People who didn't show up at your wedding.

I don't want to be rude, or sound like a Bridezilla, so I need your help.

I had invited some people to my wedding, from a job that I no longer work at, but I was close to some of them. During the Bridal Shower process after I sent out invitations, I had spoken to a friend from that job, and she told me that another girl I used to work with wants to know where her invitation is. I told her that I didn't really keep in touch with her so I wasn't going to invite her. The girl wound up emailing me and asking me where her invitation was. Since I did work with her and I knew her I figured why not send her one. I invited her, and she didn't even show up to the shower until the last 5 minutes.

Fast forward to the wedding, and I got a response from her that she was going to come with a guest. At the wedding I asked where she was and my friend told me that she was 'getting her hair done' and that she would be there soon.

Well, she never showed. Now she sends me an email asking me how married life is, and how I am doing, and that she was just thinking of me.

I sort of want to give her a piece of my mind. It just bugged me that she made a big deal about me not inviting her in the first place, and then she never shows up!

She never sent an email or called me to tell me that she was sorry she couldn't make it or w/e. I got nothing, so I sort of just let it go. But now that she emailed me like nothing happened, I sort of want to say something to her about it!

What would you do?

Oh man I would be MAD! You paid for her and a guest???

I would respond...married life is great....why werent you there?

Keep it short and sweet. See what she say to that!

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Posted by Jenn04

Oh man I would be MAD! You paid for her and a guest???

I would respond...married life is great....why werent you there?

Keep it short and sweet. See what she say to that!

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Agreed!

I'd probably tell her not to bother asking about married life since she didn't show up to the wedding celebration, even more so since she asked for an invitation and responded that she would attend with a guest. Let her know how hurtful that was.

What goes around comes around.

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Posted by Jenn04

Oh man I would be MAD! You paid for her and a guest???

I would respond...married life is great....why werent you there?

Keep it short and sweet. See what she say to that!

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I didn't want to mention the whole 'I paid for her plate' thing b/c I didn't want to make it seem like it was all about money, but when I could've saved a bunch of money for her and other people who also didn't show and call or email me about it later on, I am pissed about that lol

I think I will say something to her. :)
Thanks girls.

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Posted by Future_Farrell

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Posted by Jenn04

Oh man I would be MAD! You paid for her and a guest???

I would respond...married life is great....why werent you there?

Keep it short and sweet. See what she say to that!

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I didn't want to mention the whole 'I paid for her plate' thing b/c I didn't want to make it seem like it was all about money, but when I could've saved a bunch of money for her and other people who also didn't show and call or email me about it later on, I am pissed about that lol

I think I will say something to her. :)
Thanks girls.

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Maybe there was someone else you could have invited who would've been happy to be there. I can never understand how people do that.

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Posted by Mici n KC

I would absolutely say something. I would probably say something like, I'm surprised you care considering you never came to the wedding.

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Ita- I would have to say something! I am so excited- we are seeing this couple that didnt show up to our wedding this weekend- I have been thinking all week about what I could say!

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Posted by futuremrsfab

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Posted by Mici n KC

I would absolutely say something. I would probably say something like, I'm surprised you care considering you never came to the wedding.

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Ita- I would have to say something! I am so excited- we are seeing this couple that didnt show up to our wedding this weekend- I have been thinking all week about what I could say!

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lol Are you going to B!tch them out? Or are you going to kill them with kindness and see if the guilt eats away at them? haha

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Posted by futuremrsfab

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Posted by Mici n KC

I would absolutely say something. I would probably say something like, I'm surprised you care considering you never came to the wedding.

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Ita- I would have to say something! I am so excited- we are seeing this couple that didnt show up to our wedding this weekend- I have been thinking all week about what I could say!

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Do people really think that next time they see you, they'll be able to just brush it under the rug? I hope you are a super beotch!

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Posted by Future_Farrell

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Posted by futuremrsfab

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Posted by Mici n KC

I would absolutely say something. I would probably say something like, I'm surprised you care considering you never came to the wedding.

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Ita- I would have to say something! I am so excited- we are seeing this couple that didnt show up to our wedding this weekend- I have been thinking all week about what I could say!

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lol Are you going to B!tch them out? Or are you going to kill them with kindness and see if the guilt eats away at them? haha

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right now it could go either way- dh and I have been role playing them and coming up with all kinds of funny things to say- we'll probably end up making them crack up & feel guilty

we had six people not show from dh's job that said they were going to come ( 3 plus 1 guest each) we have seen them all after and asked what happened. Just as simple as that - oh so what happened with a smile.. We got lame excuses and just smiled and that was it. Being that Dh works with them he can't tell them to jump off a cliff but he has slowly done work for them. Like he has to stage their equipment so he puts their requests on the bottom of the pile.

Honestly it is b/s i have no respect for people who do that since they cost us roughly $600.

Yup , I agree. Another girl from that job that I was actually very close with, also told me she was coming to the BS and the Wedding and she never showed up for both. I think the first time there was a problem like emergency, and the wedding she never called or wrote to me either.

I gave the other girl a piece of my mind, b/c I really didn't like her to begin with. She was sort of mouthy to everyone at my job, and she is very selfish. I sort of went off on her in the email and just told her that she had some balls to ask me how I was doing with 'married' life when she didn't even come to the wedding. I told her that I hope one day when she gets married and she pays for all sorts of people and they don't show up, that she feels as hurt as I did.

That's about it :)

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Posted by Future_Farrell

Yup , I agree. Another girl from that job that I was actually very close with, also told me she was coming to the BS and the Wedding and she never showed up for both. I think the first time there was a problem like emergency, and the wedding she never called or wrote to me either.

I gave the other girl a piece of my mind, b/c I really didn't like her to begin with. She was sort of mouthy to everyone at my job, and she is very selfish. I sort of went off on her in the email and just told her that she had some balls to ask me how I was doing with 'married' life when she didn't even come to the wedding. I told her that I hope one day when she gets married and she pays for all sorts of people and they don't show up, that she feels as hurt as I did.

That's about it :)

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Good- I hope that now you can put it behind you- you stood up for yourself and that was awesome! I think sometimes it helps to get this stuff out because people honestly dont have a clue what hurt their actions cause.

We had 8 people not show up for the wedding - that's one whole table where not only could I have saved the cost of the plates, I could have ordered one less CP.
They were all DH's family. From 2 couples we received phone calls regarding family emergencies. Fine, it happens, but they also were considerate enough to send a gift.
From the other 2 couples - nada. I've told DH that gives me the right to be barely civil with them, not the way I am with his other family. One couple we don't see, the other we've seen a few times, and barely civil it is. Even at my MIL's funeral I was barely civil.
Arseholes.

One of DH's cousins didn't show up. He RSVP'd yes to our engagement party and never showed up....he gave us a gift as SIL's engagement party almost a year later. (mixed them up too =))

For our wedding he RSVP'd yes, we were going to keep him off the list but FMIL said to keep him on. He never showed up, never called (supposedly his father said they were embarrased to my FIL--but who knows). We've been married almost 3 months and haven't heard a peep from his or his fam.

So, it happens.........

This is what she sent me:

Well don't hold back how you feel Sara. You are right?I should have called and apologize for not coming but things came up and I could not make it. As you were aware my baby shower was the same weekend which I only found out the Friday because it was a surprise and I really had no idea when it was to begin with but if I knew it was the same weekend them I would have said from the beginning I would not be able to come to the wedding. Well I could see that you are pretty upset by this and I am sorry but I can't change the fact. Anyway it was never intentional and I still wish you all the best.


what does her baby shower have to do with the wedding???? I still told her that she could've called me that friday to tell me, so that maybe I could've called the hall and had them charge me for 2 less plates. She could've said something, an email, a phone call, but I got nothing. I just told her that as well, I told her that I thought it was very rude of her.

So she did lie to me, telling her friends to tell me that she was getting her hair done, and just didn't want to come to my wedding b/c she was getting ready for her baby shower. Which I understand, but you could've called me!!! lol