Question for Catholic Newlyweds

I just got talked out of a mass by the priest we requested

I think he said has a luncheon meeting - which floored me - that lunch is more important than a mass for a wedding - but thats my issue I guess

I was just wondering for those of you who got married in a church, do you have any regrets about the type of ceremony you chose (was it longer or shorter than you would have liked - or were you perfectly happy with the length of it?

Also - I was told that the only difference between the catholic mass and the catholic ceremony is the communion. Is that true?

Re: Question for Catholic Newlyweds

First off-- he has a lunch that day??? Are you kidding?? Since when does a priest advocate a ceremony?? That is ridiculous. I would DEMAND a mass if that happened to me. I'm sorry about that.

I had a full legnth mass. I guess it was just a few min. too long than I wanted it to be... our priest was a RAMBLER during the sermon!! he went off on some huge tangent about the movie the Passion of Christ!! I would have liked to cut out the sermon, because it ended up being embarrassing!
Also it took so long because we had SO many people at the church it took forever to get comunion to everyone.
Those were my 2 little peeves about the mass. I guess I would have done it the same way, since your vows go by so quickly, it was nice to have those few extra moments in the church.

Re: Question for Catholic Newlyweds

I had a ceremony because our parents are hispanics and don't speak english, so we didn;t want to go ahead and do the whole mass in english. The cermosny was supposed to be 45 mins and it took the priest 20 tops! can you believe that? it was VERY fast!

Re: Question for Catholic Newlyweds

We wanted a ceremony only, but our parents really pushed for a mass, so we agreed to it. We don't regret it at all.

Our priest said that the difference time-wise between a ceremony and mass is only 10-15 minutes. The entire mass was still under an hour - maybe 40 minutes total?

From what I can remember, the only significant difference between a ceremony and mass is communion. There also might have been an extra song or prayer.

Re: Question for Catholic Newlyweds

I didn't really have a choice about doing a ceremony because DH and his family aren't Catholic. And yes, the only difference between a ceremony and a mass is that there's no communion in the ceremony. The length of it was I'd say 30 minutes if that. The sermon was long (but good!)

If you want a mass, get a different priest, but honestly, unless receiving communion is super important to you and your families, it doesn't really make a difference if you do the ceremony.

Re: Question for Catholic Newlyweds

We had a full mass and it was 45 minutes. If the priest takes a long time saying the homily it can creep up to an hour. But, since your's has a luncheon ( what?) you won't have to worry about him talking too long! I'd request a full mass again if its important to you.

Oh, and I think the difference between the ceremony and full mass is communion and the gospel.

Re: Question for Catholic Newlyweds

First of all - Thanks so much for your replies - (I know this is the Newlywed board - but I figured you guys would know best)

I feel kind of cheated that the priest (who just took over as the head of the parish) actually talked me out of it.

But we actually decided to switch from the priest who was originally assigned to do the mass because I was told that he would stop speaking if he felt the photographer was 'getting in the way.'

I'm kind of throwing my hands up with the church aspect. Its not as welcoming a process as I expected it to be. Its kind of sad because the ceremony should be the most important part - IMO

Re: Question for Catholic Newlyweds

We did a cermenoy and i'm glad we did, it went quickly but then we had more time for pictures.
When i had to go meet my priest we had a 1pm appointment and had to wait until 1:30pm while he ate lunch. But what can you do, you can't complain.

Re: Question for Catholic Newlyweds

We had a full mass mainly because DH has 5 sisters! and we wanted to include them all but didn't want them all as BM's. A few weeks before I was second guessing myself but in all honesty I am SO glad that we decided to have the mass. It was 45 minutes which seemed to go by like 10 minutes but I was able to really savor each moment and take in each detail during our ceremony. Our guests are still commenting on how beautiful the mass was which makes me even hapier that we stuck to our original decision. If it's important to you, don't let a lunch date interfer with the most important day of your life!

Re: Question for Catholic Newlyweds

We did a full mass as well because receiving communion was important to me. We also had a lot of family to involve, and having a full mass was the simplest way to do it. Looking back on it, I sort of wish we had only a ceremony to give us more time for pictures and said heck with the family!

I think you should get another priest to perform your mass if you feel that you really want one. No one should talk you out of having a mass because they have a luncheon. That's just ridiculous. I'm also sorry that you are finding this process so hard. It amazes me to see thedifferences among the different parishes of LI.

Re: Question for Catholic Newlyweds

The difference between a ceremony and a full mass CAN be a lot. In my case, it was very different...but there are some that are exactly alike except for the communion. It depends on the church/priest.

I had the ceremony only and it was quite short ..but that is exactly what we wanted so we were happy.

If you want a full mass, you should have one.

Re: Question for Catholic Newlyweds

we had a ceremony. it was short and sweet, just what we wanted. but, you have to go with where your heart is and if it's with the mass, then choose another church or try talking to the priest.

Re: Question for Catholic Newlyweds

I am soooo happy we had a mass. It just felt more celebrational to us.

I was raised in a very Catholic family, DH wasn't.

So when we got engaged, and decided we would marry in the church, DH made his confirmation (something he didn't do when he was younger).

I WAS HIS SPONSOR!!!!

So it felt very right to us to have the mass, since DH embraced the religious aspect.

I still can't believe that he did that for me, the confirmation. LOVE HIM!