Post a dirty confession!!!

---

Posted by PeteysBride

I TOTALLY CANNOT post the worst one..lol Its BAD..-rolls- Lets just say its one of those 'horny coming of age-but-not-having-sex-yet-with-anyone-but-yourself-' stories involving me...and ...well the bathroom..in some context...lmao and NO HANDS cause those got boring... yea..exactly..


SO can't divulge that one but will say one thatw as bad was i was 19-first boyrfiend made 'special' brownies. Y'all know the kind. Anyway we ate em and left the pan in the kitchen like dumbutts. So we get higher than kites, laughing, bonking, good stuff. Fell asleep but never heard his mom come home, go into the kitchen and EAT the brownies!!!

We get a call an hour later that she is IN THE HOSPITAL DOWNTOWN because she started feeling funny and didnt know why. She thought she was dying cause hr heart started to race. We had to go and see her STILL STONED, took a taxi there, nad had to answer questions to Doctor and the cops who called in the fact she collapsed and called the paramedics... Im standing there trying not to giggle and give myself away and the poor woman is freaking out, asking my ex to take care of her younger kids if she died etc...

We left before they tested her blood. dumped out the whole pan when we got home. She never found out about it...

Thats my confession!

---

THats so wrong, yet sooo FUNNY!!!

You got the recipe for those 'special' brownies!!

LOL he made em-I think just plain old Betty crocker Superfudge lmao. -grins- Thats the story you comment on huh...guess some depravities are beyong even you

---

Posted by PeteysBride

LOL he made em-I think just plain old Betty crocker Superfudge lmao. -grins- Thats the story you comment on huh...guess some depravities are beyong even you

---

You guys are all soo funny......

Here is a funny story of mine. DH and I were at my parents house and we were making guacamole (my mom was on her way back form the store). Well you know what goes in guacamole ight?? Avocados, garlic, tomoato, cilantro, red onion, JALAPNEOS!!! Well, when we were done we started fooling around and after a few minutes things started getting 'warm' down there And then it started to BURN BABY BURN....OH MY GOD....It was horrible and then DH started to burn and we started freaking out and we knew my mom was on her way home and we couldn't figure out what to do. So he gets the brilliant idea that lemon will kelp get rid of the burning. SO we start rubbing lemon down there...and IT MAKES IT WORSE

So we both jump in the shower and are soaping like crazy and my mom gets home....yeah and we are both in the shower together.

Eventually the burning subsided but I was sooo sore down there for weeks

Edited cause I can never spell

---

Posted by FullersBride

You guys are all soo funny......

Here is a funny story of mine. DH and I were at my parents house and we were making guacamole (my mom was on her way back form the store). Well you know what goes in guacamole ight?? Avocados, garlic, tomoato, cilantro, red onion, JALAPNEOS!!! Well, when we were done we started fooling around and after a few minutes things started getting 'warm' down there And then it started to BURN BAY BURN....OH MY GOD....It was horrible and then DH started to burn and we started freaking out and we knew my mom was on her way home and we couldn't figure out what to do. So he gets the brilliant idea that lemon will kelp get rid of the burning. SO we start rubbing lemon down there...and IT MAKES IT WORSE

So we both jump in the shower and are soaping like crazy and my mom gets home....yeah and we are both in the shower together.

Eventually the burning subsided but I was sooo sore down there for weeks

---

-dies- that remind sme of the movie Apocalypse now where the couple comes running out of the hut lmao she drinking water and him sitting ina trough of water!

---

Posted by FullersBride

You guys are all soo funny......

Here is a funny story of mine. DH and I were at my parents house and we were making guacamole (my mom was on her way back form the store). Well you know what goes in guacamole ight?? Avocados, garlic, tomoato, cilantro, red onion, JALAPNEOS!!! Well, when we were done we started fooling around and after a few minutes things started getting 'warm' down there And then it started to BURN BABY BURN....OH MY GOD....It was horrible and then DH started to burn and we started freaking out and we knew my mom was on her way home and we couldn't figure out what to do. So he gets the brilliant idea that lemon will kelp get rid of the burning. SO we start rubbing lemon down there...and IT MAKES IT WORSE

So we both jump in the shower and are soaping like crazy and my mom gets home....yeah and we are both in the shower together.

Eventually the burning subsided but I was sooo sore down there for weeks

Edited cause I can never spell

---

OMG_ THAT IS HYSTERICAL!!

---

Posted by Brian and Marie

---

Posted by AeroJenn

this isnt THAT bad, but when i was in high school i had read something in a magazine that said that a woman can only cum up to 30 times in a 12-hour period. I totally didnt believe it AT ALL, so I skipped school one day and stayed home to test the theory Lets just say that by 3:00pm that day my hand was cramping and i was physically exhausted.....but a woman can definately cum more than 30 times in a day

---

THATS GREAT!!!! You used your hand??? No vibrators??

---

just hands -- i didnt have a vibrator back then

---

Posted by PeteysBride

Ok because that one was pretty depraved I'll post this..no judgements please! I was FOURTEEN and naive and BORED...lethal combo. Anyway my grams apartment was old fashioned-bathroom fixtures were modern though. The shower knob...was shaped funny..kinda..you know 'funny' like oooo interesting to a teenage pervert kind of funny.

So...I wont get into the excruciatign details but somehow I managed to find out how 'funny' that phallicy fixture after cleaned and shiny, could make ME feel. So after a toe curling 'WOW so THATS what that is all about' moment, I try to get up....and can't....cause I was STUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Stuck for I kid you not...a solid 30 seconds that felt like an eternity and I imagined firemen hsving to knock down the wall to get me up and caueing massive flooding through the building as pipes were busted to free me...

Needless to say once I 'relaxed' i slid off fine.

NEVER AGAIN with anything not my hand lol or an appendange of an ex till I discovered gummy feelign latex!

TOLD YOU itw as bad!

---

jen, i love you for sharing that! cracks me up. OMG, you had me rolling!!

trust me, i have some bad stories, i just never got caught!

did your grandma find out about this!???!

---

Posted by Aug07OFCbride

---

Posted by AeroJenn

this isnt THAT bad, but when i was in high school i had read something in a magazine that said that a woman can only cum up to 30 times in a 12-hour period. I totally didnt believe it AT ALL, so I skipped school one day and stayed home to test the theory Lets just say that by 3:00pm that day my hand was cramping and i was physically exhausted.....but a woman can definately cum more than 30 times in a day

---

i always wondered how many times i could have an O.

---

seriously tho....i was sore for days after that.

---

Posted by AeroJenn

---

Posted by Aug07OFCbride

---

Posted by AeroJenn

this isnt THAT bad, but when i was in high school i had read something in a magazine that said that a woman can only cum up to 30 times in a 12-hour period. I totally didnt believe it AT ALL, so I skipped school one day and stayed home to test the theory Lets just say that by 3:00pm that day my hand was cramping and i was physically exhausted.....but a woman can definately cum more than 30 times in a day

---

i always wondered how many times i could have an O.

---

seriously tho....i was sore for days after that.

---

omg, i cant imagine!

---

Posted by Aug07OFCbride

---

Posted by PeteysBride

Ok because that one was pretty depraved I'll post this..no judgements please! I was FOURTEEN and naive and BORED...lethal combo. Anyway my grams apartment was old fashioned-bathroom fixtures were modern though. The shower knob...was shaped funny..kinda..you know 'funny' like oooo interesting to a teenage pervert kind of funny.

So...I wont get into the excruciatign details but somehow I managed to find out how 'funny' that phallicy fixture after cleaned and shiny, could make ME feel. So after a toe curling 'WOW so THATS what that is all about' moment, I try to get up....and can't....cause I was STUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Stuck for I kid you not...a solid 30 seconds that felt like an eternity and I imagined firemen hsving to knock down the wall to get me up and caueing massive flooding through the building as pipes were busted to free me...

Needless to say once I 'relaxed' i slid off fine.

NEVER AGAIN with anything not my hand lol or an appendange of an ex till I discovered gummy feelign latex!

TOLD YOU itw as bad!

---

jen, i love you for sharing that! cracks me up. OMG, you had me rolling!!

trust me, i have some bad stories, i just never got caught!

did your grandma find out about this!???!

---

HELL NO LMAO> She was very liberal in many ways lmao but I remember when i was 18 and she saw me wearing thing underwear she flipped lmao because in her time only dancers and 'fancy fast' women wore thongs -hoots- generation clash.

---

Posted by PeteysBride

Ok because that one was pretty depraved I'll post this..no judgements please! I was FOURTEEN and naive and BORED...lethal combo. Anyway my grams apartment was old fashioned-bathroom fixtures were modern though. The shower knob...was shaped funny..kinda..you know 'funny' like oooo interesting to a teenage pervert kind of funny.

So...I wont get into the excruciatign details but somehow I managed to find out how 'funny' that phallicy fixture after cleaned and shiny, could make ME feel. So after a toe curling 'WOW so THATS what that is all about' moment, I try to get up....and can't....cause I was STUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Stuck for I kid you not...a solid 30 seconds that felt like an eternity and I imagined firemen hsving to knock down the wall to get me up and caueing massive flooding through the building as pipes were busted to free me...

Needless to say once I 'relaxed' i slid off fine.

NEVER AGAIN with anything not my hand lol or an appendange of an ex till I discovered gummy feelign latex!

TOLD YOU itw as bad!

---

OMG- I'm dying over here!!! I think we've all experimented with crazy things- you're not alone!!