I normally tend to look through DH text messages don't know why...I think it's more related to try to catch any baby mama drama which he often hinds from me. I never find any baby momma drama on it but still read all his messages, from his guy friends, or just about anything that is there...I do it a lot, well after him seeing me OD he locked his phone. Do you girls think that I am wrong for that, or that he is wrong for locking his phone bc I OD?
Do you think he should unlock his phone and just let me look at it, after all why would he care if he is not hiding anything
or
is he right for locking his phone after getting annoyed at how much I do it (he feels I 'don't trust' him) bc I do it too often.
Advice?
TommysWife08
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Re: Looking thru DH's text messages
Posted by Mrs. Bernabe
Posted by TommysWife08
hmm... yeah thats a tough one... b/c i can see where your DH would think 'oh you dont trust me blah blah blah'
what exactly is 'baby mama drama??' did something happen in the past to make you lose your trust in DH?!
No, not any jealousy with her or mistrust with him; I know he knows he made a big mistake getting with that women, but she sometimes leaves him VM all nasty talking crap and he won't tell me, so I figure she might send him a text with crap too.
I also read for the hell of it; it also shows what kind of friend he has..based on the messages.
wait - im confused... does he have a kid with another women?
Mrs. Bernabe
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Re: Looking thru DH's text messages
Posted by TommysWife08
Posted by Mrs. Bernabe
Posted by TommysWife08
hmm... yeah thats a tough one... b/c i can see where your DH would think 'oh you dont trust me blah blah blah'
what exactly is 'baby mama drama??' did something happen in the past to make you lose your trust in DH?!
No, not any jealousy with her or mistrust with him; I know he knows he made a big mistake getting with that women, but she sometimes leaves him VM all nasty talking crap and he won't tell me, so I figure she might send him a text with crap too.
I also read for the hell of it; it also shows what kind of friend he has..based on the messages.
wait - im confused... does he have a kid with another women?
yes..from being teens.
Future Mulligan
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Re: Looking thru DH's text messages
Posted by lizzie217
I think it is wrong for him to lock his phone, yes.
I dont look through DH's phone a lot. If he gets a text and it is next to me and he is say upstairs I will look at it and say 'Your cousin Danny will be in town next weekend and wants to hangout'. My DH does not mind. If my text rang he'd check mine.
Also we have eachothers email passwords, we'll pop on for example he booked our vegas trip and I wanted to know the flight times.
Also he pops on my facebook if one of his friends tells him to check out a pic or his sister tell him (he doesnt have FB)
We are totally open..nothing to hide. Locking phones to me is hiding something, he may not be but to me I would percieve it that way.
i partly agree - if i wanted to look at DH's phone or log on to his email i can - same goes for him with me - passwords and things like that are shared between us BUT i never check his phone or email and he doesn't check mine (that i know of at least!) i would be pretty upset if i found out he was logging on and spying on my emails everyday KWIM? so i think that is the difference, the OP said she checks his phone frequently and i think he is just trying to prove a point by locking it....i would be annoyed if DH was always 'spying' on me
Mrs. Bernabe
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Re: Looking thru DH's text messages
Posted by Future Mulligan
never- we never look through eachothers things - i dont see a reason for it....if DH started looking through my phone i would DEF lock it - and not to hide anything but to prove a point and be spiteful which is probably the reason your DH has locked his
I know he does it for this reason but still...it bothers me that he locks it.. Also what if in an emergency I need to use his phone
I told him I would start a post to see what they ladies say about this topic.
Future Mulligan
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Re: Looking thru DH's text messages
Posted by Kimbalina
I do not check DH's phone.. It's not mine.. so unless he gave me real reasons to expect the worst I would never.
i agree - i think the only time i would resort to that was if i was suspicious of something and needed hard evidence to confirm my suspicions.....which hopefully never happens to either of us!
MnM182008
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Re: Looking thru DH's text messages
I don't look through DH phone either, and he texts like crazy. If I suspected something I would definitely look, but since I don't I have no reason to search. If my DH locked his phone I would be suspicious as to what he was hiding. But maybe he did it just to send you a message that he doesn't like you looking through his phone.
Toucan311
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Re: Looking thru DH's text messages
I'm honestly shocked that so many of you think nothing of looking through your DH's email/phone! Not that I hide anything in my email or text, but if DH was reading through my emails I'd feel very violated. So what if I'm just talking to Dana about dieting, why the hell should someone else have the right to EVERY little detail of my life?! Total invasion of privacy. I think its 100% wrong.
MikeandJess
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Re: Looking thru DH's text messages
Posted by dajc23
Wow maybe i'm the minority here but i would NEVER pick up DHs phone to read his messages. He doesn't even touch mine so I know he wouldnt look through mine.
I'm not hiding ANYTHING but I still don't like when anyone touches my things. If you want to know something just ask and I'll tell
Same here. I don't even know how to work his phone
TommysWife08
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Re: Looking thru DH's text messages
Posted by Mrs. Bernabe
yes..from being teens.
ahhh i see....
i think that if i were in your shoes... if i was NOT on good terms with the mom of his child, then i too would probably look through his phone.. and NOT b/c i dont trust him, just to see what kind of BS his baby moma is up to, KWIM?
BUT if i were on good terms with this chick, i wouldnt bother going through his phone unless he gave me a reason to
lizzie217
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Re: Looking thru DH's text messages
Posted by Mimacat
I'm honestly shocked that so many of you think nothing of looking through your DH's email/phone! Not that I hide anything in my email or text, but if DH was reading through my emails I'd feel very violated. So what if I'm just talking to Dana about dieting, why the hell should someone else have the right to EVERY little detail of my life?! Total invasion of privacy. I think its 100% wrong.
I dont read through DH's texts but if his phone beeps he'll say 'Lizzie check that'. I would not go through old texts and read them..it would not even occur to me it's probaly all sports scores and garbage
dajc23
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Re: Looking thru DH's text messages
Posted by MikeandJess
Posted by dajc23
Wow maybe i'm the minority here but i would NEVER pick up DHs phone to read his messages. He doesn't even touch mine so I know he wouldnt look through mine.
I'm not hiding ANYTHING but I still don't like when anyone touches my things. If you want to know something just ask and I'll tell
Same here. I don't even know how to work his phone
We have the same phone so if I ever needed his im ok. But seriously, I could never pick it up and start scrolling through. And if he ever went through mine he'd be pretty disappointed. My texts and phone call list goes just like this 'Jimmy, jimmy, jimmy, mom, jimmy, jimmy, mom, heather, jimmy, jimmy etc.'
VERY boring and not worth the trouble at all lol
teenigrrl
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Re: Looking thru DH's text messages
i would never ever look through DH's phone, and he would never look through mine. there's no reason to. we're not hiding anything from each other and we completely trust each other. if he asked to look through my texts, i'd hand him the phone and say enjoy. but if he did it without my knowing, then i'd be pi$$ed, and would certainly lock my phone just to pi$$ him off.
RadiantBride
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Re: Looking thru DH's text messages
Posted by Mimacat
I'm honestly shocked that so many of you think nothing of looking through your DH's email/phone! Not that I hide anything in my email or text, but if DH was reading through my emails I'd feel very violated. So what if I'm just talking to Dana about dieting, why the hell should someone else have the right to EVERY little detail of my life?! Total invasion of privacy. I think its 100% wrong.
Everyone is different and what works for some may not necessarily work for others.
Future Mulligan
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Member since
Re: Looking thru DH's text messages
Posted by Mimacat
I'm honestly shocked that so many of you think nothing of looking through your DH's email/phone! Not that I hide anything in my email or text, but if DH was reading through my emails I'd feel very violated. So what if I'm just talking to Dana about dieting, why the hell should someone else have the right to EVERY little detail of my life?! Total invasion of privacy. I think its 100% wrong.
yeah its a big no no for me - i used to check my boyfriends phone in high school i feel like DH and i are on a totally different level than the mindset i had back then - so i do not check anything of his although if i wanted to i could log on to his email right now - but i just don't....and i would never want him to look through my stuff either....
KK Holiday
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Re: Looking thru DH's text messages
i never go through DH's messages or contacts or anything on hs phone.
i have never had the urge to go through any of his items. not even out of curiosity.
jaep129
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Re: Looking thru DH's text messages
I never look at DH phone and trust he does not look at mine. I mean I actually woud not care b/c I am not doing anything wrong. Its about space and its not yours. I also dont answer his. I know people that do that. I trust Nick (DH).
Mrs. Bernabe
Posted:
Member since
Re: Looking thru DH's text messages
Posted by RadiantBride
Posted by Mimacat
I'm honestly shocked that so many of you think nothing of looking through your DH's email/phone! Not that I hide anything in my email or text, but if DH was reading through my emails I'd feel very violated. So what if I'm just talking to Dana about dieting, why the hell should someone else have the right to EVERY little detail of my life?! Total invasion of privacy. I think its 100% wrong.
Everyone is different and what works for some may not necessarily work for others.
true
I don't do this year long, but when I pick up a habit I tend to do it for a while...if he were to unlock it now I probably wouldn't check because he kinda killed my habit, but then I would pick it up again down the line...put it this way I don't think I will change my ways...so what is he going to have it locked all the time...what if I do need to get to his phone for an emergency than what...bc he is pissy I wont be able to...lol
KK Holiday
Posted:
Member since
Re: Looking thru DH's text messages
Posted by Future Mulligan
Posted by Mimacat
I'm honestly shocked that so many of you think nothing of looking through your DH's email/phone! Not that I hide anything in my email or text, but if DH was reading through my emails I'd feel very violated. So what if I'm just talking to Dana about dieting, why the hell should someone else have the right to EVERY little detail of my life?! Total invasion of privacy. I think its 100% wrong.
yeah its a big no no for me - i used to check my boyfriends phone in high school i feel like DH and i are on a totally different level than the mindset i had back then - so i do not check anything of his although if i wanted to i could log on to his email right now - but i just don't....and i would never want him to look through my stuff either....
exactly! its not that i care if DH sees anything of mine--nor would he care if i read every email of his. but we just dont do it because we dont have that NEED to know everything.
lizzie217
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Re: Looking thru DH's text messages
I think there is a difference bw 'snoping' and having the type of understanding where you pick up one and others phone or check a text when it rings in.
DH would not like if I was snoping bc then it's like 'what you dont trust me?' but if a text rings in and he is say shaving he will call out to me to get it.
Our phones are nnot 'off limits' nor is my facebook account (bc he hates FB and doesnt want one but sometimes like to check things out)
We are very open like that. It works for us. Every couple is different.
Ayne11
Posted:
Member since
Re: Looking thru DH's text messages
Posted by lizzie217
Posted by Mimacat
I'm honestly shocked that so many of you think nothing of looking through your DH's email/phone! Not that I hide anything in my email or text, but if DH was reading through my emails I'd feel very violated. So what if I'm just talking to Dana about dieting, why the hell should someone else have the right to EVERY little detail of my life?! Total invasion of privacy. I think its 100% wrong.
I dont read through DH's texts but if his phone beeps he'll say 'Lizzie check that'. I would not go through old texts and read them..it would not even occur to me it's probaly all sports scores and garbage
yeah this is what DH & I do - if we're in the other room we'll ask 'who is it & what do they want' b/c we're too lazy/impatient to wait LOL
But I don't randomly scroll through his phone and read messages and emails and he doesn't do that to me - we have no reason to hide anything
