and your SIL from other threads.

What I don't really understand is why no one seems to realize this is so important to you and that it is in fact upsetting to you yet, everyone else is worried about maybe upsetting her?

So what if she flips out? She's an adult and will get over it.

And if she doesn't, who cares?

This is so important to you and I think your DH should back you up and tell his sister to take a hike on this one.
shelzyp Posted:

Re: If someone was asking to use all of your vendors, would you be okay with this??

Christine - she has been known in the past to flip over nothing, and then she would tell us, we couldn't come to the wedding, ever see our niece, stuff like that. We will be living next dorr to his paretns, and she lives in the apartment upstairs.

When we fight, noone is happy, vin's paretns and brother are pulled into the mix, and vin wants everyone to get along.
ChristineC68 Posted:

Re: If someone was asking to use all of your vendors, would you be okay with this??

I am sorry that childish behaviour is tolerated by her entire family and that you have to put up with it to keep the peace.

shelzyp Posted:

Re: If someone was asking to use all of your vendors, would you be okay with this??

That is pretty much the situation!!

stacedz Posted:

Re: If someone was asking to use all of your vendors, would you be okay with this??

If it was someone that I didn't care for, yes I would honestly. It wouldn't be flattery in that case and being that you have a history with your SIL, I think I would be pissed.

mv1003 Posted:

Re: If someone was asking to use all of your vendors, would you be okay with this??

I see now the situation w/ your SIL, and I'm sorry. It's not flattering at this point.

As far as the same dress- I'd have to draw the line...... and regarding the ceremony, talk to your husband, do you think he'd back you up on this?
shelzyp Posted:

Re: If someone was asking to use all of your vendors, would you be okay with this??

He backs me up, but is so worried about causing a war, since he knows his sister is crazy.

Teri Posted:

Re: If someone was asking to use all of your vendors, would you be okay with this??

Wait - she actually said she wanted to buy the same dress? Ok, that's a bit much IMO! Don't have any real suggestions but maybe someone can bring her out and have her research the whole wedding industry out there - no need to do everything the same!!

2UNTAMED Posted:

Re: If someone was asking to use all of your vendors, would you be okay with this??

Is writting your own vows and option? If so, make them your speacial words and pledges, but DO NOT TELL HER about it. Maybe she will go with the NORM Ceremonial passages, and your will still be original, unique and from the heart....

As far as everthing else, I would try not to let it bother you too much especially if you can not do anything about her using your vendors. The last thing you want is her spreading the word at you wedding that you were either too selfish to share your vendors!!
Take it as a compliment... And since she is no longer in the WP, not need to give her exact details on your flowers, songs etc.
shelzyp Posted:

Re: If someone was asking to use all of your vendors, would you be okay with this??

Posted by Teri

Wait - she actually said she wanted to buy the same dress? Ok, that's a bit much IMO! Don't have any real suggestions but maybe someone can bring her out and have her research the whole wedding industry out there - no need to do everything the same!!


No she didn't but I was using this as an example, so many people think that if she did this it would be bad, but I was trying to make a point, sorry for the confusion.
shelzyp Posted:

Re: If someone was asking to use all of your vendors, would you be okay with this??

Posted by 2UNTAMED

Is writting your own vows and option? If so, make them your speacial words and pledges, but DO NOT TELL HER about it. Maybe she will go with the NORM Ceremonial passages, and your will still be original, unique and from the heart....

As far as everthing else, I would try not to let it bother you too much especially if you can not do anything about her using your vendors. The last thing you want is her spreading the word at you wedding that you were either too selfish to share your vendors!!
Take it as a compliment... And since she is no longer in the WP, not need to give her exact details on your flowers, songs etc.


My wedding already happened, it was in October 2003.
2UNTAMED Posted:

Re: If someone was asking to use all of your vendors, would you be okay with this??

So sorry... I thought it was an upcoming wedding.....

Becky Posted:

Re: If someone was asking to use all of your vendors, would you be okay with this??

Could your brother just say to her that he didn't like your ceremony and that he wants someone else. If you are worried that the truth will cause a war, just enlist the help of your brother to focus her attention in a different direction away from your ceremony.
Tammy5-03 Posted:

Re: If someone was asking to use all of your vendors, would you be okay with this??

My brother is going to be using a lot of the same vendors and that is fine with me. In your situation I would be annoyed too. However, I don't think the ceremony will be the same even if its the same officiant. He or she couldn't possibly say the same things to all couples. Maybe you could show her certain passages or readings that she might like so she doesn't use anything to similar to yours. She seems to lack imagination, just feed her new ideas.

butterfly20 Posted:

Re: If someone was asking to use all of your vendors, would you be okay with this??

if you dont want to disturb things, can you tell her the officiant moved out of state, so they wouldnt be availible...

janwinterbridejoy Posted:

Re: If someone was asking to use all of your vendors, would you be okay with this??

i would be flattered i guess but i wouldnt want her to use something as personal as an officiant. i would just say he is booked or something like that

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