really sensitive situation...xpost from lif...

Sorry this is so long...but I really need some advice.

My friend and I were both raised the same religion. We are both still that religion, but we both have different takes on it. (VERY different takes may I add...)

Suddenly, every time I am out with her...she starts talking about how this one is going to heII and that one is going to heII, and how this entire group of people are going to heII. She is serious about what she says, and it's scary.

I do not believe even close to what she believes. I certainly do not bring up religious conversation with her, because I know it will lead to this. Yet somehow she always starts condemning people to heII. Some of the people she condemns when she condemns certain groups are my in laws. (She knows very well that my in laws belong to the 'group' which she is condemning).

I know I am being vague, but I don't want to repost some of the things that she says because they are so very, very cruel.

She is a good friend...one of the bridesmaids in my wedding...but I really do not know how to handle her when she says these things. I just say to her, 'You aren't supposed to judge people like that.' Yet she continues with these ridiculous statements. It's really starting to aggravate me. How would you deal with this?

DH says just to ignore her, and I know that I should...but I just can't. I just think what she says is SO wrong that I can't ignore it.

Re: really sensitive situation...xpost from lif...

... not needing specifics -- this obviously upsets you.

You need to sit her down and say 'Look...Chica... I love you, you're a great friend but you have to cool it with the religious damnation talk. You're starting to sound really harsh and it's starting to offend me. Please keep it yourself around me if you could.'

Re: really sensitive situation...xpost from lif...

I think you can handle this.

You need to speak with her. Tell her that you respect her beliefs, but when she speaks harshly it really maes your uncomfortable. Could she please just keep those kinds of things out your conversation.

If she says 'well that how I think' or or if she pushes back, ask her how she would feel if you spoke about Sex and everything that goes with it ALL the time.

Basically, if she pushes back put it into perspective for her.

If she still insistes on speaking the way she does, you have to make a decision if you want to be friends with her.

Good luck.

Re: really sensitive situation...xpost from lif...

i would respond with the 'those in glass in houses shouldnt throw the first stone' type of quotes

or just say, is that YOUR job to judge?

sounds like she really needs to CHECK herself!

ughh

sorry you need to deal. didnt realize you had the ALMIGHTY herself in your bridal party?!?!

Re: really sensitive situation...xpost from lif...

i agree with the other girls that you need to just be honest and tell her how upset and uncomfortable those comments make you feel. If she is a true friend she will respect your feelings and cut back on the religious talk.

Re: really sensitive situation...xpost from lif...

same as above. I wouldnt advise just ignoring her because it obvi bothers you (and rightfully so) and if you just don't say anything she will carry on and the cycle will never end.

Re: really sensitive situation...xpost from lif...

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Posted by flibbertigibbet

... not needing specifics -- this obviously upsets you.

You need to sit her down and say 'Look...Chica... I love you, you're a great friend but you have to cool it with the religious damnation talk. You're starting to sound really harsh and it's starting to offend me. Please keep it yourself around me if you could.'

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I agree... a gentle reminder that judging people isn't a reflection of Saintly behavior either.

Re: really sensitive situation...xpost from lif...

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Posted by rpdixygrl

I think you can handle this.

You need to speak with her. Tell her that you respect her beliefs, but when she speaks harshly it really maes your uncomfortable. Could she please just keep those kinds of things out your conversation.

If she says 'well that how I think' or or if she pushes back, ask her how she would feel if you spoke about Sex and everything that goes with it ALL the time.

Basically, if she pushes back put it into perspective for her.

If she still insistes on speaking the way she does, you have to make a decision if you want to be friends with her.

Good luck.

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ITA this is excellent advice

Re: really sensitive situation...xpost from lif...

I had a fiend years ago that would preach to me. Maybe not the same as with you but I sat down with her and said 'J- you know I love you and I totally happy that you have founds something in your life the makes you happy but I totally believe in my religion and I would change it.' Maybe you can do something on the same lines. Tell her I totally respect your views but they arent the same as mine and it is bothering me. If she is any kind of friend hopefully she will back off a bit.

Good luck Jen!