Losing friends during the wedding?

---

Exactly, that's what makes me so angry about it. I can understand why people can't come to things. I mean there have been times I couldn't. I guess that's what happens when I'm the last in that group to get married. Whatever. I have real friends that were there for me all the way and those are real friends. Now I can't wait for their turns!

---

That is just wrong...it is funny though girls that had big extravgant bacholorette parties...then a year or two or whenever later they don't want to take the lirr in for a friend's bach party

---

Posted by lizzie217

---

Posted by Future Mulligan

i think that sometimes being the bride brings out the worst in people - i, for one, am glad that i was able to see that first hand so that i didn't become the same way.......i notice that a lot of people on here lose friends during their planning - i just made sure that my wedding wasnt my priority when it came to my friends - i knew nobody wanted to hear about my wedding 24/7 for the year and half i was planning and i knew not to boss anyone around....i just made sure not to get carried away - when i wanted to be obsessed with my wedding i came on here instead

---

This is how I was also. I had a cple friends who were recently married or engaged and I spoke to them @ the wedding...but my single friends I tried to only really talk about it when they asked (all my girls asked me hpw things were) but I liked coming on here bc I really didn't think my friends wanted to know that I wasnt sure which color paper to use for my invites

---

YES YES YES!! I did not want to torture anyone with every detail - and also I liked that in the end alnost everything ended up being a surprise for everyone - they didn't walk in to our wedding knowing exactly what to expect.....a friend of mine went to a wedding and she heard a lot about it beforehand and she said when they walked in everything was as expected and it was kind of like ehhhh b/c she had heard about every single thing already....so it was fun when people came up to us after to say stuff like oh wow i didn't know you were going to have that - or oh wow we didn't expect to see that.....so that felt good - its nice when you dont spill every single detail....

thats why i loved this site i could type my little heart out without annoying anyone IRL hahaha

---

Posted by Mici n KC

---

Posted by Bride908

I feel like when you are getting married, its life changing. Your getting older, your seeing your life in a different perspective. You start to have different interests.

It has nothing to do with 'wedding planning'. Ive realized that with some relationships, Im just in a different place. Some of my friends arent there yet or are to immature and havent grown up.

This is where relationships get strained. Or people are to selfish to realize it.

---

I agree with this. There are plenty of people that might be jealous that they are not moving on to the next step in their life for whatever reason. It happens. Like you said, they are being selfish and don't realize what they are doing.

---

Its still hard to let things go. I was one of the first to get married out of myself and DH's friends. Most of our friends arent even engaged.
Most of friendships are still the same but there are that few that we've pretty much let go of.

---

Posted by Mici n KC

---

Posted by Bride908

I feel like when you are getting married, its life changing. Your getting older, your seeing your life in a different perspective. You start to have different interests.

It has nothing to do with 'wedding planning'. Ive realized that with some relationships, Im just in a different place. Some of my friends arent there yet or are to immature and havent grown up.

This is where relationships get strained. Or people are to selfish to realize it.

---

I agree with this. There are plenty of people that might be jealous that they are not moving on to the next step in their life for whatever reason. It happens. Like you said, they are being selfish and don't realize what they are doing.

---

That is true too....I know for us its a little difficult b/c we are the first to get married - while most of our friends are in relationships they arent living together yet and they are not engaged (although my one friend at work just got engaged and i am so excited!) so its just different - we are ready to get a house and we talk about wanting to start a family soon - and i know our friends aren't there yet so it changes the dynamic a little bit - but luckily we have great friends and there isnt any resentment over it.....

ETS: i know that a very good friend of DH's (like a best friend) was questioning him when he wanted to propose to me - DH was excited so he had mentioned it to his friend and his friend was like why would you want to do that for? why are you rushing? (this is the same friend who thought we were crazy for moving in together )......and this friend would occasionally give him a hard time for never wanting to go out to bars and clubs and stuff like that - but now his friend is serious with his g/f and is getting ready to take the next step - he is very in love - and DH says 'told you so' to him and now his friend understands b/c he is in that place now - so i know its come up and his friend is more understanding b/c he isnt a bachelor anymore either hahaha.....

QUOTE]



ETS: i know that a very good friend of DH's (like a best friend) was questioning him when he wanted to propose to me - DH was excited so he had mentioned it to his friend and his friend was like why would you want to do that for? why are you rushing? (this is the same friend who thought we were crazy for moving in together )......and this friend would occasionally give him a hard time for never wanting to go out to bars and clubs and stuff like that - but now his friend is serious with his g/f and is getting ready to take the next step - he is very in love - and DH says 'told you so' to him and now his friend understands b/c he is in that place now - so i know its come up and his friend is more understanding b/c he isnt a bachelor anymore either hahaha.....

---

Yeah that is always the case! They have so much to say until THEY find the one they want to be with DH was the first of his friends also and they thought he was insane...oh well they will see when their time comes

---

Posted by Future Mulligan

---

Posted by Mici n KC

---

Posted by Bride908

I feel like when you are getting married, its life changing. Your getting older, your seeing your life in a different perspective. You start to have different interests.

It has nothing to do with 'wedding planning'. Ive realized that with some relationships, Im just in a different place. Some of my friends arent there yet or are to immature and havent grown up.

This is where relationships get strained. Or people are to selfish to realize it.

---

I agree with this. There are plenty of people that might be jealous that they are not moving on to the next step in their life for whatever reason. It happens. Like you said, they are being selfish and don't realize what they are doing.

---

ETS: i know that a very good friend of DH's (like a best friend) was questioning him when he wanted to propose to me - DH was excited so he had mentioned it to his friend and his friend was like why would you want to do that for? why are you rushing? (this is the same friend who thought we were crazy for moving in together )......and this friend would occasionally give him a hard time for never wanting to go out to bars and clubs and stuff like that - but now his friend is serious with his g/f and is getting ready to take the next step - he is very in love - and DH says 'told you so' to him and now his friend understands b/c he is in that place now - so i know its come up and his friend is more understanding b/c he isnt a bachelor anymore either hahaha.....

---

This is why I say that people dont even realize how selfish they are being. To say things like that to friends b/c they want someone to go to the bar with on Saturday night rather than be a real friend and be happy for you boggles my mind.

I was never like that. Its usually b/c they are immature. But in my case after dealing with it for to long, it just gets old

yup!

one of my 'friends' from HS RSVPd yes, came to the ceremony and then handed a card to my other friends saying 'tell michelle i cant come to the reception' and left

i still havent heard from her

it was nice that she did give me a present... but as my FRIEND, i think a phone call afterwards would have been nice to explain to ME why she wasnt there

Yes Apparently I also lost a friend. We had been close since 2nd grade, so basically 16 years. Once we graduated high school, we kind of got distant, but only because we were going to separate colleges and working all the time. We still cared about each other and hung out when we could. She got married 5 months before me and i was her MOH. Things seemed great between us then. However, once my wedding came, she began acting like a crazy person. She was my BM and came to my rehearsal with some attitude. And then left the RD way early, missing my 'thank you' speech to the bridal party and my family and told me to EMAIL her the speech instead (jerk). Then at the wedding itself, she was just distant - like rolling her eyes when we needed her for pictures and just kind of sulking on her own. I posted my concerns on all of this a couple months ago, looking for advice on what to do about this.

I wrote her a really gentle letter, just asking if something was bothering her that week of my wedding. I didn't know why she seemed upset (if it was MY fault???). She ignored the letter, so I waited another 2 weeks and then wrote another one. I asked basically why she didn't respond. I pretty much told her that this is my final attempt to fix things between us. This one also went unanswered so I've cut her outta my life. i honestly don't know WHAT her problem is.

What a shame...

Sorry these things happened to you awesome NWs...also relieved I'm not the only one... I had a friend who came to my wedding with her husband and she didn't bring a card or a gift. I let it go bec she is from OOT and traveled a while-w/2 little kids- to get here by car (Va) but she never returned my calls or emails afterwards. She was having a lot of problems with her marriage (husband cheating and actually took the woman away on a vacay...etc)right before my wedding but she has spoken to our other mutual friends since so I don't know what to think. You can only do so much to save a friendship...and I'm hurt too because forget the gift...she never even bothered to send me a measly card

DH lost 2 and I lost one!

2 of his were supposed to be GM. One 'forgot' about dinner plans HE made w/ us then 'forgot' to come to our e-party. DH called him and told him to lose his #.

Another friend of his (also BIL's best friend- not any more) didnt RSVP to the wedding or call in his tux measurements. He called BIL the week before to say he got a new job and couldnt make it. He never called DH. Then a few months ago he tried to IM DH and DH ignored him.

My friend.. nice girl, but always flakey and had a lot going on in her life. In Oct, she said she was going to come look at BM dresses w/ me and never called, but I never called her either so maybe it was my fault. But then I called her several times and left messages and no call back. So she sends me a xmas card w/ a note saying she has a lot going on and to call her so she can tell me the story on the phone.

So I feel bad, call her and leave a message asking if all is ok (not mentioning the wedding) and no call back. I called once more in feb and left a message saying if she didnt want to be in the BP to just say so and I really wouldnt be pisssed at all. (I had to do tables, programs, dreses) No call back!! She didnt get an invite!!