Planning for a baby does NOT mean they get to just forget everyone in their life, except for when they want gifts for a party. That's shady. I've had PLENTY of my friends have babies and we all hung out and had fun together during the pregnancies.
If you don't feel like its worth it to go, considering how they've seemingly blown everyone off...I'd maybe just send the gift to the party.
Either that or maybe the friends who don't want to go, you should all drop gifts off and leave once you've eaten and before she opens the gifts. tell her you all had an orgy to go to that was more important.
Toucan311
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Re: What would you do?
Eh, I'd go b/c you already said you would and bring the gift... then you've done your final duty and the ball will be in their court to keep up the friendship.
kristi313
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Re: What would you do?
send the gift but politely make up a lie as to why you can't attend, there is no legitimate excuse for the lack of contact and i would be insulted as i have been with a situation similar to this
SusiBtoM
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Re: What would you do?
I'd be annoyed too. Yes, their lives have changed now that they are expecting, but friends are a very important part of one's life. To cut everyone off and then to re-emerge when a gift giving situation is warranted is just rude.
Since you've already bout the gift, send it to their house with regrets that you could not attend the shower. Then meet up with your other friends who are not attending and plan a day out.
Browneyesncute
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Re: What would you do?
i would go, but maybe a couple days after the shower try to talk to them, not that its right but there probably wrapped up in there lives right now
jtgarsik
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Re: What would you do?
well - if u'd legitimately like to see her, i'd maybe be the bigger person & go..however i personally would be a little peeved.. would probably send her a gift & not go...maybe people not showing up will hopefully give her a little reality check??
TrueLoveIn2008
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Re: What would you do?
If it were me - I'd probably buy a smaller gift than if we had stayed in touch - but still go to the shower. Why, I am not sure, but if you were friends in the past and still care for the woman as a friend, I'd go ... but after that - if she remains distant - I'd become just as distant. Not out of spite - it's just that if someone is not interested in keeping in touch with me, even if they are busy with something big going on in their lives, I am not going to beg, you know??
agraydc
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Re: What would you do?
Posted by Mimacat
Eh, I'd go b/c you already said you would and bring the gift... then you've done your final duty and the ball will be in their court to keep up the friendship.
well put...... sorry they are being so rude
KK Holiday
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Re: What would you do?
Posted by Mimacat
Eh, I'd go b/c you already said you would and bring the gift... then you've done your final duty and the ball will be in their court to keep up the friendship.
agreed!
RadiantBride
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Re: What would you do?
Since this is someone that you had been friends for a while before the change, I would go. Even if it's to go for only an hour and drop off of the gift. Unfortunately life changes can change some people for the worse. After that though, I would leave the ball on their court as far as reaching out to them.
SFAR89
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Re: What would you do?
I agree with the PP's. I do agree that planning for a baby shouldn't excuse them from all contact with other people. Especially friends. However, it may be hectic. I have never had a baby, so I don't know.
Since this is a friend who you were close with, I would go to the shower to show that you were there and you are the bigger person. If after the shower, or at the shower, she ignores you, then I would either say something or just cut ties.
It seems to me that they weren't busy enough to come to your party to mention the sex of their baby, but they can't just respond to your text by saying 'Sorry , busy, I will ttyl' I think it's totally rude that they don't even give you that courtesy.
Kimbalina
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Re: What would you do?
This is the thing... when I RSVP'd I got the anserwing machine. I said I would be attending although I have to leave early because it is the same day as the party my family is having for my Grandparents 50th Anniversary,,, so I DO have somewhere to be. (my mom and I are throwing it at Sunset harbour)
lucky1010
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Re: What would you do?
I would just sendthe gift, give a call and say you won't be able to make it as you have a family event planned.. After the shower I would talk to them though...
TommysWife08
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Re: What would you do?
for me, it would depend on how close i am to this couple. i know you said you have only been friends with them for 6 years.... if i were SUPER close to the wife of the couple, then yes i would go. if it was one of those friendships where i would occasionally talk/text that person and only hang out when someone else made the plans, then i would either A: call and say you cant make it b/c of your own family event - but send the gift or B: go for a like an hour and leave
Kimbalina
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Re: What would you do?
I think I am still going to attend and leave after a an hour, so I can do everyhting for my grandparents party and not be rushed.
Thanks Ladies. I am just fusturated. I really hope that I hear from her after the shower...
futuremrsfab
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editted
flairforfashion
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Posted by Mimacat
Eh, I'd go b/c you already said you would and bring the gift... then you've done your final duty and the ball will be in their court to keep up the friendship.
ITA. Just go and then see what happens.
I hate when people flake out during big events that are happening in their lives. Okay. You're pregnant. Fine. But there are people still around. My world didn't stop because I was planning a wedding. I always kept my friends and family in my mind through the entire crazy process...
Mici n KC
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Re: What would you do?
IMHO it seems to me that you all were contacted when they need something and in this case, it's a gift for their new baby. I just find it so wrong that they don't have the decency to even email you that things are going on, I mean I know people are busy and everyone has different situations, but that's no excuse. If it was me, I wouldn't even respond to the invite. Her loss, you know?
ETS: Clearly I should have read the entire thread lol. I would definitely be hurt.
lizzie217
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Re: What would you do?
I can see why you are annoyed and hurt. I would be also.
I would go to the shower, bring the gift and from there let her/them make the next move. You won't have it on your conscience that you did something wrong.
