Letting off some steam

What is really making me angry is that I feel like my In-laws expect me to be the one who is taking care of the house. My birthday was last week, and my MIL, FIL, SIL and BIL all chipped in to buy me: bed in a bag set for the new sleeper sofa. I always thought that you buy something personal for someone's birthday, not something for the house. I appricate it, we need it, but its not what I was hoping to get for my birthday. I mean, when I am not sure what to get someone, a gift certificate to a store always works well. Its just been one thing after the other. They have been comments to me like 'long time no see' and 'we've forgotten what you look like'. I feel like they assume its my responability to nudge DH to get together. I work full time, and am going to school to get my masters. On top of that, there are a million Jewish holidays this time of year that need to be planned and prepped for. Am I wrong to feel upset about this?

Re: Letting off some steam

No, not at all. I actually get it from my parents. I too, am working full-time and going to school in the evening for my masters. I am the one that calls my mother and leaves a message...only to get a call back a week later from her asking, 'You never call me, when are you going to come over?' It is maddening.

Re: Letting off some steam

Bah.

I don't think they know your DH that well, LOL! Even I know that Adam is tough to get a hold of, let alone visit with! (I think it comes with the package of guys named Adam who lived in Nanticoke 109, really). My ILs have Always been the same way. DH doesn't call them very often, that's just the way he is. And of course, I feel like I'm taking the blame for 'Taking their son away.' Honestly, I think you should move to Delaware. It's a pretty good decision (or at least we think it is!).

I'm sorry about the lame birthday present, but I'm even SORRIER that I missed your birthday!!!!!

Now we REALLY have to get together and celebrate!

Re: Letting off some steam

I totally know what you mean. My inlaws are kinds modern traditional - she does all the cooking and serving, he does the dishes (sometimes) and I guess they share cleaning (although it's definetely her domain, but he's neater than she is). But when we're over there, I'm ALWAYS the one she asks to help in the kitchen and to clear. I ask him, but she orders him out of the kitchen after awhile! And his dad shows ME the way that he washes dishes and makes eggs. DH is the one who both does the dishes and makes the majority of eggs in our house! Also, I know how to do both those things!

Also, they tell me to get DH to do things that they want him to do - like 'Make sure he gets enough sleep' and 'He has to eat more!' I'm like - he works out of the house, the fridge is ALWAYS there, and I fall asleep before he does because I have a full time job! And when he says no to going over there, his dad calls me BEFORE DH to ask me the same thing, in case I say yes! I say - 'You have to ask your son.'

It can be frustrating.