Looking thru DH's text messages

Original post by Mrs. Bernabe

Mar 10, 2009 09:54 AM

I normally tend to look through DH text messages don't know why...I think it's more related to try to catch any baby mama drama which he often hinds from me. I never find any baby momma drama on it but still read all his messages, from his guy friends, or just about anything that is there...I do it a lot, well after him seeing me OD he locked his phone. Do you girls think that I am wrong for that, or that he is wrong for locking his phone bc I OD?

Do you think he should unlock his phone and just let me look at it, after all why would he care if he is not hiding anything

or

is he right for locking his phone after getting annoyed at how much I do it (he feels I 'don't trust' him) bc I do it too often.

Advice?

skinny237 Posted: Mar 12, 2009 09:56 AM

Re: Looking thru DH's text messages

CD516 Posted: Mar 12, 2009 10:06 AM

Re: Looking thru DH's text messages

Posted by RadiantBride

Posted by Kimbalina

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curiousgeorge Posted: Mar 13, 2009 09:37 PM

Re: Looking thru DH's text messages

Posted by TommysWife08

Posted by lizzie217

Posted by Autumn08

This is a joke post right? I think it's a complete lack of respect to go through his phone. He made it perfectly clear that he doesn't want you going through it, if you had respect for him you wouldn't know it's locked.

This is really a rude response IMO. Extremely judgmental. The lady posted a question, if you don't agree it is one thing but please try not to be so forceful.

you basically said what i was trying to say in a nice way lol

Personally I believe that relationships should be open. I take my DHs phone all the time and he takes mine. We share. One day I want to use his because he has internet. Its an open thing and there is nothing to hide,. IMO I find it disprespectful for anyone in a relationship to tell the other one what to do, especially if its going to make the other feel uncomfortable.

If DH said to me ' Dont go through my phone' I would have to be human to WONDER....WHY???does he NOT want me to go through his phone. Its human nature. So then I would go ahead and go through his phone....because I want to know what the big deal is!

Butterfly123 Posted: Mar 14, 2009 09:32 AM

Re: Looking thru DH's text messages

Posted by MeaganAndJoeC

the only reason a phone should be locked if is you are doing something wrong !

I dont agree with this. Like I said in a previous post, DH was going through my phone and he saw a conversation from a friend of mine who cheated on her boyfriend and was asking my advice. He took it out on me and started a fight with me. DH had a regular habit of sitting with my phone and going through every text message. Now THAT is disrespectful. I locked my phone and that taught him a lesson. He told me he I could trust him from now and to to unlock my phone. So I did, now he doesnt even look at my messages even if the phone goes off right next to him. I never had anything to hide from him.

sassygirl9 Posted: Mar 14, 2009 03:05 PM

Re: Looking thru DH's text messages

Well here's my two cents.
I think that although DH and I are married we don't go through each other's phones, emails, etc.
Everyone is different, but I never see a reason to look through his stuff.

I don't know if going through DH's phone or email is really a big deal. But, if he got mad that I did it all the time, I wouldn't blame him for locking his phone.

marriedinmontauk Posted: Mar 14, 2009 05:59 PM

Re: Looking thru DH's text messages

I don't think you should do it.
Allow each other to be an individual and have some space.

Mrs. V 2008 Posted: Mar 15, 2009 10:33 AM

Re: Looking thru DH's text messages

This is a tough situation..because it can go either way. But ultimately I find it to be a little intrusive and kind of an invasion of privacy. He's probably just annoyed that he may think you don't trust him...I don't think it has anything to do with him hiding something. I would just let it be

Autumn08 Posted: Mar 15, 2009 01:59 PM

Re: Looking thru DH's text messages

No, I didn't mean to come across as rude or judgemental. I don't recall judging the relationship... only this situation. I reacted strongly because I don't really understand why she felt she needed to go through the texts since she said she trusted him. To me, he wanted some breathing room and wasn't given any, and that I would find disrespectful if I were in her DHs position. Suspicion of cheating is different IMO than the situation presented. I'm not holier than thou either. I actually feel sorry for the DH in the original post. Not only is he involved in the baby mama drama... but there is no escape from it.

So here it is... stop pushing the issue and I think he will be more likely to open up and talk about it. Good Luck.