There used to be a time where (supposedly) all the husband expected from his wife was a kept house and a warm meal waiting for him upon his arrival.
While this was not strictly kept in my house growing up, it was still a basic standard.
Here's my question:
Do you think as we got older, and times have changed, that these expectations have changed?
My Answer:
DH doesn't cook, so I'm left to do it, but he won't flip out if there isn't a meal waiting for him. He'll simply go to the freezer and pull out some left-overs, or order something in.
Danigrl28
Posted:
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Re: QOTD: New Generation, New Expectations?
I feel that everything has to be equal in the relationship. If both people are working then all household jobs should be shared. However if the wife stays home then she should do all the cokking and cleaning. I have to say that I am very lucky, I get home later than Dh so he cooks every night ( I do the dishes).
kissy27
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Re: QOTD: New Generation, New Expectations?
Considering I get home considerably earlier then my husband, I make sure dinner is cooked for him! With that said, he does not expect it at all. If there is a day that I can't be home to cook, he has no problem going into the fridge & getting some to put in the microwave! When I cook, I make sure there is enough leftovers for 2 more meals!
I do most of the household chores because I have more free time then him but he is more then willing to help when I am in a bind!!! Plus I have OCD when it comes to cleaning, it needs to be done or else!!!
hocus
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD: New Generation, New Expectations?
I think a lot has changed because women work now and might even got home after their husbands. I think that most women certainly expect their husbands to help around the house in some way.
I do think that this might be a more common expectation if the wife didn't work -- but I don't know -- since I know so few people who can afford to stay at home.
Posted by ChrissynRicky
There used to be a time where (supposedly) all the husband expected from his wife was a kept house and a warm meal waiting for him upon his arrival.
While this was not strictly kept in my house growing up, it was still a basic standard.
Here's my question:
Do you think as we got older, and times have changed, that these expectations have changed?
My Answer:
DH doesn't cook, so I'm left to do it, but he won't flip out if there isn't a meal waiting for him. He'll simply go to the freezer and pull out some left-overs, or order something in.
leese
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD: New Generation, New Expectations?
I don't cook or clean. So, this whole 'living together' is kind of funny.
I really would like to pull my weight, but i really don't. I will though...I am sure. In the meantime, loving how my DH cooks, cleans and does laundry!
Beth1210
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Re: QOTD: New Generation, New Expectations?
I work and he works- so we have a cleaning woman who comes every week and I drop the laundry off to get done- that way we can spend the little free time we have together - together and not with me cleaning
he comes home to late to expect dinner- and usually eats at work
I don't expect him to do anything around the house- except lift heavy things
however- If I were to stop working- I don't think I would be able to get away with having a cleaning woman and not doing the laundry- even though he likes the way the laundrymat does his laundry better
FallBride05
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Re: QOTD: New Generation, New Expectations?
Posted by kissy27
Considering I get home considerably earlier then my husband, I make sure dinner is cooked for him! With that said, he does not expect it at all. If there is a day that I can't be home to cook, he has no problem going into the fridge & getting some to put in the microwave! When I cook, I make sure there is enough leftovers for 2 more meals!
I do most of the household chores because I have more free time then him but he is more then willing to help when I am in a bind!!! Plus I have OCD when it comes to cleaning, it needs to be done or else!!!
Same here. And besides, I love to cook. And the fact that I have an awesome kitchen just makes me want to cook even more.
I also do most of the household chores. Even though DH would help and has no problem doing so when I ask, he has his own timeline. I'm an immediate gratification type person and want it done when I want it done and one the way I want it done. (I have learned to relax a little on that issue).
We have a huge house, and it really is a lot of work for one person (or heck, even two of us). I have been given the go ahead to hire a cleaning person. I just haven't gotten around to it.
When the time comes for us to be parents, I will fortunately, be able to be a SAHM, but I will still use a cleaning person.
Brainy29
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Member since
Re: QOTD: New Generation, New Expectations?
I think it depends on indivdual family life of you and your husband. My husband has old style latino ideas. He wants a meal when he gets home and we pretty much split chores and the such. But, if I don't cook, he doesn't flip out, we just order food and keep it moving.
stephanief
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD: New Generation, New Expectations?
My DH cooks most of the time. I do the laundry and straighten up around the house. He also has garbage duty and he vaccums (sp)
I think I do more than him but it's okay
103005FallBride
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Member since
Re: QOTD: New Generation, New Expectations?
I LOVE my DH...he's sooo supportive in the household dept. I LOVE to clean...it's really an illness, but DH likes to help take the load off on me and do somethings on Fridays while I'm at work. He'll have the floors mopped, vacuumed and all laundry done by the time I get home. Sometimes I'm lost on Saturdays! HA! Cooking is my dept. If I'm out for the night DH will make himself a bowl of cereal, but for the most part I cook...another thing I love to do.
sarahbelle
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Re: QOTD: New Generation, New Expectations?
I think things began to change as women began working outside the home as much as men did. My DH cooks all of our meals. For most of the school year, I work an afterschool program, so I get home an hour later. Even now that I don't, he still does all of hte cooking.
jilmadison
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD: New Generation, New Expectations?
I am an old school girl! I wish I did not have to work and can stay home and cook and clean. I should have been born in the 50's
We both work long hours, and I do most of the cleaning and cooking, although he will help out here and there.
jeanla4c
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD: New Generation, New Expectations?
I think in some ways times have changed but I still put pressure on myself to do those things although I know I don't have to (just how female gender roles have been taught in our society)....We both lived on our own for almost 9 years after college before getting married---who ever is home first or has less stuff to do (I am in school) is the one who takes care of things.
DH has been AMAZING--cooking and cleaning a lot---I love it when I get to cook for him though!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MayBride06
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD: New Generation, New Expectations?
FH cooks and I clean. Works for us. And yes, expectations do change form generation to generation. back when our parents were married, a wife did not have to work, now dual incomes are a necessity. With that, expectations change.
Sweetpea130000
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD: New Generation, New Expectations?
DH cooks most of the time, he gets home earlier than I do. When he gets home later I cook, but he doesnt' expect it as soon as he walks in.
There are plenty of times neither of us wants to cook, so we order in.
I definitely think that the mind set has changed for the most part because women have careers now as opposed to being home with the kids (which I wish I could do when I have, but can't)
RVCBride
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Member since
Re: QOTD: New Generation, New Expectations?
The generations have definitely changed and with that definitely comes new expectations. However, I know that me cooking a lot may be considered 'old school' however my husband would be considered 'new school'. He doesn't EXPECT dinner or certain domestic things from me. I do it because it's my personality. He cleans, he cooks sometimes, and is very helpful with all the household chores.
Whereas I do believe that marriage and all it implies has evolved since the older generations, however one thing to me remains constant. Men need to feel respected and women need to feel loved. If this is accomplished it doesn't matter whether its old school or new.
Preshy7
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Re: QOTD: New Generation, New Expectations?
cooking -------- i cook because i like to- he doesn't expect it- and we get take out sometimes too- he will also make himself an omlette if i already ate
cleaning -------- he cleans up the dishes after I cook- if he is home and i am not home he cleans up the house however i find myself cleaning alot because i cant sleep if my house is dirty- but he never tells me to clean up - i just do it - also because i cook the most i clean up any cooking mess I made as for bathroom we both mess the bathroom and we both clean it we are going to hire a cleaning lady 2x a month for heavy duty things like bathroom tiles, floors and the kitchen
laundry ------- i dont touch his and he doesnt touch mine. we each have our own laundry basket
landscaping -------------- he takes care of what our landscapers dont
SPITSBRIDE
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD: New Generation, New Expectations?
We both work, I get home before DH and he gets home around 7:30 which is kind of late for dinner. I usually start cooking around 7 and by the time we finish eating and clean up it's already just about 9 pm.
Luckily, he is very understanding and doesn't expect a cooked meal every night. I usually cook 4 times a week, the other 3 nights we'll order out or go to our parents house.
As far as cleaning, I am a neurotic and tend to clean every day, it's a sickness
ETA: My DH does the laundry, he loves it...I have no complaints in that department
Snowboardgirl
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD: New Generation, New Expectations?
we both work I get home at 9:30 on an early or normal night. My DH sleeps at his mom's where his office is and comes home on Fridays for the weekend. This will all change soon, hopefully.
I eat my meals at work, and on the train coming home. I cook them in my office pantry!!
we have a cleaning woman for now, but We both do the laundry. He is wonderful. You never have to ask him to do anything around the house. He usually has to tell me to get stuff done!
