QOTD 4/17

Original post by lizzie217

Apr 17, 2009 09:21 AM

Okay...so I posted this on LIF but I read a book and it is very thought provoking....

Baby Proof by Emily Griffin.

Basically a couple gets married with the agreement that NEITHER of them want a baby.Two yrs into marriage the husband changes his mind......problems insue.....WWYD??

lizzie217 Posted: Apr 17, 2009 10:27 AM

Re: QOTD 4/17

Posted by jtgarsik

QUOTE]

i agree..they are in the wrong if they came to an agreement beforehand..buuuut - time & maturity can change a person..i've seen it happen many times where people say 'oh gosh i dont want kids!' and then 5years down the road their mindset is changing & want a family.. i do agree that it's more the person that change's their mind's fault - but it just sux either way.. in a marraige u cant really say 'well u agreed to this so too bad' ...that will obviously just cause MAJOR resentment..it really is a tough one - i dont really have an answer! it is definetly something that can drive a couple apart though..many counseling sessions that's for sure!

Taryn I agree....for me I feel like I would think....if you love me , make me happy and have ababy with me. And the other party wil think...if you love me choose me over a baby

ChristineAaron08 Posted: Apr 17, 2009 11:31 AM

Re: QOTD 4/17

I would think it would be a deal breaker. Its a tough situation though and I would hope to come to a compromise, but at the same time, if you both agreed to something then changed your mind..eeehh.

RockysGirl Posted: Apr 17, 2009 11:41 AM

Re: QOTD 4/17

Posted by ILOVEBRIAN2008

well DH and I both want kids...but if it was the opposite and all of a sudden he decided that he didn't want kids, I would have a HUGE problem with that

ditto. We both want children, but if he suddenly decided that he DIDN'T, I would NOT be okay with it. I don't think that would lead me into 'tricking' him into anything, cause that's just not right either. But we'd have some serious talk. I can be very convincing. I think he'd learn to see it my way. lol.

MSeed Posted: Apr 17, 2009 11:58 AM

Re: QOTD 4/17

Posted by lizzie217

Posted by MSeed

LOL... I just finished this book yesterday.

DH and I both want kids but right now I'm in the character Daphne's situation.

But, if I didn't want kids ever and my husband did after a couple of years I think I would probably have a baby.

**Edited for too much info on the book.

for you and baby dust (as they say on LIF I think )

Thanks!

Autumn08 Posted: Apr 17, 2009 02:10 PM

Re: QOTD 4/17

DH actually told me that if I didn't want children he wouldn't marry me. I assume if I changed my mind in two years he would be hurt and it definately wouldn't have a positive effect on the relationship. Our situation is the reversal of the original posted. Unfortunately children is not just a compromise but a whole shift in priorities and lifestyle. Every couple is different, I couldn't see DH or myself coming to an agreement for a compromise on this issue. Good thing we agree right?

snwb08 Posted: Apr 17, 2009 02:37 PM

Re: QOTD 4/17

Posted by bluekat16

DH and I have spoken about what if we can't have one. How far would we go to try to have children??

We both decided that maybe I would do some hormonal treatment if I can't concieve naturally but if that didn't work we wouldn't go any furthur and we would only try that for 1 year. After that we would just accept the fact that we wouldn't have children, which would be hard for b0th of us but we rather preserve our relationship than lose it in the quest to have children. We also decided we wouldn't adopt.

i felt this way too until I saw my sister go through it. she wanted a ton of kids since she was a teenager, and she couldn't have them naturally at ALL. It's all consuming and expensive but they've done TONS and now she is preg with twins.
I am the opposite in terms of I always said I never wanted kids (now i do, at least one). DH feels the same as me. So I'm 'afraid' that if I can't conceive naturally it will consume our marriage and I will obsess over it. I probably wouldn't go as far as my sister, but I think it's similar to the other situation in that you don't really know what exactly you're going to do until you are faced with the situation.