I was so mad this weekend. we went out and bought his parents a dvd player for their anniversary so they could watch our video. Apparently his mom and sis made this deal that my husband and his sister would buy them a digital cam...not even telling me which I dont think 200 is an appropriate anniversary gift to ask from newlyweds. But get this...his sister then divides the cost by three...yes three (me, my husband, and her) she owes 1/3. I told my husband his sis needs to find a man shes 31 and stop gift giving together without notifying me. so the mother then is on the phone asking y him and i did our gift without his sister (thinking it was a dig. cam). she doesnt want our dvd player...how rude is that? We r married now and we should be able to give our own gifts without judgement of what it is.
ckgmwedding
Posted:
Member since
Re: sibling gifts...still??
Definately agree that you should have at least been consulted about this- hence you not buying them the DVD player.
But my siblings and I, one who is still single do group gifts for my parents. My single sister always comes up with the best ideas and it saves us the trouble but she does consult us first. As for the splitting three ways, I remember when I was single and my brother and his wife would just give one-third. It made my sister and I so mad, especially since my SIL is very close to my parents. Now that we are married, I understand that we are two people, not one when it comes to sharing the costs. My brother, not really. Just a different perspective on that issue.
But I still agree that your SIL went about this one ALL wrong. As for you MIL rejecting your gift, we'll that is just rude!
FunBride
Posted:
Member since
Re: sibling gifts...still??
I agree with the above post, and actually with the original poster as well! Though it is frustrating that your husband and his sister still go into the gift buying procedure together, you are two parts of the third so you technically should put in 1/3 of the gift. putting in less would be stiffing his sister!
MissusJones
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Member since
Re: sibling gifts...still??
wow, i feel for you...i can see that type of drama for me ahead with my mil...i would have the 'family meeting' over dinner and have husband bring this matter to light with everyone there...now that you guys have created your own family you shouldn't feel obligated or guilted into giving a joint gift.
PKASHANSKY
Posted:
Member since
Re: sibling gifts...still??
I actually definitely see things different then posted above. I do not ask my husand to chip in for my families gifts as if we were seperate people. when we all go out to dinner with my parents me and my bro split in half, not give the inlaws 1/3s. The sisters not getting stiffed at all. its her parents. she planned this gift with her bro, not me. I would think I would have to be asked before I would put in my 1/3.
suven
Posted:
Member since
Re: sibling gifts...still??
dam, I wish I used your SIL's math when we bought my Grandma's birthday gift
All of us cousins (her grandchildren) split the cost for a $450 pendant. But, it was divided evenly between the 6 grandchildren, not taking into account any spouses.
Otherwise, I would have paid $25 instead of $75 since I was the only single person at the time
eta: I disagree with the way your SIL split the cost. That's just not right. For example, if my ILs thougth that DH and I could contribute more just because there are 2 of us, they'd be completely wrong. Each of us had a lot more cash to spend before getting married. Now, we are much more financially strained than we ever were before.
ckgmwedding
Posted:
Member since
Re: sibling gifts...still??
Honestly, I still think the worst part was not being consulted. It was just assumed that you would be contributing to this gift and that is just wrong!
FunBride
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Re: sibling gifts...still??
What was your DH's opinion?
PKASHANSKY
Posted:
Member since
Re: sibling gifts...still??
Would you believe my husband is such a mush that he gives in to everything. He wasnt going to tell me. He was going to pay the 2/3. It was his mom who had declined our gift that had me question the math in all of this. none of this was asked of me or explained to me. He is NEVER allowed to chip in with his sis again...not while we are married ; ) she creates her own set of rules and his parents declining our gift is BS. I NEVER thought I would have in law problems...not in this life...but unfortunately they began the day I got the ring!
