Maybe this topic is for the parenting board but...

What I think is awful is parents who never make their children see what they did was wrong such as those girls in Chicago who did all that horrible stuff during that powerpuff football game. So many parents said that their daughters didn't do something really bad and that they deserved to go to the Prom and that the school had NO right to suspend them. If these kids never have to take any responsilbity for their actions, they never learn anything.

This is actually a topic that comes up all the time with my mom, Dh and even at work. It's surprising how differently people feel about it.

I think it depends on the child. My brother and I are very different people. And when my mom and I talk about things in the past, and some of the discrepancies in how they 'handled' my brother compared to me, even going back to when we were young, she believes he needed more, whether it was discipline, rules or attention. And I agree with her.

A guy I used to work with raised his 3 daughters by himself, and each was so different. He had different 'rules' for each daughter, based on their maturity. His youngest was his hardest. He wouldn't even let her get her license when she was old enough, because he knew she wasn't responsible enough.

There's another guy at work that I always butt heads with on this topic. He thinks that a child shouldn't be given things in general, that they should work for them, like a 1st car and college.

I understand wanting to teach a child to value money, which starts way before they are old enough to drive. But what I don't understand is watching your child stuggle with bills and school loans if you as a parent can afford to help them?? My MOH could barely pay her rent because of her student loans, while her parents bought a boat, a Harley and a vacation home!!

Sorry to babble, but as you can see I have thought about this a lot

Erica the grocery bills were sometimes pretty steep, but well worth it

Michele your story is what I meant about listening to your kids. Unfortunately, I did not do this with my daughter because I was too caught up in my own life. I was trying to be supermom, working way too much to further a career that I eventually left anyway, and save a failing marriage. My daughter and her problems got lost in the shuffle. It was a lesson learned the hard way. I did things differently with my son.

We're all human and try to do the very best we can.

Wendy- the fact that you can admit your short comings and that you are trying to improve and grow is what makes you a good mother! Those parents that think they are perfect and wonderful and did everything just right are the ones that are just sad and have no clue.

It is also NEVER to late to listen to your daughter and work towards a closer relationship. don't give up just because you made some mistakes in the past. The present and future are open to a better relationship.

Thanks Michele. My daughter and I are fine now, but it was a long wrong to get there. It has only been during the last year or two that she has finally been able to get her life together and make better choices..I could tell you stories about my daugher's choice of boyfriends that could make your hair curl!!!!!