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im ending my marriage

Original post by luvabul

ive been married for 7 months, and its NOTHING of what i expected it to be, i know its a lot of comprimise and patience, but in return i get NOTHING, nothing, no results, no appreciation, no smiles....nothing

We live with my inlaws right now...
we have financial issues! school debt, etc
and i can not possibly STAND his mom, she is just way to hard to please...
everything in his life is # 1, but me, and i just cant take it anymore..... theres so much more, i just dont feel like typing it all up....
im just so sad and heartbroken.

ive been with him since 5 years now... and i couldnt WAIT to get married, i was so excited and happy...but its a nightmare...



and no, therapy is NOT an answer... DH doesnt believe in it, and will not go.


UPDATE: i stayed at my moms house, or was intending on...until the doorbell rang and it was DH saying how great of i wife i am, and he wants me to come back home, and he was here to pick me up.... i caved in, because i love him, and hes a great person, our circumstances are just bad... debt, inlaws, work timings etc.... he said try to think of it this way, that its not going to be like this forever.... im done with my masters next semester, and ill be heading to Law School, something i really wana pursue... the money to go to law school makes me want to cringe, but i guess if thats what i really want to do? i should just suck it up and take a loan? He's really supportive of me career-and education wise.

Anyways, things have calmed down for now. There are those days where i feel like just picking up and leaving, because im just so sick and tired. But i guess its like that old saying:
'Marriages don't end. People give up. The question is whether giving up is wise or not.'

It wasnt always like this... infact before we got married, we barely ever fought... i guess neither one of us knew what to expect...

Maybe ive been hitting some rough patches lately, but we agreed we sincerly want to make it work....

lets see what happens, thanks for the advice and well wishes...
love u guys
dancerandchef Posted:

Re: im ending my marriage

We are so sorry to hear about this. We hope that it works out. One thing that really works for us is communication. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

~dancer and chef~
charlotte and michael
HeatherRose Posted:

Re: im ending my marriage

Posted by luvabul

ive been married for 7 months, and its NOTHING of what i expected it to be, i know its a lot of comprimise and patience, but in return i get NOTHING, nothing, no results, no appreciation, no smiles....nothing

We live with my inlaws right now...
we have financial issues! school debt, etc
and i can not possibly STAND his mom, she is just way to hard to please...
everything in his life is # 1, but me, and i just cant take it anymore..... theres so much more, i just dont feel like typing it all up....
im just so sad and heartbroken.

ive been with him since 5 years now... and i couldnt WAIT to get married, i was so excited and happy...but its a nightmare...



and no, therapy is NOT an answer... DH doesnt believe in it, and will not go.


UPDATE: i stayed at my moms house, or was intending on...until the doorbell rang and it was DH saying how great of i wife i am, and he wants me to come back home, and he was here to pick me up.... i caved in, because i love him, and hes a great person, our circumstances are just bad... debt, inlaws, work timings etc.... he said try to think of it this way, that its not going to be like this forever.... im done with my masters next semester, and ill be heading to Law School, something i really wana pursue... the money to go to law school makes me want to cringe, but i guess if thats what i really want to do? i should just suck it up and take a loan? He's really supportive of me career-and education wise.

Anyways, things have calmed down for now. There are those days where i feel like just picking up and leaving, because im just so sick and tired. But i guess its like that old saying:
'Marriages don't end. People give up. The question is whether giving up is wise or not.'

It wasnt always like this... infact before we got married, we barely ever fought... i guess neither one of us knew what to expect...

Maybe ive been hitting some rough patches lately, but we agreed we sincerly want to make it work....

lets see what happens, thanks for the advice and well wishes...
love u guys




awww i'm so glad you guys are going to try and make it work. I know how hard it is, I've been with DH 7 years and we have hit our bad patches, but after its all done and said, it makes your relationship so much stronger. Things happen for a reason. Good Luck!!
mskittynj Posted:

Re: im ending my marriage

Marriage is def. not easy!!!!!!! If you two love one another don't ever give up!!!! Our generation doesn't work at things, People just throw their hands in the air and give up! I wish you the best!
Things may seem hard now but I am sure it will get better!
XOXOXO
Kitty
sugarkube4 Posted:

Re: im ending my marriage

I'm sorry you are having a rough time.. It's always darkest before the dawn... Things will work out.. they always do!!! Cheer Up!!!!
Future Mrs. Posted:

Re: im ending my marriage

the first year of marraige is very challenging....even if you lived together beforehand.

I willget roasted for saying this but I think that a lot of girls on here paint an overly rosy view of this first year of marraige as newleywed bliss, hot sex, new homes, and homecooked meals served every night....that's not always the reality (I'm sure for many it is, but I don't think that a lot of people disclose the negative.)

Regardless, hang in there and try your best to make it work. Its a long road.....but that's what you promised in your vows!

Perhaps you can set smaller realistic goals? Goal number one would be getting yoru own place. May not happen overnight but if you feel as if you're working toward it and getting closer every day, things will improve!

Good luck and FM if you want to talk!
jtgarsik Posted:

Re: im ending my marriage



I'm so glad to hear u guys are trying to work through this..u're DH is right when he says 'it wont be like this forever'....it wont! which is exactly why u're going to plow through all of this & come out a million times stronger on the other side just make sure u DO address the underlying issues that have been eating at u...be honest with DH & talk through EVERYTHING to try to find a resolution..because if u dont they WILL come back in the future. Again, i wish u all the best with lots of hugs, love & prayers

this is what vows are all about!
sept08ihope Posted:

Re: im ending my marriage

just wanted to say stay strong and wishing you the best

MrsQ-in2007 Posted:

Re: im ending my marriage

I'm really happy to hear that your DH came to get you and that he seems willing to make it work as you do! Good luck - it will get better!!
HeatherRose Posted:

Re: im ending my marriage

Posted by luvabul

ive been married for 7 months, and its NOTHING of what i expected it to be, i know its a lot of comprimise and patience, but in return i get NOTHING, nothing, no results, no appreciation, no smiles....nothing

We live with my inlaws right now...
we have financial issues! school debt, etc
and i can not possibly STAND his mom, she is just way to hard to please...
everything in his life is # 1, but me, and i just cant take it anymore..... theres so much more, i just dont feel like typing it all up....
im just so sad and heartbroken.

ive been with him since 5 years now... and i couldnt WAIT to get married, i was so excited and happy...but its a nightmare...



and no, therapy is NOT an answer... DH doesnt believe in it, and will not go.


UPDATE: i stayed at my moms house, or was intending on...until the doorbell rang and it was DH saying how great of i wife i am, and he wants me to come back home, and he was here to pick me up.... i caved in, because i love him, and hes a great person, our circumstances are just bad... debt, inlaws, work timings etc.... he said try to think of it this way, that its not going to be like this forever.... im done with my masters next semester, and ill be heading to Law School, something i really wana pursue... the money to go to law school makes me want to cringe, but i guess if thats what i really want to do? i should just suck it up and take a loan? He's really supportive of me career-and education wise.

Anyways, things have calmed down for now. There are those days where i feel like just picking up and leaving, because im just so sick and tired. But i guess its like that old saying:
'Marriages don't end. People give up. The question is whether giving up is wise or not.'

It wasnt always like this... infact before we got married, we barely ever fought... i guess neither one of us knew what to expect...

Maybe ive been hitting some rough patches lately, but we agreed we sincerly want to make it work....

lets see what happens, thanks for the advice and well wishes...
love u guys


So I guess ending the marrage wasn't real, if you weren't even married yet??

How could you tell us you've been married for 7 months at that time, and you werent! and you think everyone should still trust you and like you? You have serious problems!!
B22 Posted:

Re: im ending my marriage

Posted by HeatherRose

Posted by luvabul

ive been married for 7 months, and its NOTHING of what i expected it to be, i know its a lot of comprimise and patience, but in return i get NOTHING, nothing, no results, no appreciation, no smiles....nothing

We live with my inlaws right now...
we have financial issues! school debt, etc
and i can not possibly STAND his mom, she is just way to hard to please...
everything in his life is # 1, but me, and i just cant take it anymore..... theres so much more, i just dont feel like typing it all up....
im just so sad and heartbroken.

ive been with him since 5 years now... and i couldnt WAIT to get married, i was so excited and happy...but its a nightmare...



and no, therapy is NOT an answer... DH doesnt believe in it, and will not go.


UPDATE: i stayed at my moms house, or was intending on...until the doorbell rang and it was DH saying how great of i wife i am, and he wants me to come back home, and he was here to pick me up.... i caved in, because i love him, and hes a great person, our circumstances are just bad... debt, inlaws, work timings etc.... he said try to think of it this way, that its not going to be like this forever.... im done with my masters next semester, and ill be heading to Law School, something i really wana pursue... the money to go to law school makes me want to cringe, but i guess if thats what i really want to do? i should just suck it up and take a loan? He's really supportive of me career-and education wise.

Anyways, things have calmed down for now. There are those days where i feel like just picking up and leaving, because im just so sick and tired. But i guess its like that old saying:
'Marriages don't end. People give up. The question is whether giving up is wise or not.'

It wasnt always like this... infact before we got married, we barely ever fought... i guess neither one of us knew what to expect...

Maybe ive been hitting some rough patches lately, but we agreed we sincerly want to make it work....

lets see what happens, thanks for the advice and well wishes...
love u guys


So I guess ending the marrage wasn't real, if you weren't even married yet??

How could you tell us you've been married for 7 months at that time, and you werent! and you think everyone should still trust you and like you? You have serious problems!!


huh? she got married in july of 07... this was posted in jan 08
HeatherRose Posted:

Re: im ending my marriage

Posted by carolinep24

Posted by HeatherRose

Posted by luvabul

ive been married for 7 months, and its NOTHING of what i expected it to be, i know its a lot of comprimise and patience, but in return i get NOTHING, nothing, no results, no appreciation, no smiles....nothing

We live with my inlaws right now...
we have financial issues! school debt, etc
and i can not possibly STAND his mom, she is just way to hard to please...
everything in his life is # 1, but me, and i just cant take it anymore..... theres so much more, i just dont feel like typing it all up....
im just so sad and heartbroken.

ive been with him since 5 years now... and i couldnt WAIT to get married, i was so excited and happy...but its a nightmare...



and no, therapy is NOT an answer... DH doesnt believe in it, and will not go.


UPDATE: i stayed at my moms house, or was intending on...until the doorbell rang and it was DH saying how great of i wife i am, and he wants me to come back home, and he was here to pick me up.... i caved in, because i love him, and hes a great person, our circumstances are just bad... debt, inlaws, work timings etc.... he said try to think of it this way, that its not going to be like this forever.... im done with my masters next semester, and ill be heading to Law School, something i really wana pursue... the money to go to law school makes me want to cringe, but i guess if thats what i really want to do? i should just suck it up and take a loan? He's really supportive of me career-and education wise.

Anyways, things have calmed down for now. There are those days where i feel like just picking up and leaving, because im just so sick and tired. But i guess its like that old saying:
'Marriages don't end. People give up. The question is whether giving up is wise or not.'

It wasnt always like this... infact before we got married, we barely ever fought... i guess neither one of us knew what to expect...

Maybe ive been hitting some rough patches lately, but we agreed we sincerly want to make it work....

lets see what happens, thanks for the advice and well wishes...
love u guys


So I guess ending the marrage wasn't real, if you weren't even married yet??

How could you tell us you've been married for 7 months at that time, and you werent! and you think everyone should still trust you and like you? You have serious problems!!


huh? she got married in july of 07... this was posted in jan 08


i guess I messed up the dates with that one Wonder if this story was really true
B22 Posted:

Re: im ending my marriage

Posted by HeatherRose

Posted by carolinep24

Posted by HeatherRose

Posted by luvabul

ive been married for 7 months, and its NOTHING of what i expected it to be, i know its a lot of comprimise and patience, but in return i get NOTHING, nothing, no results, no appreciation, no smiles....nothing

We live with my inlaws right now...
we have financial issues! school debt, etc
and i can not possibly STAND his mom, she is just way to hard to please...
everything in his life is # 1, but me, and i just cant take it anymore..... theres so much more, i just dont feel like typing it all up....
im just so sad and heartbroken.

ive been with him since 5 years now... and i couldnt WAIT to get married, i was so excited and happy...but its a nightmare...



and no, therapy is NOT an answer... DH doesnt believe in it, and will not go.


UPDATE: i stayed at my moms house, or was intending on...until the doorbell rang and it was DH saying how great of i wife i am, and he wants me to come back home, and he was here to pick me up.... i caved in, because i love him, and hes a great person, our circumstances are just bad... debt, inlaws, work timings etc.... he said try to think of it this way, that its not going to be like this forever.... im done with my masters next semester, and ill be heading to Law School, something i really wana pursue... the money to go to law school makes me want to cringe, but i guess if thats what i really want to do? i should just suck it up and take a loan? He's really supportive of me career-and education wise.

Anyways, things have calmed down for now. There are those days where i feel like just picking up and leaving, because im just so sick and tired. But i guess its like that old saying:
'Marriages don't end. People give up. The question is whether giving up is wise or not.'

It wasnt always like this... infact before we got married, we barely ever fought... i guess neither one of us knew what to expect...

Maybe ive been hitting some rough patches lately, but we agreed we sincerly want to make it work....

lets see what happens, thanks for the advice and well wishes...
love u guys


So I guess ending the marrage wasn't real, if you weren't even married yet??

How could you tell us you've been married for 7 months at that time, and you werent! and you think everyone should still trust you and like you? You have serious problems!!


huh? she got married in july of 07... this was posted in jan 08


i guess I messed up the dates with that one Wonder if this story was really true


who knows.
carolinebr Posted:

Re: im ending my marriage

(gets on soapbox)

I say leave the girl alone. I for one believe that she was having a hard time. Not everyone has a wonderful first year of marriage and its nothing to laugh at. She came here for support and she also supported a lot of you guys when you were having bad days. Leave her be. Enough already.

(gets off soapbox)

curiousgeorge Posted:

Re: im ending my marriage

Posted by carolinebr

(gets on soapbox)

I say leave the girl alone. I for one believe that she was having a hard time. Not everyone has a wonderful first year of marriage and its nothing to laugh at. She came here for support and she also supported a lot of you guys when you were having bad days. Leave her be. Enough already.

(gets off soapbox)



agreed
jtgarsik Posted:

Re: im ending my marriage

Posted by carolinebr

(gets on soapbox)

I say leave the girl alone. I for one believe that she was having a hard time. Not everyone has a wonderful first year of marriage and its nothing to laugh at. She came here for support and she also supported a lot of you guys when you were having bad days. Leave her be. Enough already.

(gets off soapbox)



I agree.... why was this thread even brought up again?????
surfersgirl Posted:

Re: im ending my marriage

Yea, I am new to the newlywed board and my first couple of days have not given me a nice impression...

jtgarsik Posted:

Re: im ending my marriage

oooooOOoohh - i get it!


NOTW

u guys are insane lol.
Bride4Mike07 Posted:

Re: im ending my marriage

I haven't been here for a while so if you've changed your mind, I apologize if I'm late....Or as others mentioned here, don't know why it was brought up again....but here's my advice to you luvable.....
I do understand what you mean, because for some reason, I've seen relationships that have deteriorated simply because they signed those dotted lines. I don't believe in divorce, neither does DH but if it came to the point where neither one of us could stand to look at each other, then I guess that's the only solution.

Therapy is not the only solution, I'm sure what you're facing/faced is something every one of us has lived through, and I'm sure if you got the advice of financial experts, you too can find a solution. Maybe you and DH can sit down and think about what is important to you right now, in the next 6 months and future and be realistic with these goals. Then you can also sit and look where you can cut back. I'm sure if you talk (even if it's till you turn blue in the face), you both will find a solution. I honestly hope you could find some solution, or some comfort at making the marriage work.
The first year is always the worst! DH and I are going through personal problems ourselves. He quit his job, was not working for 1 month...finally started work again, but probably won't be able to enjoy our planned Anniversary vacation. Luckily, I had put some money aside and cut down on spending. Believe you me, I've been in your shoes....There's nothing I would want more than to make my marriage work, so if there's any advice I can provide for you, or help you with any suggestions, feel free to look count on me, no matter how feable you may think it is.....Good luck to you and please find a way to find a common ground, you guys married because you love each other, find that man you fell in love with.....
joshisgirl Posted:

Re: im ending my marriage

Posted by carolinebr

(gets on soapbox)

I say leave the girl alone. I for one believe that she was having a hard time. Not everyone has a wonderful first year of marriage and its nothing to laugh at. She came here for support and she also supported a lot of you guys when you were having bad days. Leave her be. Enough already.

(gets off soapbox)



i agree, plus i know what crazy indian in-laws are like ( not mine but my mom's ((my grandmother's the biggest bitc h u will ever meet)) and i honestly i don't have a hard time believing her.

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