Needed to Vent... (added apology) UPDATE ON PAGE 2

... and it appears that everyone who usually vents to me is too busy for me. I cant go to my mom b/c she has enough to deal with but besides that, she ALWAYS sides with DH.

One major issue in our relationship has always been sex or the lack there of. Not your usual argument either, because I am the one who wants more (I really had to be a womanizing man in a past life... lmao).

The first reason/excuse for the lack of it was that DH *claimed* his past relationships never wanted it so they'd turn him down all the time. So he got used to going with less. Since 'no' is not really I word I ever use when it comes to sex, that felt like a moot issue.

The next reason/excuse by DH was: sex isnt a big priority to him so he doesn't think about it often. My rebuttal to that is always the same: I have moved things that weren't priorities to me up in rank b/c they are impt. to him, shouldnt the same be done in reciprocal?

The last response is always the one that makes me crawl up into a ball and cry: 'I'll try'. I'm blown away that a person would have to TRY to want to have sex with me.

I'm not saying that I'm a supermodel, because I'm far from it. I'm blown away b/c I've NEVER had this issue before. Sex is honestly just something I'm good at. lmaoo. I'm really not trying to be conceited. When DH and I started to have this issue VERY early on in the relationship (2-3 months into dating) I asked past lovers and b/fs if it's something I'm doing. That was the one thing they all agreed on that I was very 'gifted' in this area. One (who cheated on me repeatedly) even said that we would have broken up a lot earlier had the sex not been as good. Mine you, we broke up b/c he had a whole other relationship on the side.

When DH and I would talk and I brought that up, all of a sudden that was a NEW reason why he was so not into sex. He 'was intimated'.

We've been together now 5 years and I'm officially at my wits ends. I'm so tired of having to (a) guilt him into sex (b) be the one to actually start/pursue him (c) feeling so unwanted.

Sex is a big part of a healthy relationship in my eyes and so it hurts me to have someone who couldn't care less about it, but at the same time doesn't seem to care that it DOES hurt me and make me feel so blah.

ETA: I want to seriously apologize. I don't like to air my dirty laundry as it were, and I would usually NEVER talk about this in such a public way but I am at my wit's end and the people I usually go to aren't available to me. Im sorry for putting all of this on here and if I made/make anyone uncomfortable, I'm very very sorry.