I'm not sure what I'm trying to get out of this....

I'm not sure what I'm trying to get out of this....

Re: I'm not sure what I'm trying to get out of this....

I am so sorry you have to go through this. I know how you feel and I wouldn't want my worst enemy to have to go through that. I don't know what your situation is like but I am the first of my friends to lose a parent and I know it can be such an isolating feeling. It is much easier said than done but try to reflect on the good times. When funny things happen I like to imagine how my stepdad would react and more often than not it brings a smile to my face. If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to FM me.

Re: I'm not sure what I'm trying to get out of this....

I understand what your going through. My dad died in Dec 2001, it was quick and sudden, it happened when he was at work and none of us were around him, we were all flying home from my aunts house. There is a whole lot that he has missed out on, like me graduating grad school, he never met DH, my wedding, and now my sister is getting married.

We don't really talk about him much anymore for some reason and DH doesn't really understand because he never met him.

So, I totally get you

Re: I'm not sure what I'm trying to get out of this....

I'm so sorry! I don't have any advice just wanted to give some

Re: I'm not sure what I'm trying to get out of this....

I think its a huge step that you were able to come on here and post about it. I'm so sorry for your loss and I think its okay that you think about him all the time, don't forget him, I'm sure he would have loved to have seen everything that has happened but I'm also sure he would have wanted you to also continue to be happy and not dwell on negativity of him not being able to come back. I think its cute that you & your DH can sit around and have a moment about missing him. I think its sweet.






edited for a typo

Re: I'm not sure what I'm trying to get out of this....

I can understand how you feel. My brother died in May and I think of him everyday. Have you thought of joining a bereavement group? I personally do not go to one but my parents do and it has really helped them to meet other people who can understand their feelings better. My therapist has said there is no right way to grieve but talking about it helps. What helps me to talk about it in therapy is to think about what I want to discuss before I go to therapy. If you ever need to talk please feel free to FM me. Feel better!

Re: I'm not sure what I'm trying to get out of this....

i am so sorry first for your loss and second for you feeling like this

im no expert but i think its just you see all this good happening to you and your fam and u want him there to see it all..see but i think he is..i think he has watched eevrything go on and is so very proud of you and ur fam.

i hope u feel better and if u ever need to talk fm me anytime

Re: I'm not sure what I'm trying to get out of this....

I'm so sorry for you!

Re: I'm not sure what I'm trying to get out of this....

I read some of the responses some of the ladies already put up and I don't h ave too much to add to that. Just wanted to give you some hugs and say that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Everyone does it in their own time, and grieving for a parent is one of the hardest things you can do. Just know you're not alone.

Re: I'm not sure what I'm trying to get out of this....

Just so you know he is still with you guys! all those great things thats happened in your family! you and your brother getting married you sister having babies your mom graduating college!! you have to remember that you dad is still there and was with every single one of you thru those moments!

there is nothing i can really say to make you feel better i dont know what exactly you are feeling!
just keep thinking he may be gone physically, but emotionally and spiritually he is always with you!!

sorry hun!!!

Re: I'm not sure what I'm trying to get out of this....

I don't have anything constructive to say other than what has already been said. I cannot imagine being in your shoes and I wouldn't begin to tell you how you 'should feel.'

Just wanted you to know someone is listening.

Re: I'm not sure what I'm trying to get out of this....

I'm sure there are plenty of people who can relate. Personally, I lost someone extremely close to me years and years ago, and there are days that I could still just cry about it. But I know that person is looking down on me and is sharing all these joyous events with me. Talking definitely helps and maybe this is the first step for you. Nothing but time can make you feel better, but I'm a strong believer in that our past loved ones are always with us. I know someone mentioned either joining a group or seeing a therapist and I would definitely recommend it. Talking is the best way to get through it.

Re: I'm not sure what I'm trying to get out of this....

I'm soooo sorry!

I think what you are feeling is normal. I'm terribly sorry for your loss.

Re: I'm not sure what I'm trying to get out of this....

I dont entirely know what you are going through...but I did lose my sister 5 months ago (9 days before my wedding)
She was living in PA and wasnt able to attend any of my pre wedding celebrations. My wedding was going to be the first time id seen her in about 2 years.
Because of the wedding, and then the holidays - my family, especially my mom, really didnt have a chance to properly mourn.
My great uncle just passed away last week & it seems to have triggered a ton of emotion in my mom, and she has decided to go to a grief counselor. I hope it helps.
Maybe someone who specializes in grief would help over a regular therapist??

You just have to remember that your dad has had the best seat in the house at all of those great moments that have happened since he's passed. He's with you always.

Re: I'm not sure what I'm trying to get out of this....

i read everything everyone else wrote and honestly can't think of anything else to add... i agree with so much of what everyone has to say, i don't want to repeat... i just wanted you to know that i'm also someone that's listening and that you don't have to feel any which way... i just thought you could use some extra hugs...

Re: I'm not sure what I'm trying to get out of this....

I am so sorry you are going through this. I am not in the same situation but I did lose someone close to me 2 years ago it was very hard - my grandfather. I think it will get better with time and its good to talk to other people about how you are feeling. There will always be something that you will see or hear that will remind you of them, but you just have to try to remember the good times. I hope things get better.

Re: I'm not sure what I'm trying to get out of this....

I dont have any words of advice but wanted to give you some

Re: I'm not sure what I'm trying to get out of this....

I think you are brave to post that and to admit the hard time you're going through. . I think that talking about it with other people going through the same thing can def help. .

also have you tried something like writing your dad a letter once a month to let him know how things are. . might be that a structured way of 'talking' to him might make you feel connected. This probably wouldn't be a long term strategy bc in some way I'm sure he would want you to direct your attention to being in your life (I'm not saying you're not all ) but just kind of structuring and formalizing a a connecting and grieving process. .

and I think that you will always have moments that you will miss him but hopefully they will not be as strong in an immobilizing way!

Re: I'm not sure what I'm trying to get out of this....

Danielle I'm sorry you are going through this. I lost my dad in June of 89 and I still think about him all the time. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Some days are better then others. I find whenever our family has a milestone it brings back the heartache all over again. What makes me feel better is knowing in my heart he is still with us and watches over all of us.. I'm sure your dad is watching over your family just look for signs!! For me it's a Cardinal and just the other day while DH and I were sitting in front of our house going back and forth about closing the restaurant and a Cardinal flew by and landed on the fence next to us.
DH and I just looked a the Cardinal and smiled knowing my dad was with us helping us make the right choice.

Just look and you will find him!! If you ever need someone to talk to about it you can call me!!!!

Re: I'm not sure what I'm trying to get out of this....

I lost my dad 10/14/07, so we were both the same week.... We've been thinking about going to see a medium. Have you thought about it and do you believe in them?

Hes been with you all along and watching so maybe it would be helpful for you to go?