OK here is the scoop!

Before you read this please understand this is in NO WAY a criticism of the NEWLYWED board. This is normally the drama free board and I want to keep that way!!! If you were NOT on last night PLEASE DO NOT take offense!!!

There are several issues here so please bare with me.

THANK YOU WENDY FOR EXPLAINING IT!

Issue #1

OK this is what is going on! Last night I posted a thread about concerns that I am having about my marriage. I was very upset and I had been crying for hours about it, I will explain it in a minute. I watched the view and when it hit 20 and no one had responded I was hurt. But yet when there is drama, and I was not connected to this drama in any way shape or form everyone is more concerned about that than a member of our community that is in pain. That hurt. Should I have posted it on the NWR for more of response, maybe but this was a newlywed issue and this is where it belonged.

Now I DO NOT expect everyone to be on here as much as I have been on here lately. In fact I am jealous of you if you are not on here often because that means that you are out enjoying married life! That is great and believe me, I wish I had the same. I linked to a thread that has been deleted. I will not go into the thread because as I said I was not apart of it. What I said on this thread is this:

This website is a place for people to go to talk about their weddings, married life and having children. We are supposed to be here to help and support one another. I try to do that. (Maybe some might disagree with me but I think I try to help people on here) But when there is drama on here, and this was really STUPID drama everyone focuses that and loses sight that someone else maybe going through a real issue and not some stupid misinterpretation of writings! (I think I said this much better last night but I am at a loss) I basically said that there are some on here that need to get their priorities in order!

I feel like I have gone out of my way to help MANY on this site and I was ignored last night. I watched people post around my thread and that hurt. I watched the view count go up and nothing be said to help me. I needed advise. Maybe it truly is that only Karen and some of the NYP/NYFD wives can understand I don’t know but I needed comfort.

Issue #2

Due to a recent poster joining our community I have come to realize that I have posted too much personal information about myself and if you have noticed that things were being deleted, that is why. I forget about lurkers on here. I am an idiot because I am too trusting and naive. I think that I have ‘friends’ on here and forget about the LURKERS on here. So it has started to bother me.

Issue #3

The problem that caused the post, I have married for a month as of today. We have been home from our honeymoon for exactly 14 days and I would say of those 14 I have been alone for 10 of them. DH has been forced to work OT every night and I have had it. I am depressed and alone! I have 5 days left before I start back on my work schedule and I would have liked to be able to spend time with my husband. But I am constantly alone. He cannot refuse this OT it is mandatory in his company! It is not the norm but it seems to be becoming that way.

I have a cat! She is not a snuggler. As I also had stated I am one of my only friends that does not have children so they cannot just come to me at a drop of a hat. That is part of growing up and I COMPLETELY understand that! But as I said to someone do you know what it is like to let’s say come home at 5pm and have no one to talk to until the next morning, to not here another voice until then? It is horrible and depressing. I am married I am not supposed to feel like I live on my own! It is a loneliness that few will understand. It is not like he is away and coming back soon it could always be like this! Also- he cannot get another job at this point and if he says anything about the hours they are revengeful enough to put him on a WORSE shift. The last time he spoke up about wanting an American Flag to be hung up they put him on the worst shift for 2 weeks immediately after!

That is basically what is going on! I was hurt and still am that 150 something people viewed this thread and only 5 chose to respond! Lurkers and all! That is why I am hurt. It is in NO WAY a criticism to the people who were not on, but to the ones that bypassed a person obviously in need.

I am not saying I am gone forever just that I need to take a break, like many others on here because of the BS!!! So if you are thinking about causing drama I beg you to rethink what this site is here for and what you do to others on here!

Thank you for reading this and good luck to you all!


Sorry this is soooooo long



I am not saying I am gone forever just that I need to take a break like many others on here because of the BS!!!

I am with you. The people on here are really not very mature. I mean I have seen post on disagreements over the stupidest thing that I am wondering if people are really serious.

Wasn't on last night so I don't even know what you are talking about but my advise to you is to GET OUT. Join a book club. Start a book club. Just do something b/c yes I agree with you being alone can get depressing.

Good Vibes :)

Sorry James!! i am so sorry you feel that way, but i totally understand your need for a break,,

I feel for you with your situation with frankie working so much, frank used to work night hours and i hated it, i felt all alone and bored...but there was nothing i could do he had to do it to move up, and he did and we are all better for it now.. im sure things will look up soon!

Although I am not a newlywed, I'm gonna break the boundaries and post for you

You have been MORE than helpful and caring to all of us, and I'm sorry that you're so upset.

As for Frankie, I'm sure this is not what you envisioned married life to be. It stinks that the 2 of you haven't had more time together, and now you have to go back to work I'm sure he would want to change this and spend more time with you as well, and he doesn't like leaving you home alone. Hopefully it will be a sacrafice that you have to make for now, to better things for your future.

to you. Maybe we should plan a GTG???

i too have been hurt by the boards in the past. when I have been in pain my post have been viewed, but ignored. so i do not post stuff like that anymore and it is a shame.

i know i will never understand completely what you are going through, but i was not around for the drama and i am sorry i was not able to be there for you.

i consider this a place where i can get support, but have been let down many times, now you have too and you always try to support everyone. it is a shame they can't all support you too.

love mish

I am sorry that you are having a hard time right now. I hope that things will improve for you. What does your husband do, maybe someone on here can help with a new job that is not so demanding of his time.

I understand your needing a break, god knows we all do sometimes. I hope that it will be a short break and that you will be back her, posting in no time.

If you want, maybe, you can take up a hobby....hmmmm...scrapbooking will keep your mind off of things!! Let me know if you have any interest in getting into scrapping and maybe getting together with some of us to scrap!!

these hugs are for you! I hope you feel better soon!!

Lisa

PS...I know exactly how you feel about all the views to your thread but not responses! It had happened to me many a time!

I'm sorry about everything that happened to make you feel so bad...

yours was the last post I posted in yesterday...so I didn't see things escalate..


I understand the need for a break...but I hope that if you are lonely that you do come on...at least to lurk...

I hope everything works out for you....stay strong and keep yourself busy.

Sorry Jaimie Hugs to you
I dont come on as much as I used to b/c of BS crap too
I still post but not as much as before

I can totally relate to overtime crap as you know
I was on last nite for like four minutes to check something and I read only like two posts on slim down, if I saw your post - You know I would have replied(and I was busy relaxing on my anniversary


ALso, Remember VIEWS mean nothing!! the same person can open your thread twenty times and its twenty views not ONE plus everytime you open it its a view and remember also that Brides Read this board and some are afraid or do not feel comfortable posting here so that may be why there were so many views it might not have been all views by newlyweds


Tammy

I am sorry that you have had a bad experience with the boards - I can understand that you now need time away. But I hope to see you back again!

Hi Jamie,

Thanks for posting that.

I can totally understand your situation, as you know. I also feel disappointed and alone. When I finally do get to be with my DH, it will be 65 miles away from my family. While I only see him once a week now, at least I have my family around me and familiar surroundings. When we finally move in together, I will be alone every night and not even able to visit my family for companionship. I'll be in a strange new neighborhood, too. So I'm afraid my current situation is only going to worsen.

I feel angry a lot of the time, and resentful. I'm starting to realize that not all of us are so lucky to get married, move in with our DH's and just start our lives off without a hitch. Some of us have difficult cirumstances to deal with, and it can really make you feel disappointed and alone. That doesn't mean we love our DH's any less. But we are just trying to adjust to the reality of our marriage in comparison to what we hoped for and expected.

I haven't seen my DH since August 10, and will finally get to see him today!! He should be here by around 3 o'clock, but is only able to stay until later tonight. Sometimes it feels more like a booty call than a marriage.

We should have a special GTG for all the girls who are alone at nights...whose husbands are FDNY or NYPD or anyone whose job keeps them away at night. It might make us all feel better to know we are not alone in our experience or our feelings.



Karen

Jaime I am so sorry for what your feeling. I do agree with you whole heartedly about people being able to post 400 times on some inane topic but when someone genuinely needs help, 4 or five people answer.

If you need anything fm me

I am sorry you feel so let down by everyone here. I am guilty of a couple of those hits - I read your post and went back after thinking about what to say and then to see other responses.

I understand taking a break. This place can be a bit much sometimes. But most of the time we are good caring group. I hope you don't stay away too long.

I hope things with your DH's job get better so that you have more time together. DH's work scheudle changed so he was basically sleeping while I was home so I spent many weeks alone in the evening and on Saturdays. It's gets really boring and lonely.

Jamie

I am sorry you are sad. Things will get better. Adjusting to married life will take time and I can understand you feel lonely. I rarelt post anymore because of all the BS and the nasty FM I have gotten in the past. People get all weird and jealous and are a little self absorbed as you can tell by their posts and responses.

As for personal info on here. I keep it to a minimum now. I learned the hard way. Lot of haters on here. I wished people that had issues would have just come right out and said it.

What you posted is right and you deserved more than nosey people coming to read about your business but not caring enough to even send you a hug

I hope your hubby will get to spend a little time with you before you get back to work and hopefully once you do your routine will keep you busy when he has to work OT!

Jen

I totally understand Jaime! Hopefully you got my fm though.

I know how hard it is to be alone. I am alone a lot with my dh doing ot and its so hard!

I am here for you for anything you may need ever!

HUgs to you!

So sorry Jamie - you know me and you see eye to eye on this situation. I think all the replies tell enough and that people DO care about you and your feelings, but unfortunately they weren't addressed when you needed them to be. Again - I am so sorry for all that you are going thru. We need to have a job bashing night for all those men who have to work these ridiculous hours! I won't see Joe til Monday if that gives you any consolation. His days off were Sunday and Monday so now he's back to work until next Monday (4pm - midnight). Hang in there honey and I'm here if you need to vent.

awee Lauren, Craig is doing 4-12 thursday if you want to go to dinner, Jaimie come

Jamie-
I did not see your post last night. But, if I did I would have commented.

I understand what it's like to be a newlywed & sitting home waiting for my husband to come home. There are nights where he works until after 9:00pm. And sometimes when he does get home earlier he's so tired he falls asleep. (I actually just complained to him yesterday about it)

It will get easier!!! I wish you all the strength you need for this rough patch!!! If you want to talk FM me!!

-Tracy

So sorry you are going through this. I wish I know what to say. Im glad you were able to get this situation off your head and vent.
I hope thigs get better. Will hubby be working OT for awhile??
You two need a nice night out alone with NO distractions.
Hugs to you sweetie