Just feel like venting

Last summer we went to a good friend of DH's wedding, we gave them $400 dollars as a gift

They rsvp'd no to ours but said our gift was on its way, we just got the gift, which was about $50 dollars worth of bakeware off our registry.

DH was like they are done with.

Ughhh -wow.

Are they OOT?

I could go on all day about how we got jipped and stiffed, etc. Its awful. People have no etiquette.

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Posted by loislane

No offense but from the looks of your mansion in your profile pics it looks like you can afford the 400. If you are going to black list someone for a 50 dollar gift maybe you should send it back to them.

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by loislane

No offense but from the looks of your mansion in your profile pics it looks like you can afford the 400. If you are going to black list someone for a 50 dollar gift maybe you should send it back to them.

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I'd say that's a perfect use of that emoticon!!!

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Posted by loislane

No offense but from the looks of your mansion in your profile pics it looks like you can afford the 400. If you are going to black list someone for a 50 dollar gift maybe you should send it back to them.

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rudeness, much?

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Posted by MrsQ-in2007

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by loislane

No offense but from the looks of your mansion in your profile pics it looks like you can afford the 400. If you are going to black list someone for a 50 dollar gift maybe you should send it back to them.

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I'd say that's a perfect use of that emoticon!!!

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i was gonna say something but that this emoticon would say it all

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Posted by loislane

No offense but from the looks of your mansion in your profile pics it looks like you can afford the 400. If you are going to black list someone for a 50 dollar gift maybe you should send it back to them.

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Your probably a guest that puts shake and bake coupons in the envelope

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Posted by TheFutureMrsM

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Posted by loislane

No offense but from the looks of your mansion in your profile pics it looks like you can afford the 400. If you are going to black list someone for a 50 dollar gift maybe you should send it back to them.

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Your probably a guest that puts shake and bake coupons in the envelope

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OMG i just choked on my egg salad

wow

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Posted by snwb08

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Posted by TheFutureMrsM

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Posted by loislane

No offense but from the looks of your mansion in your profile pics it looks like you can afford the 400. If you are going to black list someone for a 50 dollar gift maybe you should send it back to them.

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Your probably a guest that puts shake and bake coupons in the envelope

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OMG i just choked on my egg salad

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Soooo because they didn't give you a gift that was equal to or more than what you gave them, it means the friendship is over???

How do you know their financial situation right now? Maybe they SEEM to have $$ and they don't and they wanted to send something anyway.

I know everyone is different but I really do NOT and NEVER WILL understand the concept of 'I gave this much and they are supposed to give us something of equal or more value in order for it to be okay'.

Its like they are damned if they do and damned if they don't. I would hope you wouldn't end an entire friendship over a gift you deem too cheap.

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Posted by TheFutureMrsM

Last summer we went to a good friend of DH's wedding, we gave them $400 dollars as a gift

They rsvp'd no to ours but said our gift was on its way, we just got the gift, which was about $50 dollars worth of bakeware off our registry.

DH was like they are done with.

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here's what I've always been told. When someone RSVPs no, they dont *have* to send a gift. To send a gift is being courteous. You didn't pay for their plate anyway. The gift is just something extra. They could have RSVPed no & sent nothing.. JMO

Maybe they are having a hard time financially. A lot of people are having a hard time right now....they may not show it but they are......

I can understand how you feel..... I still have a Groomsmen who for months kept saying, 'oh I forgot your gift at home'........more than 1 year later....no gift................It's not about the gift to me....just don't say anythign if your not going to give us anythign..because then we expect it.

I also have a few close friends who gave us nothing....not even a card.....I didn't have the heart to ask if it got lost.......I didn't want anyone to feel akward if money was tight for them.

These things are frustrating....especially when you put so much thought and $$ onto someone elses gift..............but don't throw away a good friendship because of this, especially because you may not have all teh facts!

just a heads up to fellow NWs..


THE DID NOT ATTEND THE WEDDING.... it isnt as if they stiffed them

I know this is a vent and you didn't ask for opinions but I just wanted to say something.

I don't think you should give gifts to get gifts. What was the point of you giving them $400 if you expected them to give you the same in return. I think it was very kind for them to even send a gift since they sent in the RSVP saying they could not attend your wedding. Maybe $400 was not in their budget, maybe to them $50 means a lot more than $400 does to you. Regardless of how much they make I think it is a bit shallow to end a friendship with someone over a gift that I believe I was entitled to or deserved.

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Posted by soon2bmrsVPT

just a heads up to fellow NWs..


THE DID NOT ATTEND THE WEDDING.... it isnt as if they stiffed them

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Right.

And based on our guests who didn't come to the wedding ...

ANY gift given by a guest who didn't come to the wedding is EXTRA generous.

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Posted by MJDoc12

Soooo because they didn't give you a gift that was equal to or more than what you gave them, it means the friendship is over???

How do you know their financial situation right now? Maybe they SEEM to have $$ and they don't and they wanted to send something anyway.

I know everyone is different but I really do NOT and NEVER WILL understand the concept of 'I gave this much and they are supposed to give us something of equal or more value in order for it to be okay'.

Its like they are damned if they do and damned if they don't. I would hope you wouldn't end an entire friendship over a gift you deem too cheap.

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very well said, ITA!

my friend was married last year, and we gave her a very generous gift. for our wedding, they gave quite a bit less, but that didn't matter one bit to us. we gave what we could, and they gave what they could. a gift is just that - a gift. you don't give a gift with the expectations of receiving something of equal value in return.

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Posted by PreshusSmurf

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Posted by soon2bmrsVPT

just a heads up to fellow NWs..


THE DID NOT ATTEND THE WEDDING.... it isnt as if they stiffed them

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Right.

And based on our guests who didn't come to the wedding ...

ANY gift given by a guest who didn't come to the wedding is EXTRA generous.

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totally. most people who didn't come didn't send gifts, we got a couple of checks from some of my dad's cousins (Italian family, very tied to 'what's appropriate'), and that was it!

And frankly, we were thankful for any gift! If someone gave us a $400 gift, we certainly wouldn't be able to gift in kind, we just can't afford it. I'm already worried how we're going to travel, stay over, and give $200 gifts to 3 of our friends who are getting married in sept and oct, not to mention DH going to 2 bachelor parties....

Exactly. If you do the math, a $400 gift for 2 people may or may not even 'cover 2 plates' (tho i HATE that game of wedding algebra)... Conservatively, if they paid $150pp, the 'extra' was $100 for 2 people. If the wedding was more pp, that figure would be even lower. So even a $50 gift for 2 people who did NOT attend is 'extra' as it cost you nothing (besides 2 stamps). I understand the vent but I think its sad to lose a friendship over something so well, petty. There were loads of folks at my wedding who gave us WAY more than I would be able to reciprocate with today. I would always try to pass ourselves, but realistically, I wouldn't 'match' what many of them gave us.
Also guessing at others' financial status is a really ingracious thing to do imho and a sure way to drive yourself bonkers...