Kinda personal and TMI, but need guidance

So yesterday I was kinda bored and decided to lurk on LIF. So pretty much I got what I deserved by lurking because now I'm freaking out.

I was reading the TTC board (although we're not), and there was a post about spotting the week before your period, and how that could be a possible reason why the poster wasn't sucessful in their efforts, because that tends to be a symptom of low progesterone levels, which can cause mild infertility and increases your chances of miscarrying, because obviously, you're not able to hold the uterine lining. This happens to me I would say 4 out of 5 months in a row, and it's the fluke when it doesn't happen, not when it does.

By accident, I just found out last week that either I was never supposed to be born as I am today, I would have had a different younger sibling, or ANOTHER younger sibling. I didn't pry because I was so shocked, but of course, now I'm afraid the risk is hereditary as well.

So right now I'm just really scared. I know I come off like an ogre sometimes about babies, but it's not that I don't want one, I just have the good sense enough to know that DH and I are not emotionally ready for one right now...but now I'm slowly convincing myself that I won't be able to even have one. The last time I asked my dr. for blood testing she told me no, and said that she'd only do it for me if we've been trying for a while with no luck, they don't do it just for 'peace of mind'.

I guess if no one minds sharing, does this happen or did this happen to you as well? Is this normal? We researched it last night and it's so vague, some websites say it's normal, some it's not, and the symptoms for low levels and high levels seem to be the same and I seem to have half of the symptoms from each side! I don't like to self diagnose, but I'm slowly driving myself crazy right now.

While I dont really know much on the subject, I kind of can relate with you on the whole worrying part.

I could be infertile because of the celiac disease. I am terrified of it, but i know that there are options out there in case. DH & I may have to do invetro - and if we do, we do.
I dont worry about it right now, because we arent TTC. And with waiting 5 years to TTC, I'm giving my body more time to heal itself from the damage the celiac did to it before I was diagnosed (I was practically malnurished)

Talk to your Dr. again...maybe even tell her that you are TTC and you would like peace of mind...

Its not a crazy thing to fear...that is my biggest fear in life is that i wont be able to have kids...

if you are really concerned about it i would ask your doctor it could be something that can be fixed so if it can, get it fixed now!

they do have those over the counter fertility tests that im soo tempted to get to give my self a piece of mind, but scared out of my mind to actually get one cuz if it says something bad i dont know what i would do.

try not to stress so much, because it could also be nothing! reading stuff always makes you paranoid!

i had a pain in my stomach so i googled it and i diagnosed myself with all sorts of crazy things!

Ali, it is BS that they don't do it for 'peace of mind.' Every woman should have a check-up and complete work up before TTC. I say broach the subject again with your MD or get a new one.

As for the rest I can't comment because I don't have that issue - but it can't hurt to get checked out!

Try not to worry or freak yourself out. The body is an incredibly complex machine - I wouldn't take someone else's symptoms and possible diagnosis to be the same as yours.

I would try not to stress over it honestly. You never know what is going to happen. If you start TTC and nothing is happening after a while then you can be concerned. However, if it really bothers you now then go back to your doctor and discuss this with them. I have been having issues the past few months (with cysts and suddenly abnormal schedules) When I spoke to my doctor she told me its 'normal' and I would be ok. I told her we were going to start TTC soon and she wasn't concerned at all, so I asked to speak to another doctor in the practice. She listened to me, thought that what I was experiencing was NOT normal and sent me for bloodwork. My point, if you really feel uncomfortable then make sure you are heard and they do something about it.

I do agree however that normally they would not do any kind of testing just for peace of mind.

I guess another reason why I'm kinda freaking....is I'm convinced last month I was pregnant. I didn't say anything, because I thought I was just late. But we kinda, um, pushed it a little too far in to the month , so it was entirely possible there was an oops. And I was late...and I'm never late. I'm either on the money or early, but never late. And I had all the early symptoms too...but then I got it and was like ok, maybe I was really just really late, or maybe I was and lost it so quickly that we never would have known...you know?

Ugh. I want to cry.

Personally Alli... if you are concerned... just go to the doctor and they can run some tests for you. Then you will know and not wonder for years to come. It's good to get checked out and know where you stand... and you surely can do that without TTC.

I think in regards to what your just found out... since it's unclear, it's hard to say too much about it. But it sounds more like your mother might have been pregnant before you and had a MC... so had she not had a MC then you wouldn't have been born. That happens A LOT A LOT A LOT... i can't even tell you.
And with MC's there are SOOO many reasons why they occur and genetics could even play no role in the reasoning. I also believe that if there was a genetic defect then you would have known it by now. But if not... they can do genetic testing on both you and DH to see if you are carrier's for certain things. BUT know that being a carrier for something doesn't mean that you will have a baby with a defect... all that does is decrease or increase your chances.

DO NOT go around convincing yourself that you can't have a baby because of what you read from someone on LIF. The people on LIF are REGULAR people just like you and I and they are not always correct with their information... and not only that but every situation is different.

SOOO many different things play into fertility.

I never have spotting before I have my period. AND I had a MC... so it's definitely not a deciding factor. And furthermore... and this is the first time I'm writing this on LIW... but I had genetic testing done... Trisomy 21... Down's Syndrom. That's the reason for my mc. Now John and I both have to go for genetic testing to see if we are carriers. And remember... I don't have that sort of spotting... so it's definitely not always indicative of mc's, genetics, or fertility issues.

ALSO - there's SOOOOOOO much that can be done for fertility issues to aid you in the process. From pills that just fix possible hormone issues to increasing your feminine moisture (haha sounds funny how i put it) to actual processes.

I say talk to your doctor about this and DO NOT compare yourself to someone else.

---

Posted by coldasice217

I guess another reason why I'm kinda freaking....is I'm convinced last month I was pregnant. I didn't say anything, because I thought I was just late. But we kinda, um, pushed it a little too far in to the month , so it was entirely possible there was an oops. And I was late...and I'm never late. I'm either on the money or early, but never late. And I had all the early symptoms too...but then I got it and was like ok, maybe I was really just really late, or maybe I was and lost it so quickly that we never would have known...you know?

Ugh. I want to cry.

---

STOP STOP STOP driving yourself nuts!! Yes that is possible to happen but it's not always the case and since you will never know then do not drive yourself nuts over it.

What you are referring to is a chemical pregnancy... and it's common, though it CERTAINLY does not mean there is something wrong with you or that you are infertile. Sometimes women get pregnant and it fails to implant itself and thus the pregnancy ends. There's SOOO many things that can happen in regards to this delicate process... and to think about them all will ONLY result in driving yourself INSANE!! TRUST ME. STOP STOP STOP STOP. Try not to read into every little thing. Sometimes periods are just late. End of story.

Try not to stress about it. At the risk of oversharing, I would often get that (even when I was on the pill). I was never told that I have a low level of progesterone and I've had all sorts of blood tests because of my endometriosis.

I agree with julesbrf, if you're concerned about it, insist that your doctor run a blood test or find a new doctor. You need to be your own advocate when it comes to your health. You know your body better than anyone. If you feel that something may be wrong, insist that the doctor run all the necessary tests to rule things out.

I've had doctors tell me that the pain from the endo was all in my head and had to keep trying to find the right doctor to treat me. I actually wound up going to Georgia to have my most recent surgery.

Because of the endo (and having been misdiagnosed for so long), DH and I may have fertility problems down the road. There are days that that really gets to me, but there's nothing I can do about it. I've done all I can to make sure I'm healthy and the rest is in God's hands.

Oh and different doctors will or will not test for things.

just like some teachers were better than others in school... some doctors are more efficient than others. I had a TERRIBLE doctor when I was pregnant. I don't speak much about it but had I gone to another doctor... I would have actually had a blood test while I was pregnant and perhaps a sono after the d and c. I learned my lesson. DOCTOR SHOPPING is important.

If you raise concern for something to your doctor.... and they refuse... go to another doctor. And keep doing so until you find one who listens and tests you.

Also, this time might be different than last time... because you have a reason. You can specifically ask them about spotting before your period. Ask them what that could mean. Then after they tell you their answer... tell them what you 'researched' and heard. Then ask about tests and take it from there. It's a bit of a different approach than to just say... I want testing done just because. Usually if there is sound reasoning behind it they are more likely to run tests on you. Also if you have any other things to add in there... go for it... the more the better. maybe even find out about what happened with your mother if you can. Just know that just because something happened with your mother, that DOES NOT mean it will happen to you. NO ONE in my immediate family had a MC, and I did. You just never know. you are asked about medical family history because It's all a matter of finding POTENTIAL reasons for things or things to test for not necessarily meaning it will happen to you.

---

Posted by KerriJohnS

Oh and different doctors will or will not test for things.

just like some teachers were better than others in school... some doctors are more efficient than others. I had a TERRIBLE doctor when I was pregnant. I don't speak much about it but had I gone to another doctor... I would have actually had a blood test while I was pregnant and perhaps a sono after the d and c. I learned my lesson. DOCTOR SHOPPING is important.

If you raise concern for something to your doctor.... and they refuse... go to another doctor. And keep doing so until you find one who listens and tests you.

Also, this time might be different than last time... because you have a reason. You can specifically ask them about spotting before your period. Ask them what that could mean. Then after they tell you their answer... tell them what you 'researched' and heard. Then ask about tests and take it from there. It's a bit of a different approach than to just say... I want testing done just because. Usually if there is sound reasoning behind it they are more likely to run tests on you. Also if you have any other things to add in there... go for it... the more the better. maybe even find out about what happened with your mother if you can. Just know that just because something happened with your mother, that DOES NOT mean it will happen to you. NO ONE in my immediate family had a MC, and I did. You just never know. you are asked about medical family history because It's all a matter of finding POTENTIAL reasons for things or things to test for not necessarily meaning it will happen to you.

---

I just want to add to what Kerri said as well - whether you are officially TTC tomorrow, next year or in five years - they don't need to know when you are going to be 'officially' trying. But Ali, if you are not on BCP and are not using any other contraception other than trying to not have sex around when you ovulate, there is always a possibility to get pregnant and as far as I am concerned you should be checked out now anyway. Does that make sense?

i know its easier said than done but u ave to relax..u r going to drive urself nuts!!

if u want go to the doc and talk to her and get checked out...its def normal to have those fears...ive def dealt with them cause as long as i can remember ive had whacked out cycles..skipping,spottng,heavy..horrible cramps nausea etc etc

i think for u to have the peace of mind shoud go to the doc..just so u can sleep at night

aww Ali, dont drive yourself crazy!! It is a scary thing to think about but I have to say that if you really are concerned I would go to a Dr that will run some tests. Lie and tell them your trying to have a baby if you have too. And your not alone, I always worry that I wont be able to get pregnant! And I do spot right before my period but a lot of woman do and have had no problems having babies :) sometimes your body just does weird things and you just cant explain it! Dont worry!

My doctor has the exact opposite belief system of yours. He has insisted that before DH and I TTC he wants me to go for genetic testing due to my ethnic background and some genetic diseases in my family. If you want testing done before you TTC you should speak to your Dr. or consider changing doctors.
As for the topic of spontaneous abortion it is VERY common. The estimated figure is actually 25-50% The reason for the huge spread is many times women do not even know they are pregnant.
Thyroid disease is also linked with miscarriage so you may want to see you endocrinologist to make sure you levels of thyroid hormone are in check-Too much or too little can lead to difficulty conceiving and miscarriage.

I understand your eason for freaking ut. But dont get to scared before you start TTC i would get a full work-up by all of your doctors. I did that just in case. Including a mammogram (because im 35). Then see what is said & go from there.

I know plenty of women who spot & have successfully had two to three children without problems. I even know peple who spotted their entire pregnancy & had very healthy children. So dont worry just yet.

Ali Please stop freaking yourself out. There is no reason to worry. I am 27 weeks pregnant, and use to have exactly what you were describing. I had some light spotting, then it would turn into AF, and then I would have AF for a day or so it would go away, then come back. I think everyone kinda of fears when they want to get pregnant they wont be able to. I think it comes from trying to prevent pregnancy for so many years, or from just seeing other ppl have a hard time getting pregnant. I also was concerned it would take us a long time b/c my aunt tried for 5 years to get pregnant with no luck, then they adopted and boom two years later she was pregnant.
The most important thing is that your ovulating. The fact that your not taking any birth control (which i got from previous posts), means your body is most likely regulating itself just fine. Your young so you have that on your side too. If you are worried, which it seems that you are, and you want peace of mind why not track your ovulation for a few months? There is a great book called Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It will teach you how to track your ovulation/cycles, it is not just for people trying to get pregnant, it can teach you how to prevent getting pregnant by tracking your cycles. Defin check it out there is so much information in there. Or you can buy an OPK (ovulation predictor kit), and use it for one cycle to determine ovulation. As long as your ovulating you most likely will not have a problem. Don't let the TTC boards scare you away. I am sorry your freaking out. If you have any questions feel free to FM me. I am hear to help.


eta: I agree you should find a new OB/GYN someone who will do a workup before you start TTC. It is very common to have done. Also don't buy into those fertility tests that are over the counter the OPK's are different that is what I recommend.

If you're dr. wont do any testing until you've been actively trying then maybe you need to see another dr bc if peace of mind is what you need then you should be able to get it.

I really wouldn't go crazy worrying about it so much. I used to wonder all the time if I could get pregnant, I would worry and wonder if it would or never happen. And then a couple of months ago, without really even trying I got pregnant but then miscarried. My cycles have always been irregular and I was able to get pregnant. Every woman is different, every woman experiences wierd things throughout her cycle for different reasons, don't think something is wrong bc you see spotting, that can be totally normal.

And it sounds like your mom did in fact have a m/c at some point in her life, but what's crazy is that most women do, at some point, whether they know about it or not. I never knew this until I miscarried, I thought I was so alone and then practically every woman in my family and DHs family has experienced a miscarriage at some point in their life. Don't worry hun!

Try to stay calm and possibly look for a dr. that will do what you want. Good Luck.

Sweetheart, please do not get yourself worked up over it okay?

I was told I wouldnt be able to concieve naturally. I was told because of the cysts, causing damage to my uterus, i had intense scar tissue which would cause my uterus to reject any child...

THree weeks before I concieved, we had just filled out adoption papers (process is 3-5 years) and I was ON THE PILL because of trying to be regular..

And low and behold- here I am 6 monhs pregnant....

What i am trying to say is, things have a way of working out. My om was told she couldnt concieve after three miscarriages and fice years of trying. She has two kids.... My grandother, the smae...

I think it would be better if you found someone else (Another gyno) who is willing to test you to put your mind at ease. But then again even with your answer.... it could be wrong :(

Big hugs... if uneed to talk at all about it, I've been through it... xoxo

aw stop everyone is diff. and you dont know until you try.
we were totally not trying but got preg. I had low progesterone levels until week 23. they put me on supplements.
i really wouldnt worry too much.

I feel bad for just disappearing after making a post like this, but our work network got a crazy virus and basically I was shut down the rest of the day.

Thank you for all the advice...I will probably go see my dr, and kinda fudge our time frame to see if I can get some tests done or not. If not, then I'll just have to go look for another dr I suppose. Just it s/ucks, because my dr actually left the practice to go pursue reproductive endocrinology, then came back, I guess it fell through, but she does have a background in it now, which I think is important for me to have in a dr with my tendencies, so it would really just figure that SHE'S the one who won't do the test!!!